Map84 wrote:
Hi,
I do make eye contact a decent amount nowadays. However I find it very disconcerting with strangers when they are walking past me, for example on a small street, if they smile or say hi then that's ok, but I'm left cold and puzzled by the ones that stare blankly into my eyes. I am able to hold this for a second before looking away, I don't know if they also look away, to me it feels like eye contact without a smile is like some sort of aggressive move? I'm in my 30s, it's most commonly guys that do this from 20-40, I'm unsure if that makes any difference?
I'm in /from the U.K., I spent some months in Croatia, where eye contact with a stranger on the street is respectful, I found this simple because its an easy rule to follow, I was told whilst there that many Brits and Americans find that unsettling, but I don't understand what it translates to here, in the western world when such a thing happens?
Maybe if I don't look at them then they don't look at me?
I had to check your username to see if I had written this post, because I have the EXACT same problem as you!
I find it very difficult to make eye contact with passing strangers. I never quite know what to do. If I look at them quickly, I think that I might look twitchy/nervous, but if I force myself to actually look at them I feel like it might look like I'm staring. I know what self-conscious feels like, and so I don't want to go making other people feel self-conscious. So I tend to avoid eye contact altogether when passing a stranger, which still feels awkward because it's like I suddenly become conscious of where I'm looking, and don't quite know where to look. I feel like people might
want me to look at them when passing, as most NTs (or those without social anxiety) seem to automatically make eye contact as they pass each other. I've noticed it when walking with an NT friend or relative.
What gets me is I often see passing strangers (particularly women aged between roughly 16-69) stare at me in my periphery. It disturbs me how people can stare at me when I'm not staring at them. So I'm even reluctant to look straight ahead as I pass somebody, because if I see them staring at me in my periphery I get even more frustrated.
_________________
Female