Mixed feelings...

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I have plenty of people telling me that I am being too stressed out by my husband and he needs full-time care and stuff, but I feel like I am still responsible for him... It is kinda "peaceful" and I'm catching up on cleaning the apartment, but the little old lady across the hall was pretty upset when I told her what was happening... When I mentioned I might someday have to move to find a job she said "please don't move away, I will cry!"

I know I cannot please everyone... But seriously I feel like I have to but in these situations I always will pick pleasing others over my happiness...

I'm reminded of that line from an old Ricky Nelson song: You can't please everybody, so you've got to please yourself.

There's a lot of truth to that. Everyone has to do what's best for themselves and their life trajectory. It ain't always easy, though. I definitely understand your feelings. I've made decisions to please other people, and in the end, it hurt myself.

First thing I want to say is, that old lady's remarks are a sign of affection. You should be pleased that someone would care if you move.

Second thing I want to say is, regarding your husband and long-term care: it doesn't necessarily have to be a terminal placement, maybe it's a month of really careful monitoring and treatment of his conditions. And it's not necessarily abandonment, you could plan to spend a lot of time at his bedside.

I hope these alternative viewpoints ease your distress a bit.

Yeah, the lady's become quite attached to me... she even bought me a sandwich today out of the blue... Anyway I can't visit him over the weekend because the bus doesn't run, i gotta see him again on Monday.

My girlfriend cant put herself 1st & says doing what's best for others is what's best for her because she'd face consequences from other people & that the guilt she'd feel would be worse than the sacrifices she makes. From what I see other people like to put a lot of pressure on her & make her feel guilty over things. She cant really set boundaries with others. I'm not sure what if anything I can really do about this to help. I just try & take care of her as best I can & push for her to take care of herself when it's very necessary.

You can't please everyone. It's physically impossible.
If you want to be supportive, you need to be stable yourself. Taking care of yourself is taking care of the ones you love. At minimum, it's taking weight off them.

Somebody else mentioned this---I think it was Bea Arthur:

Think of it like being on a plane that's going to go down in the water.

You have to make sure you get your oxygen before you can give oxygen to someone else.