No wonder I can't get any friends.

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Part of it is due to Asperger's and other due to me being a piece of s**t.

When a normal person makes a mistake he or she tries to correct it as soon as possible as opposed to an autist, providing that person isn't a little s**t like me. Every time I realise my social mistakes, it's not until a day or two have passed and I wonder why the person is mad at me whilst I'm in the shower. This delayed reaction, this degree of unawareness of a given social situation is probably why I'm never going to get a friend.

I can't adapt, all I can do is having a large influx of data and then process it and make my decision in the future based on this data, just like a robot except I have no initial values and statements.

It really sucks when people starts getting suspicious of my persona and I start losing "friends". The problem is that even if I were to write a book on how to act, I would still be presented with scenarios in which I will act obliviously. Also much of the data is gone so it's back to square one.

Don't ever call yourself this except if you like to feel this way. Just try to improve yourself and try to become stronger. s**t happens! Get over it and try to get your self-esteem back!

Once I thought in that way too but I was totally wrong. Relax! Check your problems and get over it. I think you just didn't realise that you are trying anything the wrong way. What is your goal and what seems you to be the major problem with this?

It might be helpful to not attempt friendships right off the bat. Rather work on being an acquaintance.

If you find an activity where you can meet other people for a specific objective, it can take some of the pressure off because everyone is more focused on the group objectives.

For example you might look into a group like https://www.toastmasters.org/

The reason most people join is to learn to build confidence in public speaking. Since most people are terrified by the prospect of speaking, you may find a group of apprehensive and nervous people in which your idiosyncrasies might not stand out too much.

As you gain experience and acquire skills, you might find that you are ready to tackle the next level, friendships.

I have that problem except nowadays I tend to not analyze/dwell on the reasons others reacted the way they did to me. It can make me feel bad but I also don't really care if I p!ss otters off. I don't really have any offline friends except one that I only see about 1ce a year since I moved across the country to be with my online girlfriend. This is kinda OK with me. I've always been a loner & about the only time I had offline friends was when I was in skewl or working & I mostly saw them at skewl/work. I just spend a lot of time with my girlfriend instead. I like timf's advice & that's kind of how it was for me.

You don't really believe you're a piece of s*** do you?

What you're probably feeling is the whole situation is sh***y.

I know exactly what you're talking about. It once took me a week to figure out that a manipulative friend had said something that hurt me. I kept beating myself up about it and feeling like a b****. By the time I called them to have it out, they were all like, "Oh, I can't believe you're still thinking about that, blah, blah, blah..." and just laughed it off. I no longer see them, needless to say.

You've just got to give yourself time to find the people who will really understand you. They are out there, and you will find them, and they won't misunderstand you and cause you to doubt yourself. I think maybe what you've experienced is a lot of a**holes that perhaps try to take advantage of your patient and easy-going nature (at least what I glean from your post).

sometimes it took me months or even years to figure out how to correct a falling-out with somebody i cared about, happening because of me being well, me. but when i came to them, they mostly would be like HEY, TODDLES. they'd accept me, and the relationship would be better after. ya, its not a 100% rate, but its decent rate. we have problems, but we are not problems. and being able to figure out and react in days is, i'd say, quite great. no sarcasm. u are doing better than u think)))

No you’re definitely not that, you sound like a lovely person who just wants to make friends.
I went through a phase of trying to make friends and like one of the replies said above I got a couple of ‘fake friends’ who basically messed me around and said hurtful things. By the time I worked out what they actually meant it had already been a week or two and made me feel so stupid.

I was so lucky when I met Sena and Lily, best friends who actually accepted my Autism and me. They knew I struggled with socialising but they put up with it and explained things to me, they could tell by my expression when I didn’t understand what they were talking about. I was so lucky to have friends like that. Sadly Sena is gone now but I’m still friends with Lily and we speak almost every day.

Don’t beat yourself up because of this. You’re not a bad person, you just want to make friends and that’s not an easy thing to do for people with Autism. There will be people out there who will treat you right and be the friends you deserve. If people treat you like dirt just ignore them, at the end of the day it’s their loss because they would have just missed out on making a great friend!

Good luck! Whoever does end up with you as their friend will be very lucky

also, as it happens in many of us, we have depressions. when ur system is devoid of endorphines, u feel bad. unreasonably bad. thinking of self as ultimately (paste negative adjective) is just what happens. and whats most important in this state, is to know its not u. its ur depression speaking. like a demon in ur ear telling u that u are bad. while ur angel just flew off to get himself a hamburger. such an unresonsible fellow, tssk. so well, u gotta wait for him to return and do his job. and it all starts feeling different. then another round. thats what we do, ya. going rounds. i thought its just me, i thought something is fundamentally wrong with me. but its only how that brain works, and u have the same.
you are ausome

Doesn't your friends let you know if you've upset them or you notice it on their changed behavior towards you? In that case you should just be able to ask them what's wrong so you can let them know you didn't mean to be rude and if they don't consider that to be enough (that you have to realize what you did on your own) then maybe you're hanging with the wrong people who aren't understanding enough of your social problems or willing to help you learn by telling you when you said something wrong.

Luckily you can practice social skills and learning how to approach other people both by your own practice and with professionals. Such problems shouldn't be in the way of friendship that's very unfortunate.