Living Abroad and Can't Deal

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I got a scholarship to teach English in Germany and it has been stressful ... Life is already stressful as it is at home in the US, but now I have cultural differences to learn and navigate as well! It has been overwhelming and have had meltdowns over stupid things like being asked a question in German that I cannot understand, get snapped at for not understanding and then I shut down and want to go home. I feel like I never thought much about having meltdowns since they usually occurred when after a lot of pressure built up. Now I have at least a small one daily!

I also have a german pen pal I was supposed to meet and he doesn't want to anymore and it's just been hard coping with losing my friend (or at least an important part of my friendship) while living in a new country and everything being a disaster all the time.

How does one deal with so much change? And not feel guilty about hating to travel?

I’m sorry you are having it so hard. And about your pen pal.

What part of Germany are you teaching in?

If I were you, I would take in the cultural sites. And go online to learn about German cultural norms. And join an expat forum.

How much German do you know? I thought that many people, especially in academic settings, speak English.

I know it’s a tough adjustment for you. I would say going on the expat forum, especially, might be a useful thing to do. You can meet fellow Americans through them.

Sorry to hear that you're going through these initial settling in issues. I moved countries too, but don't have your issues with the language, and there will always be some stress with such a move, even good stress can take a toll. Just hang in there, Take a deep breath and remind yourself of what you are hoping to achieve while in Germany. Give yourself time to adjust. It will get easier, and hopefully, you'll look back at these early issues with a smile(or a grimace), and see that these early days were all just a part of the journey, so to speak. Hopefully, overall, your time in Germany will be worthwhile and you'll be glad you stretched yourself beyond the usual limits. As scary as such change can be, it really can wind up being worth the leap, in spite of initial hiccups. That's quite a blow that your penfriend wound up not wanting to meet/stay in touch, but chances are, you'll make some new friends, and as KK mentioned, maybe the ex-pat community will help in a big way . Hang in there and just take it one day at a time for now. Give yourself things to look forward to. Find a way to relax, and let off steam at the end of the day. Maybe some calming exercise. The food in Germany is amazing! The people ... can be very nice! Just give it time.xx

I traveled a bit when I was young but I didn’t like it either. I only stayed where I was for a week and ended up crying to go home. But you know what? I wish I had braved it out because it would have been a learning experience. I would have memories of being somewhere different then the same old boring place I call home. Now I’ll never know what could have been. So I know you’re struggling but try to brave it out so you can have the experience of being somewhere different.