SCARED TO DEATH OF DENTISTS

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IT MAY SEEM RIDICULOUS TO MANY PEOPLE, (or maybe not) - but guys, I'm really in need of a gentle hand here!

I want to approach this topic in the most calm and sane way that I can, so I don't seem as irrational and crazy as I feel - I need to be taken seriously here! I have a cracked filling that needs attention. It does not hurt at all, but I noticed in late December that something felt stuck in between two upper molars, and I took a look in the mirror with a dental mirror and a light (I examine my teeth a lot) and sure enough there was a crack! It looks a lot more scary than it feels, in fact there is no pain. But food was getting stuck in it, and it felt weird to chew on that side - the only side that has a molar in that position (the one on the right in the same spot was knocked out by a punch years ago!
I could just leave it and hope that things don't get any worse, but my anxiety has reached a point that it is almost better to get it treated than deal with this level of anxiety (which is just as bad as what my fears are at this point) - I NEED that molar to chew comfortably because the one on the opposite side is missing. If I DO go to a dentist, he or she needs to be very, very accomodating, gentle, and sympathetic - and let ME make the decisions as to whatever else they find needs fixing! Guys, I'm really, really terrified! Be gentle with your advice on how I should approach this - if I had to have it extracted I would be devastated - it IS that big of a deal to me! I'm really in a bind, and I'm terrified!

Most of the time, dentists want to SAVE teeth, not EXTRACT them.

Since you are in no pain, I doubt that the dentist would advocate extraction. If you were in pain, he/she probably would recommend a root canal, rather than an extraction. Root canals themselves are painless once you get the novocaine.

More likely, he might try to get you to get a crown for that tooth.

In most dental offices they perform X-Rays. They put a heavy lead apron over you in order to take the dental x-rays. Other Aspies have said, that this weighted apron provides them a degree of comfort in the dentist office. It works similar to weighted blanket or Temple Grandin squeeze machine. So when you visit just request that they put on this apron while they are working on you.

I haven’t been to the dentist in over 8 years.
If I go back they’re pull all my teeth as that’s all the insurance will pay for and they rarely even wait to get permission.
I went in last time for a cleaning and they just pulled my tooth.

And they never give me enough pain meds.

You have really weird dentists.....why did they say they HAD to pull the tooth?

I've been to dentists---some with outmoded equipment, some with the latest in modern equipment. They always try to save the tooth first before they extract it---usually through a root canal.

You have Medicaid, right?

I would switch dentists, if I were you.

How many teeth have you lost?

A prime candidate for a root canal.....

I would try to avoid losing too many teeth. I would try to go to the dentist more often.

You have to advocate for yourself.

This is not the 19th century, when they automatically pulled a tooth when there was a toothache. There are many ways to save a tooth.

I would start a thread on this....and hopefully somebody like BlazingStar, who works in social services, could offer you good advice.

Ethical dentists don't just pull teeth just for the heck of it.

I had a dentist who demanded to take a tooth out.

He had Parkinson's (I think that's what it's called when you shake a lot) and should have been struck off but worked privately as an emergency dentist. I say he should have been struck off because if you can't keep a steady hand you're a scary dentist. I'm dyspraxic myself so I don't judge people with poor motor skills but I wouldn't allow myself around someone else's mouth with sharp objects.

However this is rare.

Most dentists will use numbing gel if you ask them, for an injection which itself is done in order to numb you (local anaesthetic) so you won't feel a thing.

The one good thing about this dentist is he gave me a general anaesthetic so once he'd injected my arm, I was asleep through it all.

If you're not even in any pain you're a model patient for going to them and they'll be very proud of you for going, especially when scared. They'll try to save the tooth, not extract it. Doesn't even sound that bad.

I'm not really the right person to be answering as the experience with this dentist left me pretty scarred. But if your teeth are as good as they sound from the fact you're freaking out from one bad but painless tooth, I wouldn't worry.

And it doesn't sound silly at all, most people are afraid of the dentist. Dentists know this and contrary to popular opinion they go into the job to help people so they aren't evil and they want people to be comfortable and have come up with a lot of solutions around this.

There are even some dentists who specialise in autistic patients.

If you are on Medicaid, it can be not all that easy to switch dentists, because their reimbursement is low. My daughter was told to use the low-income clinic. They did one extraction in a visit when they had planned to do two, because it broke during removal and they had a lot of cleanup to do. Then she got a dry socket (a side effect of extraction sometimes) that was extremely painful, and the dentist wouldn't give her any pain meds for it, just told her to use Tylenol and ibuprofen, which she was already using with no success. She was in terror about going back for the second extraction.

I have assumed the responsibility for her dental care and taken her to my dentist. He is not cheap, but he's very good. He gives her more novocaine than average because the other dentist kept needing to give her another shot. He did give her pain meds (narcotics). He said he would have saved the tooth that had been extracted, and instead of extracting the second tooth (that the first dentist planned to extract), he put a crown on it. They let her wear the lead apron during her whole visit, not just when being x-rayed. She feels much, much better about seeing a dentist now.

It sucks to be poor.

Sly, would you ever consider asking your parents to help pay for better dental care?

My daughter is autistic and has history of multiple concussions. She does a poor job of grooming, but I told her if she continues to let her teeth deteriorate, I will stop paying the dental bills. She now uses a high-fluoride, prescription toothpaste, and gets a fluoride coating at each cleaning. I don't know yet what is going to happen with her long-term - hopefully she can improve her dental hygiene.

edit: I asked Sly the question but I guess this also could apply to ShirtPuppet (the OP).

Would it benefit Sly to talk to his SSI social worker? Perhaps they can make some sort of referral?

Sly....I would say go to the dentist more often.....so you don't get in the situation where they have to extract more teeth. And have to deal with crappy dentist who would extract, rather than save, a tooth.

And brush your teeth often. Three times a day. Make sure you're thorough about it.

I would floss if I were you.