My Mom won't Stop Bringing up Grandkids.

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Okay, I know- very well am aware- that my mom wants grandchildren. There's me then I have two other sisters who I believe would be much more responsible in taking care of kids. Me, however, well...I can't see it in my future. There are a myriad of variables that go into why I don't want kids (i.e I don't like kids, anti-vaxxers taking over, our world population is increasing and creating scarcity of important resources, etc.). I've told this to her, too and explicitly described my reasoning. I'm not afraid to say why I don't want kids. It's the truth. And I believe that my other sisters will raise kids of their own, so she can be a grandma.

I don't know, I don't see myself raising kids. I'm not good at taking care of myself let alone a small human who requires much more maintenance. I wouldn't be a good role model either...
But it really puts a lot of pressure on me when she brings up grandchildren. It makes me feel really bad. I wish I could give that to her, but it's not in the cards for me. I'm not motherly. I just feel like I'll never get married and I'll never find someone who will wants to procreate with me (again, not like I'm yearning for it). But some days, I wish I had this mindset for that motivation to be a wife and mother. I'll probably be alone for the rest of my life. It kind of scares me, but I can't help the way I am.

PS: not sure if this belongs in this forum. I guess this is just a rant of some sort. The subject does bum me out a bit.

For me, it isn't that I don't want kids, it's the idea of being a first-time father in my 40s (I turn the big 4-0 in December).

Obscurelex, have you tried telling your mother you think the other two daughters would do a better job? And asking why she doesn't lean on them?

Have you talked to your sisters about this? Are they older or younger than you?

I’m lucky that my parents haven’t brought up the idea of grandchildren. I’ve told my mom that I don’t want kids, and I’m repulsed at the sight of babies. I don’t have any siblings, so it’s all on me if the family lineage is to continue. I also get the feeling that my parents know I’ll likely never find a girlfriend anyway.

Well, I wouldn't say my mom doesn't pressure them as well. I tell her all the time that they would be better mothers than me. I've even discussed it with my sisters. I am the middle child, the youngest 2 years younger than me, then the oldest is 3 years older than me.

My mom never brought up this subject.

Actually mom never brought up the subject of marriage, as if she realizes that I am not good enough.

It was my dad who was used to complain about it.

My mum just thinks I should be a hermit and shouldn't want people in my life. Nice knowing she's completely out of her mind. Wish I wasn't raised by a crazy anti-social, autistic mother and an incredibly shy, spineless, alcoholic and gambling addicted father. Really gave me a good start in life.

My mother was more successful in persuading me to have children... only now I realize how much of it was her, not me.
So here I am:
* married - to a fellow nerd - that's actually not bad, not only I love my husband, I also like him
* two children - checked
* burned out and mentally ill because parenting turned out to be way too much for us - checked

It's all the same for me except I never even told my parents I didn't want kids. Nothing has been talked about. My mom used to joke that I'd have be euthanized after her & dad would die cuz I cant take care of myself so it wouldn't make much sense for her to expect me to be married with kids

When your mother hints about grandchildren, she may not be saying "She wants grandchildren". It may have nothing to do with a need for children.

Rather she may be saying something else. She may be saying that she cares about you and your wellbeing. There is a natural order to things that have existed for thousands of generations. It relates to getting married and having children. She may be advocating the tried-and-true roadmap that has been passed down to her. Marriage offers a shoulder to rest on during difficult times. The mother-child bond should not be underrated. It is a very powerful force. She may be expressing fear about your future if you do not follow the normal flow of things.

When a parent starts nagging about grandchildren, it is to fulfill the "Parents' Curse", which goes something like...

"I hope that you have children of your own someday, and I hope that they will be just like you!"

It's to give the grandparents the opportunity to gloat. "Now you know what you put me through!"