Nothing is getting better

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Highly_Autistic
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12 Nov 2019, 11:52 am

Im 21.85 years old. What i did in my life: nothing. Didnt have any friend since age 15. I didnt have fun with my life, dont have anything to live for. I have depression, loneliness and social anxiety. This was the same when i was 11 years old, another 11 years passed and nothing got better. Im still the same, maybe worse. Psychologist told me that people with aspergers can have friends and have fun. Why cant i be normal? Whats the problem? Am i doomed to be a loser all of my life?



kraftiekortie
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12 Nov 2019, 11:56 am

You have a long ways to go, Sir.

My simple advice is to obtain your degree. if you don't obtain your degree, there's a better chance that you will be more unsuccessful than if you obtained your degree.

Are you getting good grades?



EzraS
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12 Nov 2019, 12:40 pm

Highly_Autistic wrote:
Im 21.85 years old. What i did in my life: nothing. Didnt have any friend since age 15. I didnt have fun with my life, dont have anything to live for. I have depression, loneliness and social anxiety. This was the same when i was 11 years old, another 11 years passed and nothing got better. Im still the same, maybe worse. Psychologist told me that people with aspergers can have friends and have fun. Why cant i be normal? Whats the problem? Am i doomed to be a loser all of my life?


I don't see any sense in looking at things from the winner loser normal construct. At least not in my circumstances. I am normal for me. And 20 years from now I probably won't be any different. I'd say some people with aspergers can do whatever socially, but not all. I think it's important to keep in mind that your situation is not the result of a character flaw on your part. It's the result of getting short changed by nature. And when it comes to that for me, while it sucks, others have been given a worse deal by nature. So I can at least be thankful I didn't turn out with worse problems.



kraftiekortie
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12 Nov 2019, 12:46 pm

Highly Autistic is in a country where getting into university is somewhat harder than it is in the US.

Which means to me that he, most likely, has the academic credentials to be able to obtain a degree.

I wish I knew him better, be able to see him in action. I believe, as long as he's getting good grades, that he should continue on the track he is now, and not drop out.

I believe he is studying computers, if I'm not mistaken. I believe having a computer degree in any country is good----but, probably, especially good in his country.

I do understand what you are saying, Ezra. You are, obviously, correct.



EzraS
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12 Nov 2019, 5:37 pm

Clinical depression can be a real crippler. I'm thankful that is at least one thing I have not been plagued with.



shortfatbalduglyman
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12 Nov 2019, 6:29 pm

Likewise I have no friends and accomplished nothing

36 years old

No job skills, got canned a lot of times

No hobbies

Nothing I enjoy doing


No "helpful" advice

Like sysyphus

"You can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear" :mrgreen:



RetroGamer87
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12 Nov 2019, 9:00 pm

Highly_Autistic wrote:
Im 21.85 years old.

So you're still pretty young. If you get to be 75 and you still haven't done anything with your life, then you've got a problem.


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EzraS
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12 Nov 2019, 10:55 pm

Why must everyone "do something" with their life? And what constitutes having "done something"?



221B
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13 Nov 2019, 4:58 am

i'm 28 and the situation for me is pretty much the same. the last thing i wanted was a little thing but ended in disaster as usual.
so no job, no friend, no one to talk to, no hobby, no money, no nothing. and i'm done with all that. i will just stop wanting and hoping. is life painful? so be it. im tired and im done.
i know this rant was probably not acceptable but whatever.
on a relevant note, here is a quote: "pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."



auntblabby
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13 Nov 2019, 5:17 am

i'm considered a senior by some, in the september of my years, with a lifetime of not fitting in, not belonging, being good at nothing practical and remunerative, except for being an outlier in general. it is not a bowl of cherries, but it is a road less taken that has improved me spiritually.



kraftiekortie
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13 Nov 2019, 8:48 am

We need more Doc types in this world.

As for the OP, I feel like you could get that degree. Please don’t drop out because of social things.

I learned a long time ago that hanging out on my own is preferable to hanging out with others.

Friends will come—especially in your field. There are lots of nerdy, autistic types in computers pursuing degrees and who are maybe lonely, too.



Sarahsmith
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13 Nov 2019, 7:18 pm

I have no friends. I am 34. I dont do much. Id like to have friends but I dont beat myself up about not having any friends.