Is suicide inevitable?

Post Reply New Topic

How many people on here feel it's likely you will be driven to take your own life at some point?
I do not have any immediate plans or intent to harm myself, but I feel it's inevitable that I will likely kill myself eventually.
Is this feeling common among Aspies?

I’ve only thought about suicide once in my life: around the year 2000. My wife and I had a big argument, and I wanted to throw myself in front of a car afterwards.

Even before I became depressed and knew I had Aspergers, I thought about committing suicide because I was 17 and still didn't have a girlfriend like so many of my male classmates had. A girl I liked also didn't like me back and I visualized shooting myself in the head with a gun. I sometimes wish I just went ahead and got it over with because I am 30 now but still don't have a girlfriend and my life is bad on every level.

I've been contemplating suicide on and off for over a decade. I've decided that as long as my parents are still around, I won't do it, because of how it would affect them. If I'm still around when they aren't, and I still feel the same, I'm free to stick a knife through my subclavical arteries and keep cutting anywhere I can see veins through my skin until I no longer can, with hopes of bleeding out. So essentially, for me, yes, unless I die by some other means before then.

im on the other side, i think. i hope. slowly slowly learning to accept im alive and will stay alive. tho still getting compulsions sometimes, but they are now weaker. i had gone a week or so without bigtime one by now. thats something.

it has been said by several sagacious types, that suicides just don't know how to live. when I outright didn't know how to live, I thought about it often, fantasizing about having the smarts and courage to do it right, several times daily. I still don't really know how to live but thanks to plain old age and the wise people of WP, I at least know how NOT to live which has largely removed my suicidal urges.

I've been suicidal so often that I didn't realise there is anything unusual about the urge to kill yourself. As a teenager I used to believe it's just a normal part of puberty, everyone experience it and most people simply don't act on it.

It didn't stop after puberty. The point is, I didn't want to harm other people and I was sure I would seriously traumatize my family this way. I knew how I could do it. And the suffering was too much to bear.

But, as my husband says, I'm Vulcan. Suicide would not be rational. I started to look for help around mental health professionals. The first one misdiagnosed me and made it all even worse. After I realised he was wrong, I went for a second opinion. This time more succesful, I got antidepressants that helped me.
But the most important one was my therapist. With her, I learned to understand what I feel. Now I can acknowledge: I'm tired. I'm overwhelmed. I'm overstimulated. It's too luod around me so I suffer. This person doesn't respect my boudaries, making me uncomfortable. And so on.
And then it's no more some homogenous, generic suffering I expirience. It changed into understandable unpleasant expiriences that I can deal with. It makes the whole difference, I still suffer sometimes but it no longer urges me to end my life. Instead, I see my suffering can be dealt with other ways.

I think I felt like that when I was younger. I just wanted to go to sleep and not wake up again rather than do it myself.

It felt like year after year nothing ever got better.

But then things did start getting better. I made good friends. I finally found a job I liked. I moved to an area I love. I've got a much better quality of life.

Things can get better. I didn't give up. I kept on working at what I wanted and moving on to different jobs and locations until I found me my niche.

I'm 36, and nothing has ever gotten better for me. I have no way to meet new friends, and everyone I already know is always too busy and never has time to socialize anymore. I cannot get a decent job, despite having a degree which has put in debt. And I can never afford to get out of the s**thole I'm trapped in.

nothing got better for me. and not going to, either. to start with i dont have a job or a prospect to have it. then, well i dont want to write all s**t down. i'll send me all around. i must stay alive, and thats all i can do. can i? im trying. at least u dont have a kid who depends on u and is being hurt by ur disability. use that as a silver lining, m?)

No, it's not inevitable with the right help and support.

Everyone's different but I know if there is a perfect storm I'll try to do myself in again.

I've been there. That was how my life was 5 years ago.

I actually stopped looking for a job in my area of study and went into administration instead. I earn more doing that than I did in IT.

I was in a horrible damp house before I moved here.

All my friends had got married and were too busy to hang out with me. I was so lonely.

Even when I was really poor I managed to find ways to move. If I didn't like where I was I moved somewhere else. When I didn't like my job I got a different one. I would apply for months until I got one. Then I commuted and moved to the area my new job was in. I did this at least 10 times before I ended up here.

As a woman I would invite other women to go for coffee. I male version would be going to a bar for a pint I guess. Some of my closes friends are 10 years older and 10 years younger than me. Friends don't have to be the same age group.

Nobody wants to hire me. Nobody wants to date me. Nobody wants to be my friend.
The truth is that I'm an unwanted freak which NT society just wants to shove off into a dark corner and never have to deal with.
So I would really appreciate it if everybody would stop being ****ing hypocrites and quit pretending to all of a sudden give a damn the moment I decide to jump off of a bridge.
Since NT society is determined to make it impossible for me to live, the least the mother******s can do is let me ****ing die.

So in a few posts you've gone from 'I do not have any immediate plans or intent to harm myself' to 'the least the mother******s can do is let me ****ing die.' , are you having a manic episode , if you are don't trust your mind until it's passed.

Agreed.

Been there. In those head spaces nothing matters. You feel that No one cares about you. And nothing will ever make you feel better. And you hate everyone.

I just sit and watch Netflix in those spaces just to focus on something other than my pain. Or watch funny videos on YouTube. Or go for a walk.

No. I still have no immediate plans of suicide. But as the thread title suggests, its inevitable for someone like me. And what pisses me off is that when that moment does come, I know that the piece of sh!t NT society that has driven me to this point with its never-ending abuses won't just let me be. As if its any of their goddamned business.