I Hate Living With Asperger's So Much

Post Reply New Topic

I apologize for posting here so often. I recognize that I may come off as a typical angsty teen, and that may be a fair assessment, but I have a lot that I need to get off of my chest. I hate how complicated I make everything. I hate how I can't approach friendships or relationships in a non-logical manner. I hate how I sometimes feel that everyone that I care about secretly hates me because of how weird I am. I hate how anxious I am and how easily I get flustered over the smallest things. I hate how being sad or bored seems to be my base emotional state. I hate everything to do with Asperger's. I wish that there were some way to fix all of this. I want to be neurotypical and to live in a world that actually fits a person like me. I'm so frustrated all of the time and I don't know what to do.

I was in the same position as you were when I was 17 and even tho I am only 4 years older than you. I can tell you its possible to make progress, you won't be 100% fine but you can become greater than what you are right now. What helped me was beginging to work in jobs, starting doing Tinder and starting Community College when I was 19. As time went on, I have gotten more experience in social interactions, social situations, and life in general. Of course, you need to put in the effort but there is hope. I am definitely in a better position than what I was before.

I know how you feel, OP. I feel the same about my Asperger's. I've hated it from the start and I hate it now. I've always wanted to be neurotypical. God, if only there was a cure.

I feel the same way. I always wonder how my life would be without it. I'd probably be in a happier place, surrounded by friends and excelling educationally. But because I have Asperger's, I can't keep a friendship and don't know how to be in a relationship. I also have extreme anxiety and depression because of it. I hate it so much, I just wish I could be neurotypical. There's so much I should be doing right now with my life, but I choose to stray away because I'm so afraid. I'm afraid of everything. I feel like I don't belong here on this planet. I really hope you somehow find a way to manage your life with Asperger's.

Aspergers is not so bad in some respects. I just got confirmed diagnosis at 46 and it explains a lot of my actions/inaction as a teenager and young adult. Finding the right job is life enhancing. Working alone ideally or perhaps with older people? Most of my friends when i was in my 20s were in their 30s or 40s. It made me subconsciously fit in more as i genuinely wasn't wanting to 'get off' with girls - especially in public - or go clubbing. I found bars and clubs really disappointing until i was inebriated substantially. Music has to be good so this usually takes you to the better (non cattle market) type clubs. People are meaner too when younger. An aspie's obvious awkwardness can attract nasty bullies. I am glad i'm not NT in many respects. I cannot stand Saturday night television shows, inane shite on the radio, small talk, popular music. Being an aspie justifies my complete intolerance for sensory invasions such as these examples. I notice stuff with numbers, i get great pleasure from music, travel, solitude others may not get. Being a father is fantastic too. Aspergers is not that bad. It can be good sometimes. Reading previous posts made me want to write this. I hope it doesn't piss anyone off?