I feel so hatred of my ASD

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I'm sick of hearing about a link between autism and serial killers. I've just been looking up about a serial killer who actually murdered 2 people in my own city, but is locked up now, and I just wanted to find out how long he had been sentenced. Apparently it's a life imprisonment, thank God. In the description, it said that he claimed to have voices in his head telling him to commit these murders, but the court psychologists said he didn't, but then 4 court psychologists were positive he had autism spectrum disorder.
So that's ANOTHER serial killer said to possibly have autism, and this one is right here in Essex. It's scaring me. And people wonder why I don't want to tell anyone about my ASD. This is why I'm in semi-denial about my ASD. Sure, I've been coming here for the past 9 years posting about myself as an Aspie but part of me still hangs on to that tiny bit of hope that I may have been misdiagnosed. And that is why I get depressed when I make a social faux pas or do something that is typically Aspie; I beat myself up about it and try to find other reasons why I made the mistake or performed the behaviour, because I just can't happily accept myself as a person with this condition that the media associates with serial killers.

Sorry, I'm just freaked out right now. What can I do?

It is very sad and scary, Joe. Do you think many of these killers actually have ASD? Not that it matters, if that's what the public thinks. I ask because I recently heard that many people with fetal alcohol syndrome get diagnosed with ASD, since there are more services for people on the spectrum. I wonder if these court psychologists felt an ASD diagnosis would benefit this individual in a similar way.

I hope you're feeling better.

I hate it, I just f*****g hate it.

I doubt very much that people equate people with "autism spectrum disorder" with "murderer"----unless those people are nuts themselves.

People will believe it though. Once BS makes its way into the media, lots of people will become brainwashed by it and believe everything they hear. Then another sicko will go on a killing spree and then claim they have autism in court, which will be in the media, until they can use all these serial killers and school shooters as "evidence" to put a seriously harmful stigma on to the autistic community. It doesn't take much for these things to spread around. People will view autistic people as "angry loners with no empathy and are capable of killing". I'm afraid. I wish I had downs syndrome. I'd rather be mistaken as stupid than as a potential murderer.

I wouldn't want to have Down Syndrome for the following reasons:

1. Reduced lifespan----though getting longer all the time.

2. Congenital heart problems.

3. A great potential to get early-onset Alzheimer's.

4. Being scorned for my appearance.

5. Almost always below-average intelligence.....though it is sometimes very mild. It can be severe, though.

6. Usually uncomfortably overweight.

But don't autistics have most of those, according to this site? "Aspies have distinct facial features", "Aspies are more likely to be overweight", "Aspies are more likely to get Alzheimer's", "Aspies have shorter life span than NTs"? And every other health problem known to mankind somehow correlates with autism, if I search this forum hard enough.

I have read a few books on criminology, as well as a book or two on serial killers.
As well as the original book called Mind Hunter and the 1st series of Mind Hunter.

The book being written by one of the people who was instrumental in the development
in what is now called behavioural science, subcategory of forensic science.
Originally called Serial killer profiling. The author of the book was the first person to come up with the term,
serial killer. just out of interest.

The series is very interesting and fairly entertaining too.

And i have to admit that from a fair amount of reading, i have never read that their is a correlation between ASD and serial killers. This may be because the condition is fairly new in terms of disability and understanding.

There is more evidence to suggest that there is more correlation between serial killers and brain damage to certain parts of the brain that deal with decision making. That is, at least in the classic interpretation of the term "serial killer",
which originally not only referred to a person who has killed more than one person, but who is compelled to kill more without other significant reasons.

The definition has however changed considerably, in that now most people regard any one who has murdered more than one person a serial killer, which is not entirely accurate, as those who murder for other reasons are not serial killers but mass murderers. For example. Hit men and gangsters who kill for money, are not serial killers but mass murderers.

Then there are also people who murder because they are driven by their beliefs. An example of this are people who are black occultists who murder because they hold delusional beliefs that they gain some imagined power from the act.
In such cases, then sure, they are serial killers.

However, the level of mental illness involved may not be as significant as those who are truly delusional and driven by delusional thoughts, as in some of the earliest documented cases of serial killers, which include some extremely disturbing and hair raising exploits which i will not describe here, as some of the things that these people have done would upset most people.

I think that in the cases where people are driven by delusion and compulsion, even though the acts that they commit may be horrific, i can understand to some extent that they are not driven necessarily by conscious thoughts but by compulsions that are out of their control and because of this, i would argue that they should not be put in normal prison where they will be punished and treated inhumanely, but should be housed in a special prison or given the option of lethal injection, as they are ill people who are dangerous. Rather than people who choose out of conscious thought to be bad and dangerous.

It is sad, and unfortunate. But true. Mistreating and punishing people who are delusional is ignorant and solves nothing, but makes someone who already is ill, even more ill and damaged. As they do in many US prisons.
I can only hope for them and the rest of us that reincarnation isn't the truth, as these people will be reincarnated even more damaged than when they were put in prison.

Thanks

Worrying about how other people perceive you is a complete waste of energy. I can't tell you exactly how to stop doing it, because I don't remember how I arrived at that point, to be honest. It just sort of happened sometime in my early 40s. Not giving a f**k what anyone thinks of you is one of the most liberating transitions a human being can have.

Q1: "Aspies have distinct facial features" A1: Nope. Not necessarily. there is no Autism Look.
Q2: "Aspies are more likely to be overweight": A2: Nope, you may be confusing this with being born premature.
but this also needs to be a factor along with other factors such as family genetics, your lifestyle, diet, exercise!.
Q3: "Aspies are more likely to get Alzheimer's" A3: Not necessarily although anxiety and clinical depression are precursors to Alzheimer's, ALzheimer's if thought to run in families, not necessarily families with ASD. Inconclusive evidence as they say in
Q4: "Aspies have shorter life span than NTs"? A4: I think that the answer to this relates to social isolation, as the statistics indicate that lonely people who are socially isolated have higher mortality rates and there is a higher rate of suicide.

With regards to the other information, please keep in mind this forum is forum for people with ASD.
And not a website that gives a database on medical information as it relates to people with ASD.

I know, I agree with you.

Humor: Most Presidents of the US are left-handed and if one supposes most serial killers are ASD ---- then where am I going to fall? (as left-handed and ASD). Wait a minute, wait a minute --- both those choices were mostly male. So what of left-handed women and female ASDs? and left-handed, female ASDs.... who were strawberry blonde, what of them?

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