I don't want to be anywhere

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I'm wide awake in bed at 2.33 am

I don't want to be here. I want to be asleep.

I hate my job. But I've hated every job I've had.

I hate being at home alone. I hated having a room mate.

I'm unhappy every where.

I'm so sick of life.

I just wish it would hurry up and be over.

I wrote a thread about feeling old, but I have another 30-40 years left and I don't know how I'm going to push myself through.

I'm struggling just to push myself through every day just now.

I'm actually on holiday. I'm tired. I've done enough sight seeing. I want to go home, but I know I won't be happy at home either.

Sounds to me like you're dealing with depression. Are you getting any help for it? Some people do very well with treatment, others not so much.

I've suffered from depression on and off since I was a teenager.

Yes I'm slipping back into it.

I'm going to the Dr as soon as I can.

My last antidepressants had horrible side effects do I stopped taking them.

I wanted to speak to my Dr about it, but our doctor's surgery has this stupid call back system where you phone for an appointment, the Dr phones you to see if you're worth seeing and then you can get an appointment.

I waited for the call all day. He finally called me at 7pm when I was in the showed and couldnt answer.

I was feeling happy anyway. I thought I was in love.

So I just went cold turkey.

That was 3 months ago.

My issues are circumstantial. I'm lonely and I crave affection.

The pills just mask that and help me function. Which I suppose is better than nothing.

I hate being unlovable. I hate how my generation of men can't commit.

If bad thoughts hit you, never stew on them, KEEP ON THE MOVE.

No matter what. Keep moving, if you can't go back to sleep, get up, move about the house, do something else and then try to go back to sleep shortly after.

If there is something small you can do, do it. do NOT stand still and stew in your thoughts, "but I can't do it", baloney, there is ALWAYS something small that you can do at any given moment, be it taking a walk, taking a shower, doing some cleaning, etc. Don't listen to the stubborn brain.

If i am fatigued I would take a small nap, if I feel stressed I would either work out or take a shower. In life we have to have an arsenal of responses to our negative behavior at our disposal so that we can learn to conquer ourselves, each time the brooding begins think of it as an opportunity to master yourself and the stubborn brain that we all have. It is a very very stubborn thing.

But at the same time, take things easy, it's okay to make small baby-steps, which is why I say if you feel like you can't do anything, try to force yourself to do something small, as it helps you build momentum to get things really going again and get your thoughts off the negativity, remember that we become what we think, so have good thoughts.

Just take it easy and relax in your smallness, you're not going to get everything done at once, in fact you don't need to, moving slowly and steady with a patient heart is a great character trait, so just take it easy and find somethign to captivate your thoughts, get a jigsaw puzzle, solve cross-word puzzles, etc. Reclaim your brain, but whatever you do, do NOT stand still and stew, as that ALWAYS turns into bigger problems and character flaws down the road. Nip this thing in the bud!

I can relate to the loneliness issue. I live alone, because I don't like dealing with other people, but then I get lonely being by myself.

On the romance angle, I want a meaningful relationship but rarely meet anyone I feel an attraction to. Sometimes I feel ok with not being in a relationship and having no prospects, sometimes it feels like a crushing weight around my life. Right now I'm in the rare period where I'm actually attracted to someone and am terrified of being rejected or screwing it up.

I truly believe no one is unlovable, but for some of us finding love is hard.

Thanks. I'm stuck in a hotel room right now and dont want to wake my friend up.

You know your friend better than us, but there are a fair number of people that would like to be woken up if a good friend of theirs was struggling like you are.

Sometimes it's ok to say "I'm hurting and need support right now."

Honestly, I'd be flattered if any of my friends were comfortable enough coming to me for help when they were struggling. None of them ever do. To be fair when I was really struggling I didn't go to them either.

Hugs
I feel similar.
Where’d you go on holiday? Is the hotel room nice ? I’ve never been to a hotel

You can start over because you're worth it, I can't say he is, perhaps if he was able to give you a heartfelt apology? I hope he comes to his senses and understands he hurt you. I wonder if he understands he hurt you. I would hope his apology would go something like this.



Good communication is very important for a healthy relationship, no matter the type. Have you communicated your feelings to him that he hurt you?

He knows he hurt me. And yes I've told him that I'm hurt and why exactly. He has said sorry.

We have no relationship there is no need for any further communication.

So he is no longer your friend?

I'll pm you

It's O.K to feel 'I don't want to be anywhere' , don't beat yourself up for feeling this, it's a normal reaction to bad circumstances for a lot of us.

You are seeking professional help which is good - that is the only other advice I can offer.

ok, look this is a hard time for u. and to some of us, all the life is a hard time, except exceptions. some of us are allergic to sun, so we stick to the shadows. i am currently balancing on a border of getting mute so my writing sucks. message u should be getting, i feel for u, i relate to u, i wish u to feel better. every night meets a dawn. even a polar one.

Do the job that is the least wrong


Take life one day at a time

I am sorry that happened to you, HurtLoam. You are not unlovable, it just that you have yet to find the right one for you.