Blocked by a friend of 15 years

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Tim_Tex
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24 Nov 2018, 11:04 am

A couple of days ago, a longtime friend blocked me on FB because I wouldn’t move to rural Arkansas, where she lives.

There are no jobs in my field in her town (my degree is in geography). She is expecting me to get a job in a skilled trade, such as plumbing or carpentry, both of which require formal training and state licensure.

Why does *she* refuse to move? Because she wants to live in a place with absolutely no black people. She is a follower of Geert Wilders and Tommy Robinson on FB. While I am not “liberal” myself, I can’t change my life to suit her bigotry.

What complicates things further is that before she moved out of state (she used to live in Houston), she and I were sexually intimate, though never officially in a relationship.

So this has me very upset.


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BeaArthur
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24 Nov 2018, 12:01 pm

She has decided to "move on."

Why SHOULD she move to the place where you are - if you guys were not formally in a relationship? Let her live where she lives, and you live where you live.

Sometimes people outgrow each other, or to use a different metaphor, they move in different directions. If she has blocked you, you have no choice but to move on, also. Don't try to stalk her.

I suspect something in your recent interactions was hurtful or irritating to her. Maybe you can figure out what, and maybe you cannot. In any case, her intentions are now clear. She moved on, so you should move on, too.

Do whatever you do to self-soothe, assuming that is not damaging such as resuming addictive behavior. We live in a wide world with many choices, no matter where we are. You don't have to be stuck in this pseudo-relationship's grip. Find new friends and lovers.


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Tim_Tex
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24 Nov 2018, 1:51 pm

BeaArthur wrote:
She has decided to "move on."

Why SHOULD she move to the place where you are - if you guys were not formally in a relationship? Let her live where she lives, and you live where you live.

Sometimes people outgrow each other, or to use a different metaphor, they move in different directions. If she has blocked you, you have no choice but to move on, also. Don't try to stalk her.

I suspect something in your recent interactions was hurtful or irritating to her. Maybe you can figure out what, and maybe you cannot. In any case, her intentions are now clear. She moved on, so you should move on, too.

Do whatever you do to self-soothe, assuming that is not damaging such as resuming addictive behavior. We live in a wide world with many choices, no matter where we are. You don't have to be stuck in this pseudo-relationship's grip. Find new friends and lovers.


I can’t think of anything I could have said, it was completely unprovoked.


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kraftiekortie
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26 Nov 2018, 11:51 pm

I would tend to believe that. Tex is not a provocative fella.



enz
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27 Nov 2018, 12:29 am

Tim_Tex wrote:
A couple of days ago, a longtime friend blocked me on FB because I wouldn’t move to rural Arkansas, where she lives.



has she been manipulative in the past?

Sorry to hear that



nick007
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27 Nov 2018, 2:02 pm

She doesn't sound like she was really your friend if she was going to block you just cuz you refused to move to her when you guys had never officially had a relationship. Your much better off without her as a fake friend.


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ezbzbfcg2
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27 Nov 2018, 2:14 pm

...uh...

If she was the only woman you could get, and it was that good, well, beggars can't be choosers. She's giving you the ultimatum, "Take me as I am, or get lost."

I agree, it's silly to move to a rural locale and struggle. But if she's been your only female companion, you may have to consider it.

Don't listen to the resident echo-chamber here who give soundbite/stock answers. You need to think about this. You can't expect her to be at your beck-and-call, but I agree, moving far away can come with other problems.

Unless of course you have a whole slew of women in your little book. In that case, stay where you are, get over her, and move on to someone new.



enz
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27 Nov 2018, 5:09 pm

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
...uh...

If she was the only woman you could get, and it was that good, well, beggars can't be choosers. She's giving you the ultimatum, "Take me as I am, or get lost."

I agree, it's silly to move to a rural locale and struggle. But if she's been your only female companion, you may have to consider it.

Don't listen to the resident echo-chamber here who give soundbite/stock answers. You need to think about this. You can't expect her to be at your beck-and-call, but I agree, moving far away can come with other problems.

Unless of course you have a whole slew of women in your little book. In that case, stay where you are, get over her, and move on to someone new.


why can't she move? oh right black people



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27 Nov 2018, 5:55 pm

So ... a racist, manipulative person is using sex as the bait in a "My way or the highway" ultimatum.

Wow.

If "Beggars can't be choosers", then taking the "My way" option would make Tim Tex the Beggar King.

Choose the "Highway" option, instead. You deserve better ... much, much better.



shortfatbalduglyman
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27 Nov 2018, 10:58 pm

It sounds like there is something missing in your post

Why do you two have to live close together?

If she blocked you on Facebook or whatever, then maybe you should move on with your life

You might have other friends in the future

But life goes on , with or without her



Tim_Tex
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10 Dec 2018, 11:22 am

She may have just deactivated her account, rather than blocked me. But she recently reactivated it, and posted very hurtful things about me.


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kraftiekortie
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10 Dec 2018, 11:27 am

I'd forget about her, if I were you.

She ain't worth it.



envirozentinel
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10 Dec 2018, 11:44 am

I agree with Fnord that you can do much better.

It may hurt a bit to move on, but she is the one who won't compromise about where to live and who lives in the same town as her. She really doesn't sound worth chasing after. She can advertise for some racist redneck guy to come and join her on her rightist ranch.


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envirozentinel
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10 Dec 2018, 11:47 am

In other words, you're too nice for her.


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Noca
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11 Dec 2018, 3:38 pm

It sucks to lose a long time friend, whether or not they turned into a jerk. It's still a loss. :(


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