Hope everyone is doing well, it's been a while. I'll make this post as short as possible ( more than likely it won't be ) but I'll be sure to include the important details
I have a ( distant ) family member from my dad's father side. It's my grandfather's nephew, a few years older than me. ( I'm in my early 30's ) We've connected through fb, most of that side of the family didn't know I existed because my estranged relationship with my dad / aunts / uncles etc. For a year now we've been catching up on things learning more about our family history, whereabouts etc.
Now here's the bad part. I'll just name him " Ralph " or " R ". He's cool, we have great times hanging out and everything. But when he gets upset over something that's not even that big of a issue. His mouth gets very dangerous. I'm not talking about the following
- F you
- Go F yourself
- Go to hell
( He's been to jail for assault, tried looking up his arrest record but I'd have to pay, even tried having a convo with our cousins, but they don't deal with Ralph for years for his outbursts )
The stuff he says always includes violence, for example. His current living situation is living with a family friend ( My late great uncle's ex wife son ) they've been friends for a long time. However he has a health condition that I'm not sure of but he's not able to really do for himself, not as mobile as Ralph.
Now I'm just being random with names, trying to be careful to give them names that don't sound like their names because you never know who knows who and who's online. So I'll give the family friend the name " Marty "
I don't know much about Marty, never met him. Only know of him through various family members including Ralph.
Marty has had numerous of health issues, recently had a major surgery ( Don't know what ) and pretty much knows he's not going to be around to much longer. He's not really close to his family, he's only close to Ralph, and other family members of mine whom don't know much about it
Pretty much, Marty needs a caregiver. I'm trying not to be bias to what Ralph tells me because it's only his side of the story. Ralph always talks about how filthy the house is, and how dirty Ralph is.
Not too long ago when I was hanging out with Ralph, he was acting paranoid, like Marty was hiding behind the bushes stalking us. ( he looked very OFF that day, I don't know if he was high, or on some other s*** ) clearly Marty was home recovering from surgery. ( I told my therapist this and she thinks Ralph suffers from Schizophrenia ) Ralph has already admitted to me he's bi polar........................ I've dealt with alot of friends, family members that are bi-polar and I'm not trying to compare and contrast. But I'VE NEVER WITNESS any of them being that hostile. So I'm just going to assume he doesn't take his meds, or he self medicates with drugs, or had another underlying mental issue
So back to the story, something happened at their house, a argument happened. Ralph went off. He was saying a lot of crazy crap like
- I should come over there and cut you
- I should set you on fire
- I should suffocate you while you're sleep
and a whole bunch of other stuff he was saying, it made me feel uneasy. I kept telling Ralph it's not worth doing that and going to jail over anything like that. Then he tells me that Marty is used to him talking like that. Then a hour later they act like they're best friends. I don't get it at all.
Marty's family don't visit him as often because they really don't care too much for Ralph. Which I totally understand because they've called the cops on Ralph over his behavior a few times. There's been a few times where Ralph has tried to go off on me like that. But not to that degree, because I shut him down telling him that if he ever threatens me I will report him to the police and have no problem doing so.
Ralph has had a falling out with his immediate family, which is my distant side of the fam. He's told me they all suffer from bi-polar. But I find it very hard to believe that their mood swings are that violent. Because honestly they don't really interact with him like that. As time goes by I can see why . . . .
I've distanced myself from hanging out with him going to bowling, family gatherings, simple hang outs etc because I don't want to deal with his mood swings. I feel bad for Marty because he seems like a good guy, he's never met me but the fact of someone being treated that way knowing that they have a health issue that really restrains them from defending myself. But I can't feel too sorry for him because he knows what type of person Ralph is when he gets upset. It's Marty's house and he chooses not to put him out. I'm not sure if he's scared to put him out because they got into a really bad physical fight. Or if he just loves to be miserable
So because of that I had to distant myself from Ralph, other family members that deal with him. Because I told myself if he ever talks to someone like that again and I'm there to witness it. I'm reporting him
I would try to talk to my Aunt about it but she doesn't really know of me, and she's one of those types she's not computer savvy. So if I was to email her on FB, and because I'm not her friend. It would go to the 'other' inbox and not to her direct inbox.
Then my other option is to report him to the cops, but I wonder if they would keep my identity a secret. Because I don't want the crap to hit the fan and have everyone realize that I was the one to report him
Lastly, I don't want to get a phone call from someone telling me that a tragic incident happened between those 2.
But once again if he comes at me like that like he does with Marty, I don't have a problem with calling the cops and telling them about the threats against me.
07 Sep 2019, 2:57 pm
