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I.miss this guy so much. he's not been in touch in so long and I don't know why. He started out too in my face and now he's gone and it hurts so much and I don't know what I did wrong.

I always do something wrong and I never know what it is. They always start out really into me and nothingbhappens. Nothing progresses.

I just keep getting hurt and I don't know why I'm never ever good enough.

What's so wrong with me!?

Crying...

Hugs . Sorry you’re hurting.

I see and understand how you feel.
But how do you know that it's got something to do with you? And if so, how do you know that it's that bad?

For one, it's important to know that the people who come off very strong at the beginning of a (potential) relationship tend to be rather on the unstable side of mental health.
That's not to say that everyone "healthy enough" never does this, but more often than not it's emotionally unavailable people (e.g. narcissists or people with avoidant attachment style), and usually, due to the mental instability, this behavior doesn't last very long into the relationship, it's more of a cover up for their relationship problems in order to get into one.
So, since such people will behave like this no matter who they're trying to woo, for these types don't really count as an argument for your self-loathing.

As for those who don't fit into that category, what makes you so sure that it's about you?
If I remember correctly, you don't have the most favorable view of your appearance; but if that were the case, then you wouldn't even get into these "flirting situations" in the first place.

So, how do you know that it's not something more simple that you're simply unaware of?

To be honest, since you mention that you get a lot of the unavailable types, perhaps you project an attitude outward you don't want to, rather than something being wrong with you. I say that because emotionally unavailable people tend to flock to people they feel comfortable with.
This is not to say with certainty that this is the case for you, but perhaps there is something to it because it happens relatively often.
Does that make sense to you?

hugs. we all have those, ukno. just let it wash over. more hugs.

I know how you feel, Hurtloam.

When I was 21, I met this woman. She had long blonde hair, was a university student, and was "all over" me.

We had many sexual conversations on the phone. We were seemingly very attractive to each other.

Unfortunately, after about two weeks, she just totally lost interest.

People are just funny sometimes.

We'll, it wasn't that intense lol

Hope you're feeling better.

It was actually pretty intense.....

But that's water under the bridge.

There was another woman who followed me home from work because she wanted to feel how I "felt" in bed. We had a couple of liaisons. She lost interest soon after. I was also 21 years old at the time.

People are funny

Ahh no. I was trying to point out the intense I meant was overly eager to help me buy a good mobile phone, sending me aryicles about handsets and links to shops lol, it was a bit much help, not sexy stuff. Overly asking questions and wanting my attention. Texting me about my social media ppsts and asking questions. Being a genuine nice guy not a nice guy tm.

2 options.

1. He feels safe and doesn't need to get my attention anymore. He knows he has it.

2. He lost interest.

No idea which.

Probably number 2 based on past experience. Men always lose interest in me.

I don't want to text him because I'm saving up conversation for when we see each other again. We have lots to catch up on.

I miss him. It's pathetic.

Saving up conversation?

If you miss him, text him.

Hmm. Is this an age thing? I'd rather talk in person.

Also, I want to have things to say in person so it's not awkward. Often I struggle with small talk. If I gave small talk prepared it makes conversation easier for me.

I prefer texting. Most our generation does and the younger ones more though they use snap chat more I guess. All the kids my sister over see use snap chat to communicate.
You can even text a lot of employees now , sadly not mine .
Maybe you’re older and spirit? Our parents generation prefers in person. I know this guy from work who only does phone or email. I dont know how to talk to him, email takes longer and I get anxiety about phone calls. So I well haven’t talked to him except few times we bump in at work but he’s leaving so i dont know what I’ll do.

Saving up conversation makes you a bit stingy doesn't it?
Like saving your best dinnerware because you're afraid it'll get broken, but you also don't get to enjoy it very often.

i try not to go into a conversation with a friend with a script, because I end up not really listening to them.
I don't think conversations ever really go to plan anyway.

Interesting perspective. I've never thought of it like that.

Maybe when I start to fall for someone I stop being my true self and I do try and act my best. I was saying in another thread that I don't know how to mask, but maybe I try to and do it badly. Hmmm.

I found the only woman on dating sites so far that was potentially compatible with me.l, and the only one I've gotten a convo going with.

She's just vanished now. Doesn't come online any more. Undoubtedly found a more interesting guy.

It's pretty painful getting that spark of hope only for it to be snuffed out.

That's rotten. You can't even find out what happened.