Two voices I keep hearing in my head

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Poor child, brought to existence for such a reason!
Please, be wiser and make sure if you ever have a family, that you love them for the sake of the persons they are!

I sometimes get asked if I want children and it tears me up inside because it’s another reminder of how different I am from other people my age. If I do ever have children, it won’t be any time soon since I can’t even get a coffee date and I keep running into women my age who already have a boyfriend or are married.

I would certainly love my children and not brainwash them with Bible Belt stupidity. That would “stick it” to my redneck stepfather. He is also upset that I think Arabic and Asian women are more attractive than redneck and general Bible Belt women are.

Just don't listen to your stepfather's opinions about women. His opinions are just misogynistic and sexist. In fact, it seems as if at any given opportunity, he wants you to be just like him.

Maybe start asking yourself "is it true? Is it kind?" about those intrusive thoughts. If the answer to either of those things is "no," then consciously think of at least one true and kind thought to replace it. Over time, that should help retrain your brain to jump straight to the good thoughts.

It may also help if you take a break from that message board for a while. And since you probably can't avoid your stepfather, perhaps it would help to read some more moderate Christian opinions so at least you don't let his bigotry cause you problems with Christians at work, etc. because you subconsciously associate them with him. Maybe C.S. Lewis would be good...he was highly educated and grew up atheist or agnostic. It's easy to become polarized, but not always helpful. Just a thought.

A third voice has formed in my head and it keeps telling me I am missing out on opportunities for relationships all the time and by the time I will actually be ready it will be too late because the opportunities will be gone. It’s also telling me the fact I still can’t take charge of my life at my age means I am a failure as a human being.

Are these Voices in your head, actual "Voices" as in "Hearing Voices?"
Are they your own thoughts/voices, or are they heard like they're someone else's voices?

Have you told your Therapist about them?

I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing this.

The voices sound very negative and demoralising/critical.
It sounds really distressing for you!

I really wish you could afford to move.

I hope you find a way to deal with these negative voices, so that they don't dictate your mood and your life, as much.

You really deserve the best in life!

I can kind of relate to your situation. Many of my relatives are staunch conservatives and Trump supporters because my parents are from small towns in a southern state. Some of them have no qualms about displaying the Confederate flag. When it comes to their politics, I usually just try to ignore the opinions I don't like.

I am not suffering from auditory hallucinations. My mind just brings up things they have said or are likely to say. My stepfather’s voice is coming up again since my cousin just informed me that he can’t take me to a music show in Austin that I’ve been wanting to go to for a long while now.

This sounds a lot like me when I used to hear my mothers voice in my head whenever I would try to take something new on. I would hear her nagging in my head. It would make me give up on things. It didnt go away when I first moved out. In fact thats when it was at its worst. But it went away after a few years of being away from her. I also remembered the mean things bullies said to me in school. That made me give up too. I had mental problems at the time.

Mark what if you're currently having mental problems?

I’ve suffered from depression since 2006 and I feel stress as well as anxiety on a daily basis so I wouldn’t doubt if these things have caused me to have mental problems. It’s also probably why I struggle so much in the things I wish I was good at like music and drawing.

I also feel further and further away from having a girlfriend even though I am back in college and I attended a depression Meet Up event. 13 years of this constant emptiness and hopelessness is actually making my head hurt whenever I think about it.

How can I change my thoughts to where my outlook is that things are still possible?

One thing I’ve heard is when you have a thought like this, acknowledge that you’re having it, then tell yourself you’re thinking it but don’t let it go further. I get stuck in the repetitive thoughts and it makes me angrier and more bitter. But when I throw a wrench into the repetition to break it up, it helps. It takes practice.

You will have opportunities for some time into the future. I currently have opportunities. I found that I'm not socially incompetent, just socially 'slow'. You may find that the more time you try to socialize, the more you will 'get it' in your own way. I was incredibly awkward socially in my teens and 20s. It didn't really improve until my mid 30s. It continued to improve until my now-ex caused things to regress for a while. Things are now snapping back since she has moved some distance away. Don't give up on yourself.

I am like you in a way. I always feel a need to prove people wrong. But sometimes I have to face the fact that there is nothing i can do.

From experience, the suggestion I can speak of is 'being burned by your own flames'.

Knowing the flame and the fuel is one step, acknowledging it is also one.

Yet purifying yourself with it (so to speak) is another.
It can be scary, it can make one react badly, but it can break your repetitive negative thought cycles once you're able to catch on. By controlling the flint that lits it, by mitigating or controlling the fuel itself.


What I meant your own flames, I meant your anger, your frustrations...
And the fuel I meant the triggers and the source of those anger and frustrations. It may include your own wanting of unfulfilled desires and priorities that might've gone out of proportion.

One doesn't have to prove others wrong -- that's one hint. This doesn't mean you stop succeeding, this simply means you focus somewhere else in order to succeed.
The desire to prove anyone wrong means you're taking the bait, or taking it as a bait by making statements into a fuel. It also means you're also keep litting those flames into the fuel. One can acknowledge the fuel, and when you figured you can choose not to lit those flames with it.
And think that proving them wrong would make those 'voices' disappear? Not really... It'll be replaced with other statements from 'can't do this' to 'don't deserve this' to 'never be enough' -- it'll be still 'there' even if one proves those voices 'wrong' unless you're able to let go of it.

Meaning because they're not your own life boss.

Unless you wanna remain that as your goal motive for however long you like, it'll become more of a choice to make once you're able to catch on. And when you do, don't feel ashamed. Because a good fraction of people may take a lifetime figuring it out.


Yes, the posts I write can be confusing. But it's the best description I got for now.