do you think this is right?

Post Reply New Topic

its a long story but i will shorten it up as best i can...

yesterday i had been working on a project of mine all day (it needs to be done by thursday and there is a ton of work to do), my brother got home and tells me he want to work on his car, he says his water pump is bad. he asks me to move my truck, i tell him no, i dont want you leaking on the driveway. may seam unreasonable but just 3 days prior i had spent a few hours cleaning his oil stains off the driveway because after months of nagging he never did it himself. so he asks why and i tell him. he says he needs to use the driveway yet wont tell me why when i ask. i tell him to just do it on the grass its no big deal, and its not. he gets angry and threatens to pull my truck out but i just kept unhooking the strap before he got into the truck to pull it, this is somehwat comical to me but makes him very angry. he makes a huge scene in the yard, yelling and screaming like a child, but i am persistent in refusing to move my car. i continually try to calm him down but he refuses. he shoves me several times and i restrain myself from getting physical in hopes that if i do not,i wouldn't look like the bad guy. so then he slashed my tire, although this made me extremely angry, again i control myself, i did'nt want this one to turn on me like always. he calls my mom frantically and starts yelling some chatter i couldn't understand. at this point he is running around like a mad mam, threatening now to dent my truck with a sledge hammer in his hand. eventually he goes inside, I am somewhat calm now so i go back to working on my project. now my mom calls me to yell at me, saying how i should have moved my truck, saying i am being an a**hole. she tells me that if i do not get my new tires mounted by Monday, then she's sending me home (not paying rent for me to go to college) she says Im wasting all my time on this project (complicated), that i am putting things off for it and that it needs to be taken away. i overheard my mom talking with my brother on the phone later and she seemed calm with him, in fact she said slashing my tire serves me right, they talked for a while and i couldn't understand most of it.



now today my mom calls me yelling at me that i need to fix my truck next week or she again she'll send me home. i tell her i'm too busy with my things and that i can do it next Monday, until then I'll roll on my spare. this infuriated her, she calls me some names, tells me I'm the most selfish person she knows, because i couldn't move my ruck for him. no one cares about you or your stupid project.

I just don't know why i get treated like the bad guy in this situation, was not letting him use the driveway such a big offense that i deserve this? how could everyone be so angry at me for this, i just spent an hour in the hot sun putting a spare on my junk in the driveway and my brother doesnt even offer to help? i think i would at least feel bad if i cut someones tire would you?

i just dont get my crazy family.
mind you I'm 21 years old and live with my brother in an appartment my parent pay rent on.

by the way, im not mentioning what the project is because its not relevant, just know its special interest related.

Your brother's behaviour is criminal! You were being perfectly reasonable and he was completely and utterly out of line.

I can understand you not wanting to make a bad situation worse, and I don't understand your mother at all, but anyone would simply report him to the police for behaviour like that.

Budgenator is right about your brother's future prospects if he continues to behave like this.

Wow, and I thought my brother was an a$$... Your mother should make him buy you new tires. You should call the cops on him next time he does something like that. If you let people treat you like crap even once, they're never gonna stop doing it.

what he did was wrong and he probably knows that, but was it really worth all this trouble to not move your car? it would have probably been alot easier and less time consuming to just let him use the driveway to fix his truck and not worry about his stains. he's not worried about them so why clean them? i would have just left them there if the landlord wasn't complaining. they'd fade eventually on their own. knowing you and your brother have a hard time getting along it would probably be a good idea to extend the olive branch and let him have some things his way especially when it's obvious how important it was to him.

well i would be the last one to care about a stained driveway but the renter complained and is going to check the place out next week, he expects the driveway to be clean. i already have a new set of tires in my garage, i just haven't installed them, still i don't have the time for this crap and now i need to waist a day on mounting/balancing and alignment. and its not like I'm paying a shop to do it, I'm doing the work myself to save money.

if it weren't for the fact that im constantly cleaning up after him around the house i may have let it slide alos, but it just gets old doing so much for him and only having him be an a**hole to me all the time. its like living with a child, he doesn't care about anything because he knows i will just do it for him because if no one does it, my mom goes off the handle.

now i go to try and mount my tires and find out i will not be able to until next week. this makes me furiouse because on friday i need to make a 200 mile trip with a 10,000lb trailer and i'm not comfortable without a spare. so i call my mom to tell her i cant do it and she gets mad at me, i tell her how mad i am at my brother and this just makes her angryer, she said that i shouldnt have put it off and its my fault and for some reason she says "your an evil person, your mean to people and thats why no one likes you"... i think she must have talked with my brother earlier or something? i need to stop talking to her because it just makes me so angry i want to kill someone, its not healthy.

I'm so angry i dont know what to do, it seems nothing can calm me.

I feel for you
I'll skip the whole analysis of events and just say,

That is so messed up!

If people were to get all mad at me like that, I would wind up taking perverse delight in deliberately enraging them further. "Yeah, Mom, I'm evil, but you're the one who gave birth to me, so what's that say about you?" or "Really? Evil? God, melodramatic people run in this family!"
NTs like to laugh at the aspie having a meltdown, which makes it 10x funnier if an aspie pushes an NT into a meltdown. Oh, the irony!
Granted, your mother holds your education above your head, so I say, stay under the radar until you don't need her anymore. Then, when you're free from them, let loose on how you really feel.

i just cant handle dealing with my mother. i just lie to her and say everything is alright. she clearly doesnt realy care, any time i need help all she is there for is to yell at me for doing wrong, make fun of me, and tell me im a bad person. she doesn't accept me for the person i am and wants me to change yet thinks she doesnt need to change herself. at least i try to be normal...

First off call the cops on your brother. This will teach him to think before he acts whether it be by a fine or small jail time.

And if you dont dare talk to either your mom or brother by yourself send me their numbers, Id like a personal word with them after this mess.

That's not right at all. It seems that your dad has a lot of issues. Depending on your age, maybe now would be a good time to move out. If you're under the age of 18, maybe keep your distance from him until you can move out.

Well, you're technically being reasonable, but an NT person is gonna look at getting your driveway a little messy as no big deal because generally most people don't care.

A water pump is generally a simple fix if you know anything about cars. If it really does concern you ask him to layout flattened empty cardboard boxes under his workspace. At the end of the day anything leaking will just be absorbed and contained on the cardboard, it can be discarded. You're happy, he's happy.

Wow. And I thought my family was weird .

I admit, I would've called the police on your brother, since he was completely out of line, and as for your mother... Wow. I mean seriously, WOW. Get your qualifications and run as far away as you can!