I don't see a way out of my rut

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I truly do not see a way out of the rut I am in. Whenever I try to engage in social interactions, I am always anxious and the conversations always fizzle out no matter how hard I try. Whenever I try things others suggest to me, I am always blindsided by something that I am unprepared for and I strike out permanently. I am hated by others on sight just for existing. So many doors have closed and locked in my face and I am not getting any younger. I am not anything special. I was born a damaged being into a sick and backwards culture.

I suggested it once before, but I think the only way out of your rut is to move. It won't be easy but it will substantially change the equation of your life.

You keep referring to the "sick and backwards culture" and "the vile belt"

Moving might be the only or best method out of the rut

It might be too expensive or logistically impractical

But it might be the only option

A rut is not necessarily such a bad thing



For a long time I have been stuck in a rut


No job and no friends


But I don't live in "the vile belt".

In "the vile belt" maybe things would be worse for me

Any hobbies you may be able to share with others? It may be a way to share conversations as you have an upper hand to be able to share information.

Do you feel that everything should always be plain sailing and easy to be any good?

In reality, the best things are worth fighting for.

I'm lucky to have had a bit of arragance instilled into me by my parents. Even when i was depressed and lonely I believed that I had strengths and I just had to find the right people. I always fought.

I moved to the city and there are so many other oddballs who have moved here from all over the world that I've finally managed to make friends.

I'm still the person who organises all the social things to do, but at least Ive got people who will consistently say yes now.

Wow that’s some good advice. I would consider moving to the city if it weren’t for the crime. There seems to be more diversity of people there.

Mark I’m surprised you never got into Kurt Cobain. He hated where he lived growing up. Hated rednecks, macho men, sexism and racism. He thought he was ugly and had trouble with women. To bad he killed himself. I didn’t think he was ugly. I wish more people would be into nirvana.

There might not be a way out

There might be a way out that you don't see

Some things are worse than being stuck in a rut


For a long time, I have been stuck in a rut

Accomplishing nothing

Which is bad

Compared to some things

But there are worse things

Sounds pretty hopeless alright.

I think it would be a good idea for you to move away from the area where you live.

Than do something about it. Complaining about it will accomplish nothing.

As bad as it is, it's what you know and it's your comfort zone. You can tell yourself you want to get out of it but something stronger inside prevents you from doing anything about it.

Maybe you could get your head around setting aside a month to go a bit crazy and just do something or go somewhere and see what happens but in the knowledge that you can return to the safety of your rut for the rest of your life afterwards. Something might happen though or you might feel different as a result of a new experience.

I am familiar with Kurt Cobain. Nirvana are actually known even in the Bible Belt. Some rednecks like grunge bands, hard rock like AC/DC, and metal like Metallica or Pantera but think anything outside that is "gay" or "weird".



The rednecks here claim they hate the city but they still come here because Walmart isn't out in the country and neither are porn magazines.

Yeah Kurt said the type of people he hated started coming to his shows.

Don't assume all cities have a high crime rate. In some cities (such as NYC), crime rates have gone down dramatically over the past couple of decades. I would suggest that you research the crime rate trends of particular cities you are considering moving to.

So you live in a city? Then hopefully there should be ways you can find SOME people who share your interests and don't drink -- you just have to figure out how to find them.