It Hurts Too Much

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Hi, all. Never posted here before, and, after a horrifying experience on another forum, I don't have high hopes.

I'm socially-isolated, and no one seems to want to be my friend. I'm a graduate student in a program with a bunch of neurotypical extroverts, many of whom know about my diagnosis, but don't care one bit about me. None of the men I date or talk to online are interested (been ghosted/rejected more than I care to admit), and I find my thoughts going to dark places lately. I have no family, friends, or acquaintances with whom I can talk. I think about suicide a lot. Being ignored and disregarded is hard.

I went to an autism support group and mentioned feeling isolated, and everyone suggested the same kinds of things therapists have suggested--Meet Up, finding like-minded friends, and so on. The problem is that I simply can't relate to most people. I can't connect with them. And I'm a bit agoraphobic, so I only leave my apartment when I have to.

It hurts so much. I don't know what to do anymore.

I have the same problem. I get out lots but it doesnt seem to help. People have tried to be my friends but I was either too shy or they didnt seem trust worthy. Now Im alone and aint no one wanting to be friends. Maybe we're too shy. Too quirky.