My mother cares but probably no one else

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My mother cares about me a lot because I am her only son but I have no close friends I can trust. I am often drinking alcohol heavily because I feel bored with no one to do anything with. I am physically unwell at the moment. I don't seem to belong anywhere, I think I am drifting aimlessly from place to place.

Everybody likes you here, that’s for sure.

Thank you, that's a kind thing to say.

Offline I am really struggling to have a sense of belonging. I feel unaccepted by the people where I live. It seems everything about me, they don't quite take to. I did grow up a long way from here so I'm not quite like a lot of people here.

How old are you? I have an only child, a son. He’s 40. He has BPD and ADHD, possibly ASD too. We live about a six hour drive apart now. I was a single parent for a long time, so we were close. He’s married now, but I know he’s finding it quite hard to find his place in life too. He’s in a new town and has no friends there. I really can’t offer any useful advice, other than as KraftieKortie said you are liked here. Do you have any hobbies?

I certainly like you. It is great you know your mother loves you. That is a blessing. Not everyone does.

What is going on with your music?

Hi fifasy

I like you! I always enjoy our conversations and I feel like we could be good friends. I can relate to a lot of what you say on various topics. I have a very difficult time socially as well so I can understand how you feel. I feel badly that you've been self-soothing with heavy alcohol consumption because it's a depressant and unfortunately it won't help in the long run (but I'm not passing judgement -- just caring). I hope you spend more time on WP to get to know people better, so you'll feel more connected.

Hugs from Is

Sometimes I worry I annoy people so I appreciate your reply Isabella. Sending you hugs back. I'd like to be your friend.

I'm sorry you are feeling bad with that cold. When I am sick, it is difficult to stay positive, difficult to eat well, difficult to get in exercise, etc. I have pretty much decided that when I am sick, I have to let the other stuff go until I feel better. I guess that boils down to being kind to yourself. I sometimes let my music drop too; just doesn't seem right somehow.

I've never felt included in any group at all, regardless of the interest or how welcoming the group may be. I have always known I was different and I just don't fit. I think that is common to many of us here. WP is the first time in my life that I have felt, well, these are people like me.

For a cold, drink plenty of liquids (more important than food), stay warm, get up and around when you feel well enough and go back to bed to rest when you don't feel well. Although I don't like it in principle, I use nyquil when the symptoms are miserable enough. I don't know if you have anything like that in England.

(((fifasy)))

I can understand the alcohol dependence so well. Try not to judge yourself by nt standards, they have whole different stories than you. If you're not interested already, maybe you can get involved with a sport? It helps release endorphins and gets rid of boredom by working your body and mind.

Same with me. My mom is my only true friend. I was also into alchohol for a while. I drank because I got bored. It was a terrible waste of money. So I quit. I quit by just not buying the stuff anymore. Im trying to get used to being bored because I too have a hard time socializing. I dont know how other people do it. Its like they are magnitized to each other.

A while back there was a thread for us elder aspies, looking back, what would we have done differently. I couldn't really think of anything then because I was not experienced enough to make any changes. I had to grow into them.

But now, I can think of one thing I wish I had known because I think if I had known it ahead of time, I would not have wasted as much time as I did and get into the number of toxic situations that I did:

I wish I knew, back then, that my interests and myself as an individual are way more important than trying to fit in, be social, or trying to please others, or figure out a way to have others like me. (ie, what is wrong with me? what is so different about me, etc., etc.)

So that would be my message to you fifasy, if you possibly are more mature at 32 than I was, don't waste anymore time trying to figure out how to fit in. You are so precious just the way you are. Take the things you enjoy and pursue them as far as you are inclined to do and do not worry about what others think.