Suicide Hotline

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i called a suicide hotline. it had an option "talk" aside from the more serious options.

so i talked. i told that too-young lady all about my whole life. it blew her away. the
next thing i knew there's horrible banging and rattling on the door. I said, 'What's that!"
and she said, "I called the Police."

Six of them! They deserve a post unto themselves - later. for now, suffice it to say
that i refused to go to hospital, and they offered me handcuffs!! ! So i went
peacefully into the ambulance. It was all very choreographed, timed to second,
good-cop / bad-cop, official handover police-to-medics - all very dramatic.
And I'm the one that wants quiet neighbours. The good-cop was very good -
young, blonde hair, pink-tan face, smiling, she sucked up to my cat. The bad-cop
wasn't so hot, but maybe he held his skills back. After all, you don't need Rambo
to get me into an ambulance.

There, i'll have a coffee, more later. Ultimately - nothing, as usual i'm fine.

My goodness Claradoon! I’m glad that there was a “good-cop” in the group. Hope it all goes well for you.

In counseling there is no such thing as a "mistake". It's called a "miscommunication"



A former psychologist told me "I wanna physically assault the president". As if he was trying to get me to say "yeah I wanna physically assault the president too". 5150


The other thing is that I get paranoid that the counselor will "misunderstand" something I said (or make it all up), and call 5150

The medics won't believe me, because I am nobody

And no videotape, because that violates HIPAA

Thank you. I was thinking, wouldn't it be nice to have a line people could call without consequences at all? "We are trained listeners, we have places to refer you if you want, but we will take no action at all as a result of what you say."

Ah, that's another way of saying "I wish I could talk to Mom." Actually, she did almost call an Ambulance on me for my anaphylaxis. Ah, well, nobody's perfect.

I know the idea's silly, what if somebody wants to shoot up a school. But could that be a try at grabbing the situation before it becomes real? What if the shooter talked and talked and talked before buying a gun? Is it possible to listen only?

I do know what you mean and I wish they wouldn't treat us like that.
What's 5150?
I think that where I live, I can record anything if I'm in it.

And that’s why I avoid counseling

Sorry you had to go though that, sadly there’s no group to call that won’t be like, oh they depress, need to lock them away and strip them of their rights.

never used one of those. and the shrink i went to, didnt tell her much, either. so she'd work with my latest trauma and i'd just not mention the rest xd which is why it failed xD look. im just recovering here, from a try. years of wanting it, months of planning it. and im here now. maybe i can help u?

I hate it when that happens. I've had it too. The hidden joys of discussing one's suicidal feelings!!

Sending you a big hug Claradoon.

Thank you all! The thing is, I felt much better because I had told it all.
But the too-young volunteer listener would have wanted to kill herself
if her situation was like mine. She called the Police because all she can
know is what she herself feels.

The paramedic asked me if I shouldn't pity the poor volunteer. Hey - no!
The line gets drawn somewhere! The ad didn't offer to listen to anybody
pretending to be normal. Been there, done that.

You just did, thank you. Even here, I won't say the whole truth because it might give you trauma! And that's why the therapists can't listen to it either. Oh, and there are people who use it as a power trip. I've done volunteer work in rehab and I was warned to tell rehabs that I'll call the Police on them. But that kind of talk is in the self-help books.

er wut? thats what i usually tell people, who want to get to know me xD queen of ptsd multiplity? still me. i dont think there is anything, that can hurt me more, than me. so well, u want it, u get it. tell me your story, dont worry, i've been there. and then we get out of it togather, deal?) i am a bit further on the road. i think so. and i am being held by a lot of arms.

You bet! The hospital followed "protocol" for a suicide - they took everything I own and locked it up, just like a prison. Not even my Kindle could I keep. Not my cellphone. So how do I ask somebody to feed my cat? (She's fine, I was only gone a day.) But I wasn't suicidal in the first place, and the medics were very angry with me.

What did they see? A woman who threatened suicide (did not!) and then had lots of physical problems when I got to the hospital. I asked for Gravol and I heard the nurse ask the doc, and them agree that I have "too many problems." I bet they thought I was one of those people who fake illness to get free meds or whatever. But no. Their high training is just wrong - it doesn't include people like me, if I tell the truth.

I know what they want to hear and I've been giving them that for years. It's true, too. But it doesn't mean there's any relief in it.

if they behave "angry" and mistreat u, then they clearly should undergo a re-eval xD ESPECIALLY if they thought u'd be suicidal. people in the thin of it really dont need to be messed with. got some s**t in hospitals, myself. would have to pull cards a few times. would have to sighn out once (ya because a "i dont care what u feel like, i have procedure" wouldnt be logical about it). its hard to deal with them, or anything, when ur mood is on zero. lack endorphines, check. isolation, check. hysterical next-bunk check. procedure over common sence, check. extra uneeded sting shots, check. s**t food, check. no checks when needed, check. xD ALL ACCORDING TO PLAN. sometimes better just avoid it all. surgery, okay. mental state? thanx, no. wont help anyways. at a best. so well, it really is absolutely harrowing. like well, when u have 1 last drop and all they do is dry u up. roger that. but thats what communities are for, right? nobody here gonna call the police)

They don’t take the individual into account. It’s why I won’t go to therapy. It doesn’t matter I wouldn’t actually kill myself as I can’t but expressing depressed wouldnsee me removed if my belongings and rights.

That sounds horrible I’d go crazy without my cell phone.
What’s gravol?

A pill otc in Canada is called Dramamine in USA, I think. It does wonders with nausea, motion-sickness, also it has a calming effect. But I had deep nausea at the hospital and they wouldn't treat a physical symptom because I had been brought in for "suicidal."

p.s. I meant Gravol = Dramamine.

Last edited by Claradoon on 08 Oct 2018, 6:06 pm, edited 1 time in total.