Younger cousin getting married

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I recently spent time with some of my family members who I don’t see very often. Among them were some younger cousins who I’ve known since they were children and their father, one of my older cousins, mentioned that one of them was getting married next month. This ruined the entire event for me and was yet another reminder of how far behind I am socially. I can’t even get a simple coffee date and someone who I knew since she was in diapers is getting married.
Being an older single is not “sweet”. It’s pathetic.

If my younger cousins knew about my singlehood at my age, they would probably think I am a loser and maybe even a “creep”.

Dude, lots of people are single at your age.

Just be happy for your younger cousin... and if you can't, do skip the wedding if you're invited since it wouldn't be right towards the couple to sulk about their happines on their special day in their party.

Many men and women are single even into their 30's and 40's without any repercussions, whatsoever.

There are a lot of other people on here that can’t get a date. Including me. Do you think we are pathetic too? I hope not. I just think it’s harder for decent people to find a date in this day and age then it was in the old days. There’s this old man I know that said back in his day, if he saw a pretty lady walking down the street, he would ask for her number. That’s how it was done. He said this after my failure with online dating. Even he doesn’t have a sexy grandma in his life. He was married at one point and had many girlfriends, but he is alone now. Perhaps technology is dividing us. Making us colder.

Nah, I think it's more about the fact that these days people don't need relationships for survival. When you don't actually need something that you want but that might have a bad outcome, you're more careful with what you pick.

The only reasons I can think of that a person might need a relationship for survival are medical or exploitative.

Otherwise, nobody really needs a relationship.

^ Companionship is a known human need, read up on it.

You might not wither and die after 5 days without one as is the case with water, but unless you're a sociopath or something you're going to be incredibly miserable, and if you ask me that's not a life worth living

Oh congratulations to her!

.[/quote][b][color=#1727a3]Oh congratulations to her![/quote]I wouldn’t say something like that to him. It’s kind of rubbing it in his face.

oh

Sorry mark.

I'm a 41 year old woman of Manchu extraction with few friends and even fewer partners in the past to reminisce over. I live by myself and haven't had another man's touch in many years. Yes, I crave it but I'm too busy to keep ruminating about it

There are other people like you out there, bud. Some of them even have vaginas!

There is "Need", as in the Need for air, water, food, shelter, clothing, and medical care (e.g., the basic "Necessities of Life"), and then there is "need", as in the "need" for a boyfriend/girlfriend, the "need" for sex with a partner, the "need" for the latest fashions or electronic gadget, the "need" for a fancy new car, et cetera.

The necessity to interact with other people can be met by simply mingling and interacting with complete strangers, and the failure to meet this necessity (such as being locked in solitary confinement) can result in active psychosis and/or acute depression and suicide.

The "need" for companionship can be met by owning a cat, a dog, or similar pet. Otherwise, loneliness resulting from social isolation while among people is virtually inevitable, while being miserable about it is optional.

And their 50s and 60s! And their whole entire lives!

Loneliness is a significant and valid concern for some people, but being single doesn't make anyone a creep or a loser, Marknis. I'm really sorry you feel so self-conscious about being single.

My neice has a great paid job , married and has a car. All my former friends are married and well paid too. I’m the only person I’ve met or known locally who’s never had a gf and who doesn’t have a wife/husband and kids. People tell me I better hurry as times running out like it’s a choice and I’ve chosen to be a loser and single. Like I can just snap my fingers and have a gf.

Yup, this is what I meant. When I said need I meant things that you die without. Wanting a partner is a need in it's own way and comparable to needing to do something one enjoys every once in a while to stay happy, but it's not the kind of need that will kill you if it's not filled, thus I'd call it a less important need than the need for food, sleep etc.

I don’t like that perception at all but society refuses to let go of it. I used to hope I would be the kid that would show a new way but instead I was shouted down and beat up.



I am not likely to be invited since she doesn’t even talk to me. Another younger cousin got married but I wasn’t invited to that wedding either. My mother and stepfather were invited to that wedding even though they mocked that cousin and her family behind their backs.



I am not offended but thank you for the apology regardless.

I do know someone who wishes she had a husband but all the men she keeps getting involved with “pump and dump” her. She has three kids but their fathers aren’t in their lives. She doesn’t consider me a potential partner, though, as she’s told me she wants a “thug boyfriend” even if those are the kind of men who kick her out of bed so to say.

Last edited by Marknis on 18 Oct 2019, 11:53 am, edited 4 times in total.

I presume that your cousin will invite lots of her 'younger' friends to the wedding.

hint hint hint