Noisy Neighbors ruining my life

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I've been living in the same downstairs apartment alone for the last 11 years. For the past month, the neighbors that live directly above me have been making all kinds of noise and it's been driving me absolutely insane. I'm hearing lots of pounding on the walls, stomping, furniture being moved, and really heavy objects being randomly dropped. Sometimes it's so loud it sounds like my ceiling is coming down on me. I have confronted them twice about this (very politely), and they agreed to keep it down. They said they have a 7 year old and that's probably the noise I'm hearing and that they'd tell them to go play outside. But nothing has changed. I've talked to the manager about this multiple times, and they said they'd talk to them. I found out that these are the same neighbors who have lived above me for a number of years, so it is extremely unusual that this just started up recently. They didn't use to be so damn loud all the time!
This has taken a toll on my health. It's really been stressing me out and triggering me. I literally can't focus on anything else when this happens, it's consumed my life. Luckily it does not affect my sleep very much as I go to bed really late and they shut up by then.
Last week, I had a complete meltdown over this. I was trying to enjoy watching a movie with my girlfriend. She's a neurotypical, and the noise doesn't bother her. She just kept telling me to ignore it and focus on what we're doing. I tried and tried but the noise just consumed me, and I just snapped. I got up and threw a bunch of heavy objects at the wall and screamed at the top of my lungs over and over for them to "SHUT THE F*** UP!! !" I started pounding the walls as hard as I could, and started crying uncontrollably. I literally reached my limit with this. This scared the s**t out of my girlfriend. In any case, The neighbors got a hint with this, as they all got up and left for a few days. It was quiet for a while, but I couldn't stop fearing the noise would return. And of course it has. I'm at the point where even if it's quiet, my brain is on full alert. This has stressed me out so much, to the point where it has even made me feel suicidal. I feel like my safe space, where I can go to shut out the world, has been violated and compromised. I've had to go out into the parking lot and sit in my cars for hours at a time in the evening just to get some peace and quiet. People say I should move, which isn't an option for me, as I am on disability and in low-income housing, which there is no way I could find elsewhere. I feel completely trapped. I've gotten other people I know involved, but at this point people are tired of hearing about this and think I just need to learn to live with it. I don't see this as a possibility.
I feel like I've tried everything. I even bought a pair of really expensive noise canceling headphones, which only works as a short term solution ( I can't wear headphones ALL THE TIME!) I just want to kick down their door and beat the crap out of these people. I can't stop obsessing over it. I really start to panic and freak out when I start to think this is something I'm going to have to listen to and deal with everyday for the rest of my life and there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
I recognize that apartments are noisy and that having people live above me naturally means there will be some level of noise. But I feel like these people push it beyond what is acceptable. I had a neurotypical friend over one day, and he agreed they were being way too loud. But other people said it wouldn't personally bother them. So I don't know if I'm just being too sensitive. I can't focus on ANYTHING. It just disrupts everything in my mind. It's literally made me sick on a number of days. People say I need to have empathy for them, I mean they have a kid and kids are noisy. I just don't have any empathy at this point. I simply don't care. They are not just disrupting my routine, they are triggering me to the point where I literally feel like I'm going to go insane. I've been pounding on the walls when they get really noisy. Doesn't help.
I brought this up with my dad so many times, and he finally wrote a letter saying he doesn't want to deal with this anymore and that I'm bringing him too much drama into his life and that I am not allowed over at his house anymore and that he can't help me anymore. I feel completely abandoned by him, as well as almost everyone else.

Just needed to vent.

Temple Grandin built a squeeze box for herself.

Perhaps you could build something that would allow you escape the noise? Maybe something with layers of noise deadening blankets?

I'm sorry this is happening to you. If you can't move I also feel bad for you that you feel stuck. I know you probably feel like (and rightly so), that you shouldn't have to alter your life in your own apartment to combat the noise, but would you consider buying and wearing something like this around the house?



I live in a house, but my family can often be loud (kids and dog) and I sometimes wear the above around the house. They're comfortable. I upgraded to some "gel" pads the manufacturer makes. I find whenever I wear them or earplugs when I feel the need to in public, that the sound of my own breathing calms me. To illustrate, stick your fingers in your ears and breathe in and out through your nose. That sound is calming to me and is a sort of "biofeedback" as I can focus on the sound of my breathing rather than external stimuli. The mild pressure they exert on my head is also calming in way.

Just a suggestion.

In time the neighbors will move away or their 7 year old will grow up and the problem will go away.

I wonder what is driving the 7 year old to make so much noise. That is not typical. Wonder if the child has problems like autism!

You hit on one of my suggestions, using sound canceling headsets.

When I built my house I packed all the walls and ceilings with fiberglass insulation. Insulation not only makes your house retain the interior heat/cold temperatures, it also sound deadens the structure. My house is extremely quiet. If your ceiling had been insulated, this would generally not be a problem for you. But that is probably beyond your scope.

The other approach is to relieve the stress that is built up in your body. This will help you deal with the noise. There are many types of stress. I suspect that one region of your body that needs some relieve is in your neck. The best way to relieve stress in this area is to scream as loud as you can. But it must be done in a socially acceptable manner. You should not scream at someone. I live in the country and my dog is a free-range dog. When it is mealtime, I call my dog, very loudly. My voice carries about a mile and echoes back to me from nearby hills. It gives me a sense of great strength, like I could split a mountain in two just with my voice alone. You might try howling like a wolf at the moon. There is a person on this site that howls at the subway cars as they pass by deep down in the subway stations in New York City. But there are other ways to scream in a socially acceptable manner. A singer can do this if it is a very powerful song. A barker in the county fair can do this. Or find yourself a soundproof room.

Find out when they sleep. Bang on the walls then, like once randomly every hour or 30 minutes. Eventually they'll move.

Trying it the legal way will take years to get them evicted. For them to get you evicted, they have to prove that you make noise, as you have to do with them.

I wish it was legal to kill inconsiderate people like that, slowly with a mini saw in a Dexter-ish way...

You're so lucky you have your own place. I'd love to have my own apartment.