The suffering never stops

Post Reply New Topic

I feel as if the vicious cycle I've been stuck in since I was 17 will never stop. I always feel unhappy and hopeless whenever I wake up and I go through the day without ever finding a solution to my suffering. Even when I am working, I think about how I will most likely die without achieving my dreams and fall into oblivion or even into Hell even though I am not religious. Why was I even born? All I ever do is fail at everything I attempt. I am living a wasted existence and when I die, no one will care. If anything, people will celebrate that I am no longer alive.

I wish I didn't fear pain so I could go ahead and kill myself.

Mark, please don't kill yourself. You are stuck in a cycle but there are ways out. Not easy ways, that is true. You can stop the negative thought patterns in your head. You can learn to enjoy life even if you don't have everything you want. Find something, no matter how small or inconsequential, and post it today in the "something that made you happy today." I will be looking for it.

Excellent work, Marknis, posting in the "happy" thread. As I wrote there, that post helps the rest of us know the whole you better. Try to post there every day.

One of the other things that helps people feel better about life and about themselves is to help others. I am extremely blessed to have work pretty much based on helping others. Regardless of what else happens in my life, I can sleep at night knowing I have done some good in this world.

Another thing I do, on the internet, is participate in Kiva, a program that provides microloans to businesses in areas where credit is difficult to find. Loan contributions begin at $25. Recipients pay back the loan and then you have the money to loan another $25.00. Here is the most recent loan I participated in. There were 31 total people or teams contributing to this loan.
https://www.kiva.org/lend/1626299?utm_s ... nfirmation

I know you don't have much money, but did you that giving away money is one of the things that brings people the most pleasure? It gives more pleasure (according to the social scientists who study these things) than spending money on yourself.