I need to lie by omission online

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Does anyone else have to do this?

Essentially if I tell people everything about me, my demographics etc, nobody likes me online. So I have to lie. I got a reminder of this today cos people were angry at me for having English relatives.

I have this ideal world where we accept people based on that kind of thing by default and only hate bullies and bigots.

Does anyone else have to do this? You don't have to give egs if you feel the need to do it on here.

Just feels like everyone has to be in a little box whereas in real life people accept that things are more complicated than that.

Is this hating people based on this stuff an NT thing? Why are people like it? I genuinely don't understand it.

Not really, it's more of a human being thing.

Human beings are tribal. Some more than others. If you don't fit into their "tribe" (whatever that may be) they may not accept you.

I don't know what kind of online thing you are talking about, but it's very typical for people online to be nastier than in real life. It's much easier to treat someone as an other if you can do it anonymously.

Some people are more accepting than others, but it's not an NT thing. It's human nature.

I don't have a tribe though. So I'm always going to not fit in anywhere.

No one likes liars. There is a difference between lying to protect someone or their feelings and just lying to deceive people. No one likes deceitful people.

There is also a difference between changing some details about yourself to protect your identity. Lot of people do that, they will go by a fake name or their middle name, they will even change their location by a few miles, change names of people they are talking about, and even say instead of saying an incident happen in march, they might say it happened last month. Anyone with a brain would understand this and not see this person as a liar and untrustworthy.

I don't see the point in lying, I just stay quiet about things. I don't think being vague is also lying either. People who lie always get caught.

Look at Rachel Dolzel for example. If she had only kept it at letting people think she is African American but she said nothing else, that would have been okay but I don't think that is what people were mad about, she lied about her childhood and about her family and her mother finally outed her. So my point is people could be mad at you about lying about yourself, not because you have English relatives. Rachel is probably thinking people got mad at her because she isn't black. No honey, people are mad at you because you lied about your childhood and your family and made things up. No one cares you are black skinned and had it darkened. I doubt anyone would have been angry if you told them you had it darkened. Only an idiot would be mad because they thought you were truly black and they assumed it by the color of your skin.

I didn't lie though. I just didn't broadcast.

Cos as soon as I broadcast, that happens.

Yes I have 7 different nationalities in my family, should I really tell everyone that? No. I tell them it if it comes up.

Only aspies are that pedantic about liars, most people are pro lying to keep the peace. But I'm aspie so I feel bad for doing that.

Most NTs are also super tribal and it matters a lot to them that someone fits a box.

This is exactly what I did.

What kind of online thing is this?

And how do you know people don't like you? How do you know people were angry at you for having English relatives?

I value my privacy too much to link it or quote word for word. But basically I said 'my stepdad is English and likes cricket, never had a proper team or anything just played cricket and watched every sport but mostly likes cricket. Slowly he's becoming interested in Celtic because I'm into it. I'm the most fanatical football fan in my family except my dad who's not really family he's just blood'

They downvoted that.

Tribalist mentality.

Or they hate me for hating my dad. They really don't need to know the ins and outs of that one.

I should've just stuck with 'my dad taught me to love Celtic and hate Rangers cos of our heritage'. That's both true AND easily understood by everyone. Best thing my dad ever gave me was a football team.

Do you have an allegiance to a sports team?

Okay so if this is something like Reddit then just about everyone gets downvoted just because the people using Reddit are kids who can hide behind their screen and be idiots. Getting a down vote means literally nothing.

It's like on Youtube if you post any sort of video, even something cute and adorable, you can bet someone will downvote it.

You can't take stuff like that personally. It doesn't mean anything. It's just strangers pushing buttons.

A number of years ago I was attending a little CB eyeball gathering about a mile away from here. My brother took his motorbike and fixed a large silver rod arial to a fencepost with jubilee clips, and at the time I had an adults tricycle. Now I regularly rode it up and down this hill to get home (Uphill) and it is steep. A 1 in 4 in places, and quite a climb. But for this one event, from the house to the eyeball place was almost falt. Not quite...
Now my brother said "Do not tell anyone where we live". This is a general rule with eyeballs for security. Now this one man was making a big thing of me arriving on my trike, and he started telling everyone about the hill. Now that day I had not cycled up it. I didn't say I had or had not but he said "And you cycle up that hill?" so I was able to truthfully say "Yes". (As he did not specifically say the word "Today".)
Now at the end of the eyeball, my brother invited him home. He called me a fraud.. I started to tell him but he wouldn't have it.

Now situations like that I hate as I hate hiding truth for other people. It always leads to trouble. I am too open.

If people don't like you for having relatives of ANY nationality, I think you must be hanging around odd people or misunderstanding/misinterpreting their reactions.

And no one can control their demographics...I'd rather tell the truth about what I choose to post and have people not like me, than have to pretend to be something else. I can understand your need for privacy and not over-sharing, but why lie about anything you have no control over?

Last edited by DanielW on 27 Jul 2019, 2:18 pm, edited 3 times in total.

I would have to agree with Luhluhluh on this.

Lots of idiots in places like Reddit.....

Well yeah, if you know me at all then you know that.

They're Rangers fans on a website which is known to attract idiots. I'm just going to ignore it. Gonna stay away from looking at votes for a while, those votes mean nothing and I place way too much value on them because my anxiety means I struggle with getting value internal validation and rely too much on external.

And yes, some Unionists they are if they can't accept people from other parts of Britain Although I've known irl staunch types who hate the English cos they think the COE is Catholic (it isn't).

Well, you have at least one tribe.

Tbh they said things about people of 3 nationalities on there. Nobody seemed to match up to what they wanted. Probably deliberate.

I fit my tribe offline better than online but I still have a tribe everywhere.

My sport tribe offline is very specific. One CSC. Probably that way for most people. People probably weren't evolved to fit with loads of people but just with a few like that. That's probably why I can only really think of a few people on each site I go on and they're the people who interact with me most, usually the people I like the best.