I feel hopeless

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I dont know why I keep going. I never get to have love or relationship.
Life is empty and pointless for me.

Are you self-improving? Are you working out every day?

Working out every day is a MUST, as it improves every facet of your life by making your brain much sharper, making you physically more attractive is just icing on the cake.

Women are like happiness, or like cats, if you pursue them directly they will run and slip through your fingers, but if you pursue them indirectly you will find that they will find you. Meaning, the more you focus on yourself and improving your stature/lot in life, the more likely they will come to you.

Also, the less you dwell on self-pity, the less self-pity you will feel. While you self-improve spend more time with your male friends and keep your eyes ahead of you. Do NOT stew in self-pity, it will kill your confidence and a male with strong self-confidence is like a drug to women, they will find you irresistible.

*big hugs*


working out is a good idea

My cat loves when I pick him up. He cuddles into me. If I call him he’ll come running over .

Hugs
I don’t enjoy working out . It takes too much time, hurts and drives me crazy cause how boring it Is.
it won’t help me either. Even if I was fit I’d still be poor and ugly. Income is what matters most for dating and relationships and I’ll never have a good income or car

Nothing worth achieving has ever been achieved without pain.
Man is both the sculptor and the marble, he can't recreate himself without pain.

It takes about one year of working out before you begin to enjoy it, I was complacent and lazy throughout my 20's, and it led to my own destruction. It took hitting rock-bottom with my dog of 15 years dying of cancer before i finally decided, I was either going to kill myself or I was going to self-improve like nothing before.

I chose the later, and today I am very much enjoying life, I can't wait to workout each morning, when I'm hitting the weights and treadmill my mind gets ultra motivated and I feel incredibly sharp. This feeling lasts throughout the day, it's like "Watch out world! I am coming", it feels incredible.

After workouts I take a cold shower. Cold showers after the initial shock are very enjoyable, the same premise is true for working out. You just have to keep at it with the confidense that there is going to be a pay-off. There WILL be a pay-off but your brain doesn't think so.

Part of being an adult is bringing our brains (which constantly insists on the easy feel-good route) kicking and screaming to things that it doesn't want to do, being a man is about taking up this responsibility with a strong sense of duty and confidant air -- this is the masculine spirit and essence that women find intoxicating about men -- not boys, boys are complacent, but men are proactive. Hence you have to transform yourself, even if you're alone after the transformation, you're going to be feeling so good and confidant about yourself that you don't care that you're alone. That's how powerful it is.

Here is a quote for G.K. Chesterton that you should pay heed to:



You really don't need a lady, you need to hit the gym, form a decent circle of guy friends, work on your wit and humor. Push defeatism away and watch a transformation occur.

All it takes is one year of consistency working out, and trust me, you will thank yourself for doing so.

Don't give up.

Ok since this is a single guy thread, I feel the urge to post a reply. First of all Sly, I agree going to the gym or whatever is time-consuming, boring and can cause physical pain/fatigue (esp if you're not doing it right or over a long enough period of time, i.e. just for several days as opposed to over weeks and months or longer). When I was in high school and ran track and cross country, I always hated when we were supposed to go to the gym for all those reasons. Looking at some of the pretty attractive girls in the school working out at the same time was one of the few pleasant things about it (also still a reason to join a gym or something now if you're able). I'll add that if you're really poor like me, you can't afford to do it either. What I mean is you have to be able (for starters) to afford decent athletic shoes, possibly the cost of a gym membership (at least the YMCA or something if anyone still goes to places like that anymore, I don't know b/c I'm kinda old) and/or access to at least to some weights and/or other fitness equipment. I have a woman friend who's in a similar situation to me and somehow still does it, but she's alot younger than me and honestly I dunno how she manages.

I also agree about often feeling that my life is pointless, empty and other negative s**t, a big part of it being b/c I've only ever been in one (abusive) relationship and that was like 20 years ago back in college, plus one other "one-night stand" w/a friend 5 years ago. It often feels like I'll never f*****g meet anyone, especially given my life situation. Dating now is also f*****g harder for millenials and Gen Zers than it used to be for Boomers and alot of people in my gen, Gen X b/c of a long list of reasons. Some being the sh***y precarious economy people have to work in to survive nowadays, the whole nature of social media, its huge image-consciousness orientation and competitiveness (the same is true about the offline world too), definitely the difficulties those of us on the spectrum already have just communicating with and making friends w/people of any gender (male, female or otherwise) let alone finding a partner, etc.

All that said, however, Opposum makes some good points. Working out can have all the positive effects he mentions. And most women, as far as I know, do prefer confident guys and working on self-improvement can only help you in every area of your life, however you do it (whether or not you work out). Though I'd never compare women in general to cats or any other animal. His point about self-pity is also right for the most part, it will kill your confidence and you're probably better off focusing on the friends (male or whatever gender) you have and yourself than just "wallowing" if that's the right word.

Still, I sympathize w/how you feel and your situation, given that as I said mine is similar. It's f*****g hard for anyone to find a good/compatible partner, let alone someone on spectrum, whatever your gender.

Awesome post. Totally agree.

I don't agree about cold showers though. They're f*****g torture, esp in the winter. lol

My cat was my salvation when I was deeply depressed.

Opossum, are you me?

I’ve been posting ~the same advice for the last handful of years.

Great post indeed. I suspect it will be more appreciated by the ones who already went through this than the ones who would actually benefit the most from your experience.

I agree about the gym. I've been working out for 18 months now and the difference is incredible. In my case I have perfect 100% motivation... I have a neurological condition and if I don't work my leg muscles I'll end up in a wheelchair.
Not easy, though. You have to look a year ahead and keep at it... and you end up enjoying it... never thought I'd ever admit that. The self- confidence and feeling of well-being is worth it and it helps beat depression.

Now....that's incentive!

I'm glad you're keeping on top of things, Trueno.

I'm not one who believes "the gym" is a panacea which will guarantee that men get chicks. It certainly wasn't for me. I was no more appealing during my days running marathons as I was as a fat slob during previous years.

But you have an excellent reason for "gymming." And I commend you for that choice.

It doesn't necessarily have to be a gym, it can be running or practising a sport or whatever keeps you interested. And it's not necessarily "to get chicks" either (it can be a side effect), it's an investment in yourself as you'll be the one who benefits the most from it. I had the fortune in my youth to have an older friend who warned me that the way I treat my body in the first half of my life is the way my body will treat me in the second half. Turned out to be the most useful piece of advice I ever got.

No doubt.....that's pretty much what I meant. I should have stated it more explicitly---like you did.