Why does no one want me to have a relationship?

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auntblabby
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29 Jan 2019, 11:01 pm

Marknis wrote:
I've had a cousin tell me "You don't need a girlfriend.", two people on this forum say "Women don't deserve you." with one of them claiming I only wanted sex, and someone else saying there is a tiny chance I will go through life without finding someone.

there is nothing inherently wrong with only wanting sex, as long as that is plain for all to see.



shortfatbalduglyman
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29 Jan 2019, 11:20 pm

Marknis


the people that do not want you to have a relationship, do not control if you have a relationship

If you want a relationship, you should go meet someone

If nobody wants to date you, then figure out why



auntblabby
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29 Jan 2019, 11:24 pm

^^^ it seems the OP's problem is that he either can't figure out why, OR he can't figure out what women want and how to give them that.



Fnord
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30 Jan 2019, 9:34 am

auntblabby wrote:
^^^ it seems the OP's problem is that he either can't figure out why, OR he can't figure out what women want and how to give them that.
Either way, the blame is on everyone else.



blooiejagwa
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30 Jan 2019, 10:11 am

Marknis fingers crossed fr a good doctor n therapist fr u.
I can understand the built up frustration bcuz if u had the necessary guidance therapy n support fr ASd throughout
It wd be easier to find a way through the depression n anger n being overwhelmed at where to start n how to continue

Thats why im quite jealous of the kids who get a ‘high functioning ‘ ASD diagnosis now as there are more therapists support n general understanding n research done that is going to provide them the necessary stuff many of us missed out on

Also the negative feedback in real life probably confirms a lot of angst fr u

However there is still a way ! Even if the outcome is not Disney movie level happily ever after

Remember your continuum n milestones cannot be compared to ‘normal’ ppl
And their feedback as a result is largely misinformed
They r comparing to their own neurology n functioning n experiences

The ppl here are continuously sinere to u regardless of the sometimes mean tone you take towards them or some show to you
Overall everyone understands
Now its time to help propel that support to try n find real life help n support in the form of therapist and explaining in detail ur problems to someone trustworthy who cares in real life

And accept the feedback n ask fr mountains of help


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Fireblossom
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30 Jan 2019, 12:45 pm

TW1ZTY wrote:
In my defense I was not attacking anybody. I added a simple response to this topic and the guy who made it decided he didn't like my post and wanted to be rude about it.

I don't think I did anything to deserve being insulted.

But Mr. Banana is saying I should drop this.

Image


Hm? Is this the same dancing banana that I was unable to see in that another topic? :D



Marknis
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30 Jan 2019, 1:35 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Marknis wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
the army provided me a change of scenery, for better or worse, I wonder if the OP has considered trying it.


I never did. I was actually discouraged from considering it.

WHO discouraged you? and WHY?


Members of my mother's side of the family and some others for reasons like "The military is a meat grinder.", "George Bush is a war monger.", and that I was "too soft" for service. I've also read that bootcamp is all about crushing out individuality and turning one into a robot.

blooiejagwa wrote:
However there is still a way ! Even if the outcome is not Disney movie level happily ever after


Fortunately I am not brainwashed by Disney's corporatism. I just want to be able to say "Yes" instead of "No" whenever I am asked if I have a girlfriend. Even when I've tried not looking, I get asked that question and it ruins the day for me.



blooiejagwa
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30 Jan 2019, 2:55 pm

Hi Marknis I took several pictures from a book at the library that I am re reading in the hopes it helps me again. It is a compilation with many ASD writers- called Been there Done that Try this!

In fact these excerpts are of benefit to anyone with ASD
but i hope u go through them as i specifically went to the library and took pictures fr you.
Image

ImageImage
Image
Image


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blooiejagwa
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30 Jan 2019, 3:02 pm

Image
Image
Image


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auntblabby
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31 Jan 2019, 1:50 am

Marknis wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Marknis wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
the army provided me a change of scenery, for better or worse, I wonder if the OP has considered trying it.


I never did. I was actually discouraged from considering it.

WHO discouraged you? and WHY?


Members of my mother's side of the family and some others for reasons like "The military is a meat grinder.", "George Bush is a war monger.", and that I was "too soft" for service. I've also read that bootcamp is all about crushing out individuality and turning one into a robot.

if I could not be crushed by uncle sugar [what we called the army], then I am confident that you would not be crushed as well. oh sure, the drills in basic training will do their best to reduce you to hamburger, but they have feet of clay as well. the people who fought against them were the first ones out the door, thanks to those troublemakers, the drills mostly ignored me [other than making me do pushups until my arms were shot and screaming at me until I was deaf] and allowed me to pass when I most certainly should have failed within the first few weeks as I am about as military as a petunia. as long as you do what they order, even if you phuq up royally in the process they can't bust you for insubordination and chapter you. they want their money's worth out of you so they will ride your @$$ you until you pass go. I do not believe you are "too soft" for military service, they will toughen you up just as they did me. chances are they will make you very angry, as they did me. anger is cleansing, it chases out lots of other ill humors that bedeviled me at the time. I am still just as non-conformist as I was before, just as individual, and you will turn out the same as well. we aspies are tougher than we think we are. :idea: so I would not listen 100% to the people telling you these things they've told you.
p.s., at the time [1980s] autism wasn't as well-known stateside as it is now, so although my shrink said I was autistic he signed a psych waiver for me saying I would withstand military service, nowadays your luck may be different, it depends on your exact Dx.



sly279
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31 Jan 2019, 5:35 am

Atleast people here still like you marknis. I seem to be exiled from here.



Marknis
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31 Jan 2019, 1:37 pm

blooiejagwa wrote:
Hi Marknis I took several pictures from a book at the library that I am re reading in the hopes it helps me again. It is a compilation with many ASD writers- called Been there Done that Try this!

In fact these excerpts are of benefit to anyone with ASD
but i hope u go through them as i specifically went to the library and took pictures fr you.
Image

ImageImage
Image
Image


I saw the images yesterday but they aren't showing now.



blooiejagwa
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31 Jan 2019, 2:11 pm

Oh true. I wonder why. I hope these links work.
https://plus.google.com/116778942214783 ... g7V9DKzRvZ
https://plus.google.com/116778942214783 ... dXW9DJco4S


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Marknis
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01 Feb 2019, 3:10 pm

Thanks, blooiejagwa. I just hope I won't have to wait until I am 44 to say that my life is better.



Stardust Parade
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01 Feb 2019, 3:42 pm

Why does it matter how old you are? Why is having a gf the only thing you think about? Don't you have any hobbies to occupy your time? That might be part of the problem. I wouldn't want to date someone that complained and had excuses for everything about why they couldn't do something (you do seem to have an excuse for everything) and didn't have any hobbies.



Fireblossom
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02 Feb 2019, 6:39 am

Stardust Parade wrote:
Why does it matter how old you are? Why is having a gf the only thing you think about? Don't you have any hobbies to occupy your time? That might be part of the problem. I wouldn't want to date someone that complained and had excuses for everything about why they couldn't do something (you do seem to have an excuse for everything) and didn't have any hobbies.


He does have hobbies, or at least he used to, don't know if he does anymore. He used to play guitar and draw... but I don't exactly hear him talk about these things here other than the fact that he isn't as good at them as he'd like to be.

Markins, maybe this is part of your problem? You know, maybe you don't talk enough about normal stuff that concerns you when you meet women? I mean, if you see a woman and decide to try and get to know her, what do you talk about with her? I certainly hope it's not the same stuff you mainly speak about with us here, please tell me it isn't.