turning 22 in june

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already have the birthday blues two and a half months in advance.


22 whole years old and i have nothing to show for it. no accomplishments. haven't even left my folks home. which i've lived in since 2003. i am utterly and completely trapped.

my life is halfway done and i wasted it on the internet.

i have no passion for anything. no career goals in mind. nobody cares about what i do.


i don't know what i want to do in my life.


i don't know where to even begin getting my s**t together.

will die young, too, so that doesn't help. i always thought i'd die young.
regularly vacillate between feeling lonely and not wanting anything to do with anyone. the two feelings are irreconcilable.

and to top it off i am still obsessing over that girl.

what do i do?

dam, i remember feeling exactly this way a year ago.


nothing has changed has it?

Theres nothing wrong with taking it easy in your early 20s. You probably should make plans for the future but very few early 20 year olds have there s**t together

i could die tomorrow.

then what?

Sorry missed that part

I don't know how to answer that

Then what, what?

That's why they made the Movie called "It's a wonderful life" about the guy who thought he was a complete failure and no good to anyone. You may have saved someone's life without realizing it.

a lot of us trigger about birthdays. me included. we share the feel of no use, we share the feel of self abuse. only that i am 31 and i do have dreams, but i keep destroying all my meager progress, and i really know i'd never reach a goal. and then i get up and get through another day. and another one. things wont change, unless u change them. and u might be very suprized just how many people actually care about u, while u just dont see it. because all u see is black. because it is much easier to focus on bad stuff. on loss and despair. and fail to see the glints of light.

Why do you think you'll die young?

I feel the same way. 23, haven't achieved a thing in my life. No friends, never been on a single date before. More importantly, nobody cares one bit even if I do achieve something or how I feel.

Complete waste of a life. I should have killed myself years ago.

When I was 21 or 22 I received a message using an Ouija board that told me I would die at the age of 32. It's amazing how much I have changed since then and how many things that have happened I never would have imagined at that age. I had always figured I would have a short life so it made sense at the time because it was the sort of thing that aligned with the bias I held at the time along with magical thinking. There isn't that much left of that 22 year old. I did a lot of introspection through my 20's and 30's. The good news is you're young and have a lot of time to figure things out Kip, ask yourself how many people have figured everything out by the age of 22? You once said you had passion, where did it go? Why can't you find it again?

Inspiration, what inspires you?

I guess I have it easy because I have never expected to achieve anything. Having friends, going out to places, being in a relationship, having a career, accomplishing this and that is for other people but not for me. I eat, sleep and seek recreation. That's it, that's what life is mainly about far as I'm concerned.

(hug)

I can't really say anything wise for you. The roller coaster of my life had some peaks resulting in people believing I was successful. But I can't carry on.
I have my achievements and now I'm burned out.

Hugs for you. Do whatever you please and find out something awesome

You've been an adult for only 4 years, do you think everyone has found a house, got married, had kids, found a career, all in those first 4 years of adulthood? Think again.

That was me most of my life. I did want a romantic realtionship after my 1st one fell apart at 20 & did want a job but I had little luck with those things for a long time & wasn't sure I would ever have any luck. I only worked about 38 months & I didn't get my 2nd realtionship till I was 28 & my current one at 29.

we don't know when our times up all we can do is make the most of the present