Feelings on memories

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What's your opinion / feeling on memories? I generally don't like them because they make me feel sad. My siblings will often want to go back to the area we grew up in and look around and see what's changed, but I don't like doing that because I feel so much worse now than I did back then. The memories make me very sad. Same with looking at old photo albums or family pictures. Everyone else seems to love looking at stuff like that except me.

I get it. But the same happens with other memories, I don't like to remember my childhood differently from other people, they feel happy and I feel confused and sad at the same time.

I really like to focus on the present. Trips down memory lane for me are tragic and upsetting. I have learned to rewrite personal history in a positive manner, but that is another story.

My usual short answer: Inconsistent.

Long answer: I'd rather change my perception in every memory of the past I got...
Preferably replacing most of it in a more mature and unconditional kind of lens than simply realistic and positive. Positive is just one thing for me.

Longer answer:
Sometimes it's relevant, sometimes it's not.
Sometimes it mattered, sometimes it's not.
Sometimes it's reliable, sometimes it's not.
Sometimes I look back at it, sometimes I chose not to.
Sometimes it brings up or it doesn't whether I chose to or not.
Sometimes looking back at it brings regrets and wrong kinds of surrendering, sometimes looking back at it brings acceptance and real learning, or neither.
Sometimes I do cherish it, sometimes I would rather it burn into the oblivion.
Sometimes I disregard it, sometimes I ended up wandering at it.

And so-so, I had enough with swinging between continuums.

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I love looking through old photos, videos and places that bring back my childhood memories. It does make me feel sad and also rather panicky that I can't get those days back, but I'm glad I have these memories and it brings us closer as a family when discussing nostalgia.

I’m the type of person that maybe thinks a little too much about the past. Especially all the friendships/relationships that I’ve had.

With apologies to Frank Herbert...

I will not fear my memories; fear is the mind-killer.

Instead, I will face my memories.
I will let them pass through my mind.
When they have passed, there shall be nothing to fear.
Only I will remain.

I will not fear.