My distressed physicians course

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Welp, I went to my course.

Even though I am not a physician, but a nurse. When I became a member here, it was just after getting into deep s**t for telling off my case worker and physician, being referred and finding out I have Asperger's. I fought the bastards of this 'monitoring' program I'm in for nurses in recovery from substance abuse. And getting in to even worse trouble...

This program is the lay person equivalent to Dale Carnegie for a**holes, anger management issues, professionalism, etc... And I now have the first 3 days under my belt. I'm going to attempt to practice what I've learned on here. I've got to start somewhere and you guys/gals are going to be my first stop. I'm expecting some difficulty, because I do have issues.

I go back for one day to the class at 1, 3 and 6 months out, to check my progress. I'm glad this part is behind me. The other participants were all doctors, but they were nice.

Dale Carnegie for asshats? Can I refer a few friends?

But seriously, kudos to you for going and being so open about the experience. I'm glad the people were nice, and that at least some of it is behind you. Sending you extra hugs as you undertake this learning curve. I'm still thinking of your family and especially your grandson, too! Hugs to you all.

@Persephone29, what are some of things you are going to practice?

What you write reminds me of my Aspie-like BFF who is generally inexpressive but then had the occasional sarcastic outburst at work that got her "put" into "communication" courses. I am the generally expressive person and shutdown or cry with stress (even in my late 40s). Nobody has thought to suggest a "communication" course for me, although I did recently take the company's online assertiveness training myself. I've been receiving "she's not professional" feedback since I was in college. I was telling my ASD coach about this and had to laugh when the very next day a young person in the company sent public recognition to me and said I exemplify professionalism. LOL. Perspective.

Thanks ladies, for your support.

We learned about how families of origin can influence behavior, we did a 'genogram' and presented it in front of the class.

We did role play and each wrote out a skit as an example of what got us referred to this astronomically expensive class. Voc Rehab did end up committing to reimburse our family, it was a $5k class (which is a punishment, imo). Then, different people stood in as the actors. We did it as it originally occurred, then switched roles to put ourselves in the other person's place. After that, we acted it out in a better fashion.

Did testing to find out our work relationship types, resiliency, burnout tendencies, flooding tendencies... The first two nights we had 2 hours worth of homework.

Learned about 'flooding,' when we are getting worked up and might react poorly. Strategies to interrupt the flooding...

It was interesting. I wouldn't go so far as to say I was happy to be there, but knowing Voc Rehab would pay decreased my resentment and I focused. The doctors may have an easy time coming up with that kind of money, but we didn't. I have no complaints about the program, it does have a place/purpose. The instructors were very nice and great meals were included too! People think that doctors must have all their stuff together just because they are highly educated, but that's not always true. One participant went through this whole course and got arrested for murder for hire of his partners! Thank goodness I just told off all the wrong people. I wish I hadn't, but it could always have been worse.

I'm reading Self-Reg and hope it helps me manage flooding. The other day I had in mind how to calmly and correctly handle a work situation, but my body thought otherwise and I had to excuse myself to cool off. Ah, well. Awareness is the first step they say.

I would agree the circumstances stink, but yea for resources and learning!! !!

Aside: I had a co-worker acquaintance arrested a few months ago for a past murder. Hard to reconcile that.

Amazing! That's so cool that you are learning similar strategies.

Not sure about you, but I operate at baseline flooded due to over stimulation. Once I hit a certain level, by 2 admissions, all the work associated with getting the patients settled in, I'm at a 7. Then, if a coworker decides to come at me with some insignificant nonsense, like 'what soup I'm going to prepare for the unit soup cook off?' I'm off the deep end. Soup!? I don't care about soup! I'm trying to keep my patients safe! Go AWAY with the soup!

Then, I'm in the spotlight because I flipped out over soup.

I have rage issues too (family of origin stuff), so I get very little warning. I'm going to do everything they tell me to do. We were given an anger workbook too.

Yes, right there with you. At work I had two things bothering me one week and then my director emailed me this minor thing (the third) and I lit up like a holiday tree. My director was like "I don't see that the email was offensive" ---- I was like, here is the context (the other two things), but I wasn't too clear how to explain that stupid or unsupportive emails are offensive to me.

Your "too" honest, "too" sensitive, "too" reactive fellow Aspie (to be confirmed soon).

BTW - I'm reading college letters and my closest friends had me pegged. 20 years ago and one basically described me in terms of "intense world" theory. Only if we had known it was a "thing".

Most sincere applause for taking on this challenge. I am thinking this could be life changing for you. I will be holding you in the Light.

Thanks again! I'm 7 chapters into my Anger Workbook. We get tons of homework for this course. I'll update this thread if I learn anything more. This workbook is really good, it teaches to flip the script and take back control, stop putting power in the hands of others, thinking patterns and how to change them. I am loathe to admit that I'm actually learning a lot.

That resonates with me. I am working to be assertive (retaining my power), rather than shutdown or explosive (giving my power away). Next step for me is EMDR therapy to help dissipate some of my explosiveness.

I once was required to do volunteer work and... I REALLY liked it! The circumstances leading up to it were awful, but the volunteer work was the silver lining. I did more in my 30s and look forward to doing more later in life.

Went back for my 1 month follow up. I'm now the only woman and the only nurse in a room full of male physicians. As I'm listening to what brought them there, I'm thinking that I would have stood right up in their faces and gave it back to them. They were mostly reported by female nurses.

Anyway, I worked through the 1st 7 chapters of the anger management workbook. Now I must complete chapters 8-13 before the next follow up in mid January. We focused mostly on putting ourselves in the other person's shoes, which is helpful.

^^ Thanks for the update. A long-term program is neat. Bummer (or simply interesting) on being the odd person out. I am glad you are finding the helpful parts.

What does one do after putting themselves in the shoes of someone else? When I think of putting myself in the shoes of my controlling, belittling director --- yuck. Poor guy and I would walk his shoes out of my group and over to be humbled.

Well, I'm not sure how that would work as your director sounds like no fun. What I think they are trying to get us to do involves the idea that everyone is 'doing the best they can.' Whether they are truly doing the best that they can is supposed to be none of my business. I'm just supposed to make more 'generous assumptions.' That's a phrase coined by Brene Brown.

Second follow-up, reviewing what we've learned and working through to the end of the Anger Management workbook. It's all tying in with the DBT therapy class that I'm taking. One more follow-up class in April, it's a wrap.

How's your recent distress level? I discovered ear plugs reduce my distress, but not enough for a brightly lit warehouse.

Congratulations on your progress in the class! Not many people have the guts and insight to make the kinds of changes you are. I don't mean this to sound patronizing, but I am very impressed.