Odd behavior

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Im actively trying to get a boyfriend. Stopped and thought about it today. Thought, you know I am pretty wierd. Im used to doing things the same way every day because of my autism. I also do things like rinse my mouth out with water after coffee, mostly to get rid of bad breath. I have to do that every time or I go nuts. So if Im with a guy at the mall, Id have to go all the way from one point in the mall, to the other end where there is a bathroom with my empty coffee cup, so I can fill it with water and rinse my mouth. And the guy would have to sit there waiting for me each time. It is so hard to persue a man, with this odd behavior. There are other things about me, I just need things to go a certain way or its like Im being tortured. I also feel ugly and not cool enough to date attractive men my age. So, will this fear and uncomfortableness go away when I get to know someone? My last boyfriend didnt care about my quirks, he had his own too. I feel like I will never find anyone to understand me again because of my autism.

My armpits tend to stink when I wear sleeveless tank tops. I only apply deoderant once a day. Cant afford to slather it on many times a day. Applying it twice probably wont help anyway. It seems to be comming through the deoderant. Worried a guy wouldnt like my armpit stink. Maybe Im not ready for another boyfriend yet. It has been like almost 10 years since my last relationship. If Im not ready now when will I ever be?

When you find the right man, he will love you when you are at your worst, and he won't care if you are the smelliest stinkiest girl around. He will love you regardless. He won't care how you will look or smell or how many little quirks you have, because he loves you.

That is when you know you have a good man.

Wow that's a good way to put it. Maybe Im worrying because Im interested in the wrong type of guys. Or because I barely know them.

Dating is for getting to know if the two of you are compatible with each other. Enjoy dating. You may date many. You may find the right man first time. There is no set rule. Don't blame the ones who are not compatible as everyone is different. Just be yourself and enjoy!

Your quirks and mannerisms aren't that bad or uncommon...I always brush my teeth after coffee and my armpits stink, too. Like Mountain Goat said, the person who loves you will love you for you. As the old saying goes, "those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter".

I think I found a fix for the smelly armpit problem.

Deodorants always gave me a problem. Not only were the scents bad; but they never worked on me. It doesn’t help that Aspies tend to perspire more than NTs. Deodorants are designed to mask the smell; not neutralize the smell. So in my case I made my own deodorant. In a small jar, I combined baking soda and coconut oil and mixed them together into a paste and then added a few drops of lavender essential oil. This mixture kills the bacteria responsible for the under armpit odors. It means that I can go for several days without body odor with just one application.

One small jar will last around 6 months.

My problem is that I don't like the sensation of anything on my armpits, much less slopping some kind of gel or salve on them. For the most part, I used to just not wear any...thankfully I'm not *that* bad, so I can get away with it if I wear a jacket or something, but it's impossible during the summer not to notice if you stand next to me. Now I wear it whenever I have to go out.

Yay, I'm gross.

I still think dating is all about numbers and luck. We need to meet enough people.

Perhaps try modifying some of the more inconvenient habits --- have a water bottle, change rinse and spit to rinse and swallow --- you're not cheating or lessening, simply modifying. Or modify your perspective: normalize it --- well, of course you go and rinse after coffee (wouldn't everyone if they took the time?), ask your date to take a mall walk with you... then he just waits outside the bathroom.

Date "unattractive" men. My sister was only going for tall guys (and finding herself in abusive relationships). My dad suggested she "lower her standards" and - lo and behold - she met her husband. (It's a family joke now.) My brother-in-law is short, bald - and "otherwise" handsome.

My NT husband liked me because I was "different" (who I am). Your partner will too.

Hang in there. Wishing you find your match sooner than later.