Extreme Fear of Finding a Job

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Hello everyone!

I’m 22, going on 23, and unemployed. I’m still living with my parents, though I’ve graduated from college this year. I have been doing volunteer work for almost two years, and I have also been a camp counselor this summer. The other job I used to do was tutoring elementary school children, but I used to get my clients from an institute that has stopped calling me many months ago without even telling me why.

My parents now insist that I must get a job, because they can’t keep supporting me all my life and they’re not going to live forever. However, every time I think about getting a job that is related to my major I get really anxious and en up curled up in my bed, crying. I just think I’m not good enough, and anybody with a high school degree could do any job better than me. I was always an average student, and I made many mistakes in some exams, so I think I’m not qualified for working. The prospect of being paid is a lot more pressure than I can bear, because I feel I need to do everything perfect if I get a job.

I’m also considering teaching, but I’ve already failed with tutoring and I don’t know why. And that was with only one student at a time. How could I manage a regular class with over twenty students?

Doing something unrelated to my course of studies is my only other choice, but the options are just too unappealing and they would have to be non qualified work. I’m not organized and I’m really slow and clumsy, and even doing housework is hard for me. I feel I could not even work sweeping a MacDonald’s floors.

Now every time my parents ask me whether I’ve applied for a new job or they tell me they know somebody who might get me one I just want to cry. I even have suicidal thoughts related to this: I fantasize with the idea of killing myself to escape my life, my obligation to find a job and the truth that I’m hopelessly useless and unqualified for anything.

Am I the only person here who has ever felt an extreme fear of getting a job?

Yeah Im scared of work. I had jobs in the past and I was very slow. Wasnt very good at them. I actually went through a period of psychosis because I was afraid of working. They gave me disability for it. I dont get very much from the goverment but I get by.

I wish I had some advice to give. Face your fears maybe. Maybe with practice you will get good at work. Theres always disability if your anxiety is to high to work.

Are you seeing a counselor or psychiatrist OP Having those suicidal thoughts is very serious & counseling &/or meds might help with your anxiety.

I know you feel your not able to go for jobs that your either overqualified for or dont know how to do, but believe me its easy if you just accept that you need to facilitate your way to independance. Ive worked in all the scales of employment from dirt floor cleaner up to post grad professional. None of them hurt me, and Im glad of the experience I got from them all.

I never stopped trying different things and I got jobs and left by dinnertime if I didnt think I could do them, or didnt like them but I still went onto try something else. The more you think you cant, you cant. Start thinking you can, and you will.

The anticipation of something is usually much worse than actually doing it.

I would suggest you find a job that limits your time around other people. I'm NT but I'm terrible with people so I mostly work on files and on a computer and a very small group of coworkers. I prefer it that way and I don't have to worry about my social anxiety. You might find that helps you a bit.

I don't have a "fear", but job hunting is definitely incredibly depressing for me. Putting in all of this time and effort, just to get rejected on even the simplest of jobs. Not to mention, if there's actually an interview, that's not going to go well at all.

Having a job (the right job) is no problem at all. Meeting all of the new people is awkward at first, but you get over it.

Translate while you look for something else.

Do you live in a town or city that has a decent sized business district? If so, I would highly recommend that you apply for work with a temp agency. There are many great advantages to getting your feet wet doing temp work and include, in no particular order:

- You work for the temp agency and not for the business you're assigned to do short term work for.

- Most jobs are short term. Perhaps a few days or a few weeks. This takes the pressure off you. You don't have to think/worry about whether you think you can handle job "X" for a long time, career, etc.

- There is a good amount of variety since the jobs tend to be short term giving you an opportunity to see what you might like or not like, what you're capable of doing, or not.

- YOU dictate the kind of jobs you want or don't want and the temp agency offers you work accordingly. You can, for example, say you want clerical work, filing, sorting, etc but you do not want physical labor or whatever your desire is in that regard.

- If it simply doesn't work out, who cares? If one of the businesses you temp for doesn't have any more work for you or for whatever reason they decide they no longer need/want your services, you're not being fired.

- There is no reason at all that you would need to disclose anything about your autism. Nobody's business but yours.

- As a college grad, you would almost certainly be offered temp jobs for YOU to choose from.

Decades ago I moved to a large city and someone suggested I get set up with a temp agency. It was excellent advice. I'm very glad I did that. It also boosts your confidence if you work as hard and as diligently as you possibly can. My temp jobs reported back to the temp agency that I did a great job for them and they were very pleased. The temp agency relayed the positive feedback to me which gave me confidence enough to apply for work on my own directly with businesses.

Believe me, I know that fear can be crippling so I understand where you're coming from with that. Given that you're so young, if there is also any part of you aside from the fear where "you don't feel like" working, you do have to push yourself. I believe unless a person is physically or mentally unable to work, we as humans are obligated to do so. Trying your best to "earn your keep". Is it fair? We can try to blame Adam and Eve for getting kicked out of the Garden of Eden, but that won't do any good.....