Amity wrote:
I try to be kinder to myself, to balance out the building negativity. I do some things I enjoy, baths, massage, being outdoors being with animals, more so of late I've been considering returning to yoga to help with mind body regulation.
Once i recognise what is happening it can feel like I've been hijacked or manipulated by something inside of me, so I tend to be distrustful of my emotions, as I'm not myself. I rely on rational thought as much as possible, though that also becomes unreliable if the anxiety/depression really takes hold. At this point I need to rely on others to 'reality test' as Kraftiekortie (Hi there) would say.
When my working memory starts to decline I'll go to the doctor as a minimum, and if i have the funds I'll organise yet more therapy.
I'm starting to recognise that I've stored physical memories in my sympathetic nervous system, as I have unresolved traumas that typical talk therapy and medication can remedy temporarily but not completely rectify.
These physical sensations are triggered quite easily it seems and as I understand it now seem linked to the anxiety=depression cycles I go through.
Mentally I might be in a good place, but spiral significantly when unrelated small issues trigger these physical memories.
I think its possible that people especially undiagnosed adults on the spectrum will have a higher than average share of these physical memories.
I really like practicing yoga and taking long walks. I find both of those things somewhat helpful. I also love taking long baths. It’s really relaxing. I think those things help a lot with anxiety, but I’m still not where I’d want to be... I really am trying to avoid making a whiny post (not that there’s always anything wrong with that).
The idea of physical memories intrigues me. I’ll have to look into that.
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“The darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.”
— from Four Quartets by T.S. Eliot