Self-hate and creativity

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So I've been wanting to start writing fiction for a while, as I was always good at it when I did it for school, but the thought of sitting down and writing something repulses me because it will be something that I wrote. All my self-loathing gets directed at whatever I write and I hate even having to look at it gets deleted. I constantly worry that anything I write will reflect aspects of myself I don't like--or worse: aspects of myself I don't like that I haven't even noticed yet.
I know what I write probably won't be very good, but that's kind of inevitable when you're just getting started, but that one top of my self-loathing has made it impossible for me to get anywhere. Anyone have any advice for getting started writing when you're terrified of what you'll see of yourself in what you write?

Maybe you could just get started and boldly look back on what you wrote. It might not be so bad. Maybe it just takes some getting used to. Like the first few times might be a shock but then after a while you will get used to it.

As for the self loathing, therapy might help. You could try going to therapy before you start writing.

Maybe you could write quickly when tired, such as just waking, and in first person.
My stuff only feels like 'mine' when it's published as I have a paracosm/maladaptive daydreaming and much of the time just write first person stuff about my character.
I don't think I suffer from self loathing but I do feel embarrassed after publication. It's a cognitive dissonance thing which keeps me pursuing it despite this, though, and the fact I get proud of anything which isn't new.
Also, don't expect to write 'a short story' or 'a poem' or whatever. Just write in a persona and see what comes out I hate writing short stories because I think lyrically, some other aspies are more linear and logic based and hate writing poetry.