I feel really guilty about this!

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alexagirard98
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23 Jun 2019, 2:38 pm

I'm a 20 year old girl with Autism. I can't drive, so I take a public bus to and from school. At my school's bus stop, we have to wait in a really long line to get on the bus. Unfortunately, about 4 months ago, I started cutting in the bus line and getting away with it. My friend who also has Autism told me that i'm allowed to cut in line at my school, and I completely believed her! I truly regret my decision! I don't know why I got away with it! What I was doing was wrong! Do people just not care anymore? I started to believe my friend because nobody ever told me off for cutting in line. However, after a few weeks of getting away with cutting in line at the bus stop, I attempted to cut in line again only to have an NT girl yell at me "Hey! That's cutting!". After getting yelled at, I immediately apologized to everyone in line and went to the back of the line where I belonged, which is when another NT girl said to me "You do this every day!". I'm happy nobody called the police or anything, but I can't stop feeling guilty about this incident! I did something that genuinely upset other people! It has been 4 months since it happened, but i'm pretty sure those girls still hold a grudge over what I did. I haven't cut in line since! I have been going to the back of the line where i'm supposed to go. I don't want to be known as "the line cutter" or "the girl who cut in line" for the rest of my life! It was a simple mistake that I have definitely learned from! I was the one doing something wrong, not those girls! I just feel so bad! Despite my bad decisions, i'm actually a really nice and good person once you get to know me. I have mostly good manners and i'm really well behaved, and the majority of people who meet me actually really like me. I just can't stop feeling guilty about cutting in line at the bus stop! I was hoping I could reach out to fellow Autistic people to make myself feel better. Are there any other Autistic people who understand how I feel? Have any of you ever made a mistake like I made? Feel free to share your story so I don't feel so alone in this situation. Thank you! :)



Mountain Goat
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23 Jun 2019, 2:57 pm

You are a really beautifully minded, sensitive and honest girl. You are such a treasure. Don't be upset. Yes, I have many times done things I should not habe done and then I spend ages thinking about it... But the past we can't change. We may be able to explain things. It could be that your friend genuinely thought it was ok because someone may have told her it was ok. For example, I was told that those classed with a dissability can go to the front of a queue at theme parks etc. I am not sure if rhis is a good idea, but I do understand as some dissabled people may not go on the rides if they have to sit or stand in a queue because of the conditions they have, and for a few, this may include autism as a few people panic when surrounded near people. (For me, if a bus aas too crowded I couldn't use it. The queue can be a problem for me but it depends... Normally it is not too bad...)
So don't worry. You habe done the right thing. No one can do better then you have done, as when you realized you have done wrong, you have changed and put things right. :heart:

It would be hard to give an example in my life as there have been many, many times where I have made mistakes, and I may make many more. I try my best not to make mistakes, but in life they happen.

If only all people were like you! :) Keep being you and never ever change!


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Last edited by Mountain Goat on 23 Jun 2019, 3:00 pm, edited 2 times in total.

KT67
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23 Jun 2019, 2:58 pm

Depends where you are.

I used to get away with it because all the tall, fat people would push their way to the front and being short I could just weave in and out of people.

That wasn't a good train where people respected each other though. If people are respecting the queue, you ought to do that too. But if other people are being selfish, you be selfish back.



kraftiekortie
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25 Jun 2019, 11:50 am

You can’t be arrested for cutting the line.

If anybody called the police about that, the police would just laugh.

You didn’t do anything all that bad. Is there a way you could get there earlier so you can be in front of the line?

Please don’t feel guilty.



bobaspie2015
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25 Jun 2019, 1:24 pm

Good morning alexagirard98
I personalty think you are a wonderful person because you apologised and have chosen not to do any 'cutting' again.
The police will not even bother to come out to nab a person who has cut the line.
Guilt can become a snag in life if you let it .... so don't let guilt get control over you.
Please do look at your strengths rather than you faults. Everyone has strengths and so you do to.


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Don't let fear or insecurity stop you from trying new things. Believe in yourself. Do what you love. And most importantly, be kind to others, even if you don't like them.

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Forgiveness Is the Fragrance the Violet Sheds on the Heel That Has Crushed It.

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Joe90
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26 Jun 2019, 6:16 am

Cutting in line doesn't make you a bad person.

The others in the line will forget about it soon.

Nobody would have called the police for someone cutting in line.

It's not that big of a deal.


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red_doghubb
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26 Jun 2019, 7:24 am

Don't be rude just because the sheeple do it and seem to get away it. Hold to your personal integrity.



kraftiekortie
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26 Jun 2019, 7:44 am

I'm glad we're not living on "Animal Farm," and that we don't have to rely on the "sheeple".....