How to go on when your soul is destroyed and there's no hope

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I honestly haven't been doing too well over the past couple years, but in the last 6 weeks I've really gone on a downward spiral. I was rejected by this guy who I really really really liked for a long time, and since then it's been just so difficult to get through every day. It takes every ounce of willpower to even get myself out of bed in the morning.
I feel so worthless and unloved, the only thing that's keeping me from going and swallowing a bottle of tylenol is the vague possibility that I might become a great actor someday. But it's very hard. It's like my whole world shutting down and I can't see any way out of it. I finally started seeing a therapist, but I'm not finding it to be very useful. When I tell her how much I'm hurting, she just sits there and says nothing.

I don't have any friends or anyone that cares about me. I can't think of any realistic reason why that's going to change. Everyone in every single social situation has rejected me my entire life. I expect that this is probably where someone is going to trot out the banal "go join a club of people who share your interests!" advice, but believe me, I've done all that and more. You can't force people to choose you... either they care about you or they don't, at the end of the day, it's really out of your hands.

If you have beaten depression before then there is hope, right?

One of the root causes of depression is unceasing stress. There is a form of therapy that can help. I suggest you read the book by Peter A. Levine, called In An Unspoken Voice.

I'm very sorry you're feeling this way. I know having internet friends isn't the same as face to face, but I hope it helps you to know that people here care about you and your troubles.

What does your therapist suggest to remedy your situation? Anything? Do you think you have depression and if so, have you tried medication?

You've never had a friendship or relationship ever in your entire life at any point?

Can you get back with the guy you have rejected? Surely you must have had some kind of relationship with a person in the past. Im pretty lonely now to. I cant see anyone wanting to be my boyfriend. I dont know how to strike up conversations with people so that doesnt help. I would like to have a friend or lover I can trust.

I hope you become an actor!

=(

please forgive me if i will sound rude and inconsiderate. but soul destroyed over 1 guy not feeling like to start a relationship? my 8-years-old marriage had ended in a mutual meltdown one night. our year-old child crying in my arms while we had a shouting match. for hells' sake. sorry but if someone had politely just refused to start, ist not end of the world, or end of u. it happens to people all the time. i had gone through cancer, through losing a whole life i had, through goddamnit whatevertherewaselse, losing people i loved in different ways. u just had a turn-down. speaking from the other end of abyss u only saw a faint glimpse of there. u might feel bad, u might feel sad. it might have triggered some previous trauma so common in aspergerians. but it can happen to allistic person of any gender, it happens to allistic persons of any gender, any day, every day. please try to see a perspective and realise how ur life only did not GAIN what u wanted. didnt lose anything, right? im trying to be careful, because well, u might not have experienced anything harder than this turn-down, but just.get.urself.togather please. get medication if u need to. aspergerian nerves are thin, yes. but the pain will pass if u dont hold onto it. get up, get going. u are alive and whole, more than u think. guardian demon has spoken.

i am not competing here. nope. i dont go in those. but u gotta place ur problems in a correct bracket. which is why i am bringing examples.

also because i know far too well, when feeling that sh***y, u need to be pissed off to get up. so i am pissing u off. i am ur guardian demon, and i do what it takes.
now, u get ready. give it a bust.
read this.
viewtopic.php?t=368657

then use it. or make something of ur own. get up. u can.

Sometimes, "banal" advice is good advice.

You're an actor. You can play characters. I'm jealous of that...because I'm not an actor and I can't play characters.

What roles have you played? Shakespeare?

and ya just to explain. soul destroyed, is when u have traumatic amnesia. and no idea u have it. when half of u is locked off. when simple 2 letters in a sequence can send u in a tear fit. when u cant even catch urself before u start raging, lashing out at people u care for. when u cant remember what did u do at some point. when u are living for months in multiple layers of flashbacks. lost. degraded. unable to even put ur finger on whats happening to u. when u look at ur own old posts somewhere and cant remember thinking it, feeling it, let alone writing it. when an innocent thing, like some sound, like special shade of color, can call the abformentioned flashbacks and u wont be able to get out on ur own. when even if u remember something full of joy, u cant think about it. when u hate urself so intencely, that (stopping right here).
u dont hate urself, i presume. u have a memory integrity. u feel like death, but its simple depression. it can be defeated. and sometimes without as much as pills. ur life is still urs. ur hopes are there, even in depression, even muted by depression, but they are existent. and the feeling that nobody cares, is a lie. ur own lie to urself, the one we all do, when we are depressed. nobody cares. nobody wants to see. when i cracked up, i couldnt believe how many people would care, but would just not know how much i need help. because i didnt let them know. if u come asking for help, it allready means ur soul is whole. broken people dont ask. i didnt believe i deserve help, i didnt believe anybody would care. i was proven wrong. u dont need proving. but well, i do care, which is why i am being a jerk here. get angry, get up, get going. easier that way. rage is one hell of anesthetic.