Seriously Folks, lacking Empathy ?

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It seems , that alot of what am reading , about aspies is lacking empathy ....
Am not able to identify with this but maybe am just lacking empathy. ..

Is empathy a requisite to intuition ? Somebody clarify please?
Can understand when your very ill maybe not demostrating empathy ..
As does seem to be the case with me.
But between intuition and prognostication. AM STILL ALIVE ..

Although right now that does not feel as good as other days .
Think someone gave me the flu.at a small support group .

Need perspective on this no empathy thing .. that i keep stumbling upon ,want understanding,
Is this suggested lack of empathy a , gateway towards treating aspies as subhuman ?:

Insert angry face here .

As far as I've found, through research, there are 2 different types of empathy. Affective and cognitive.

Autistic people tend to lack cognitive empathy as opposed to affective empathy. This doesn't make us bad people. It doesn't mean that we don't care about other people or their emotions, just that we naturally struggle to understand them.

Though I believe that cognitive empathy can be increased, or learned, through observation, knowledge on non-verbal cues such as body language and facial expressions, as well as trying your hardest to imagine what it would be like to be in someone else's shoes (the more experience we've got in life, emotionally, the easier this is, because we can recall what it was like for us when we've felt similarly, or what we felt in a similar situation). It's a really handy thing to have. Though as long as we try our best to treat people with respect and consideration, not totally necessary. I mean, it's how we're wired so it isn't our fault. I'll still feel the urge to be blunt sometimes, but I understand that it can be rude and why. I didn't when I was younger. I also didn't understand that using the wrong tone of voice could be offensive or upsetting to people. I try to be more aware of that now, even if it isn't something I am "naturally".

I recently scored 47 on the EQ test which is quite high for someone on the spectrum. According to the test, scores over 30 would not typically indicate autism. Now, the test didn't differentiate between these two types of empathy, and affective is my naturally strong suit, but I guess I've managed to develop and improve my overall empathy.

Before I came on this site I never had thought about empathy. I always assumed empathy was sympathy and vice versa. I am very sympathetic. I feel deeply for people. But I can't get my head round empathy and what it is all about as it keeps merging into sympathy... I am trying to work it all out...

Oh yes. It has been clearly explained to me but somehow it is like having all the parts but not knowing where they fit.

And I think I do have empathy... But when I toom the online test as part of other tests, just look at the result! (Below on my signature). I just can't work it out. Ah well! (I would never describe myself as lacking empthy though even if I don't understand it)

In simplest terms, sympathy is the extent to which you care, empathy is the extent to which you understand. For example, sympathy without empathy would be "I see that you are sad. I do not relate to your *reasons* for being sad, but I do understand the feeling sad, and I am responding to that." Empathy without sympathy would be "I *understand* why you are sad, but I do not feel the need to respond to it in any way." Empathy AND sympathy together would be "I understand the feeling you are experiencing, AND the reasons you are experiencing it."

Normally the topic of empathy comes from neurotypicals referring to an autistic's "lack of empathy". But an NT failing to understand why bright lights or loud noises could upset an autistic is also a textbook definition of "lack of empathy" - and not caring that it does bother some autistics is also a lack of sympathy on their part. Autistics have plenty of empathy - we just tend to have it with people who have similar life experiences. Like other autistics.

Now that is something to reflect on. But how come I scored so low on empathy? There was a question where it said "I know what other people are thinking" yes\no. Of course I put no because no one knows what other people are thinking. Is impossible. But that was only one single question...

Definity agree with this .

Not exactly true - you can't know what people are thinking from a telepathic clairvoyant perspective, but it IS possible to make really good guesses as to what a person is thinking, based on correlated experiences. And being good at that is an empathy related skill. I call it a skill, because it is something that can be improved with practice. I'm sure there were other questions that gauge empathy - but if you lack empathy, you're not liable to notice them, cos you lack empathy, so you wouldn't see the point of the question. I don't mean that as a slight - that's just how that works. Lacking empathy also isn't a bad thing, nor does it make someone a bad person - the fact THAT you care about others' feelings is more important than whether you understand them. It doesn't matter WHY you feel bad, I just care THAT you feel bad. And that's still a very caring thing to do.

There are plenty of NTs with personality disorders that explains why they lack empathy. To claim that most people with Autism/Aspergers lack empathy is a blatant lie pushed by know-nothing NTs. Social media is a classic example of where NTs with personality disorders hang out.

Social media is full of people that lack empathy. Social media and its attention seeking behaviour that appeals to obnoxious, loud mouthed, aggressive, extroverts. Social media is a toxic fake superficial environment that enables sociopaths and narcissists to thrive. Social media has lead to a growing number of people lacking empathy.

I think the essence of autistic "lack of empathy" is not picking up social/emotional signals of others (and often self too, alexithymia and low emotional intelligence are common on the spectrum).
Don't confuse empathy with compassion. One can lack empathy but be full of compassion or the other way around.

I'm certainly not void of empathy, and when it's related to something difficult that I've also experienced, I often feel a fair amount of empathy. When it's not something I've experienced, or regarding someone I care about, I think it's fair to say I have below average affective empathy or sympathy, as in I don't really feel their pain. I think I have above average cognitive empathy though, owing to my ability to analyse.

Is compassion the same as sympathy then?

And why do people think pity is bad? I looked up the definition: "a feeling of sadness or sympathy for someone else's unhappiness or difficult situation". That seems like a caring thing to feel.

Have you heard of the"double empathy problem"?
https://intersectionalneurodiversity.wordpress.com/2017/11/19/new-research-suggests-social-issues-are-down-to-neurotypicals-more-than-autistics/

" IN THE FINAL ANALYSE"
This is curious to me.. so when a aspie relates sympathy or empathy .
Is this done through analysis ? A emotional thing you feel ?
As time has passed have gotten better at analyses. Are these now conditioned reflex ...( not a bad thing) . Ie. Better at masking possibly . Its weird , where others consider there interactions are just being fun.... am seeing meaness.
When was very little , reruns of the old time "3 stooges " would come on ., and people around me would laugh .. was seeing people inflicting pain on one another.

Many television programs here in the states are geared that way . Mostly sitcoms. Still not a good understanding of this.. cannot sit through alot of programming even now. Even gotten refunds on movies at the theatre once, cause it was offensive to me. THESE THINGS INFLUENCE OUR SOCIETY
And i do not think it is for the better . Often have tried to put myself in some public officials shoes .. impractical study in stupidity and appearances of influence peddling . Inspite of the will of people at a city concil meeting.
It works better in a one on one situation. I think.

Anyone can lack empathy but the autistic population get accused of lacking empathy by people who can lack empathy themselves. This is where more awareness needs to be made on this.
And it's not just autistics vs NTs. A relative of mine has cancer and while people are sympathetic she feels that people lack empathy when it comes to her emotions. Her NT husband sometimes yells at her to "stop going on", but it's not that he doesn't care. He just doesn't express much empathy to her because he's not the one suffering with cancer. And I find a lot of people can be like this when they're not going through the same as what you're going through.

But when empathy is discussed by autistics, it makes it sound like NTs are experts at feeling and showing empathy in the correct ways in any given situation and can imagine and understand everything to do with emotions and always love to help people and know exactly what to say when expressing empathy.

I know someone who I can tell by his facial expressions that he may be upset. He has very pronounced facial expressions when he uses them.

With most people I can only tell a few facial expressions. Smile means happy. A frown means sad. Basic things I can usually work out.
Uhmm. Due to prosopragnosia and generally lacking direct eye contact (Are the two conditions linked?) I may miss some of the more subtle facial expressions that people may give. This does not make me clueless, but certain people can catch me out with certain mood swings which to me is a very sudden event, but to them it may have been a gradual build up. To me I can be puzzled. To me it is "What was all that about?"

For some reason, animals are easier as they seem simpler... Their body language can be easier to predict as they use their whole bodies more, especially their tails... And cats are probably the easiest of all in this respect.

This seems all very familiar to me .