i keep hurting the one i love

Post Reply New Topic

I keep hurting the one I love.
I don't know how to express myself, so I don't, in turn it gets bottled up, and then I lash out and say things I don't mean, because they're an amplified version of the emotions I'm having trouble expressing.
When I have a lot of time to think about how I feel, I've been told I speak very eloquently, even more so than NTs. But there is so much I just do not express at all because I can't. I know I shouldn't use the word "normal" but being up front I wish I was a little more "normal" so I wouldn't have these issues, and so that things could be easier... I try so hard but in my own pain and struggle I hurt others.
This sucks.

anyways. currently listening to some soft music. that stuff is so soothing, but I'm hurting a lot right now so I just feel quite drained. Soft music, and writing down thoughts. It eases my messy mind a little, so thank you, whoever is reading this, for being a sounding board.

Soft music makes me feel worse sometimes.

I’m glad you feel soothed by it.

I sense you’re a pretty smart person.

Hah. Thank you, according to the cognitive assessment I had to take though I am in fact average.

I don’t take too much stock in many of these tests.

Even if you’re “average,” you can still transcend that “average-ness” in many ways.

Fair enough, thanks regardless. It’s almost 12am here, so, I guess I’ll put these thoughts to rest for the night anyways. Take care.

Would it help to write down your feelings for him? Sometimes it's easier when dealing with emotional issues. Perhaps explain that your behaviour does not reflect the depth of your feelings accurately?

I have, but it’s kind of useless in the time it actually happens regardless... if that even makes sense. I still feel bad :c
I put it in safe haven rather than relationships because it’s something that happens throughout my life in different areas anyways, such as when seeing a psych- new ones are the worst to see because they don’t understand things like this