How can i become mute without being sent to therapy??

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I want to be mute.

I know it sounds weird. I know people who were born mute sometimes wish they could talk. I might be selfish. Is it selfish? I think it is.
I just... every time i open my mouth i f**k everything up. I dint try to but i do. Im weird. People don't like me. If i don't talk i don't have to get attached. I don't have to lose people.
But my mom doesn’t like the idea. She thinks i should talk. That is i stop talking i am pretty much useless. If i stop talking ill never get a job that will make them money. She wants to send me to therapy if i stop talking.
But i just cant.
I dint want to talk. If she forces me.. i will kill myself. I cant. i just cant. Im sorry if you read this all.

Toby, you wrote something here that was pretty powerful. I'm glad you did & that you opened up to share this section of the autism experience with everyone--

--now think about this. Think about all the wonderful things that words can say. On paper, through the radio (like in "The King's Speech) in books, in whatever. And even in words.

It's fine not to like the sound of your own voice. You may find that you can do a lot of good just by being there for other people & being kind. Now I don't think that you're going down the right path by deciding to be mute, and even though I have very much been there before I can't say suicide is a good idea. It just isn't a good decision.

You have said this. but you have by doing so really captured some of the autism experience--just how difficult it can be sometimes to deal with the ways of talking, etc. I think you need to give yourself a little break, maybe, from whatever is high stress, and then go ahead & use your words for good. From what you said in your post I think you have a lot to say.

Understandable motivation.


"Make them money"? What is the situation that makes this a concern? Do you live in a country where children provide for their parents' old age?

Not talking likely will constrain jobs. But there might be a chance that therapy can help you get what you want. Your trouble with talking might be considered selective mutism. If that is accepted as a disability where you live, there may be help available to find jobs that accommodate you. Is that something you would want? Because then you would need someone who assesses your disability. A therapist might be able to do that, or give you a referral to someone who can. If that takes care of one of your mother's concerns, that could reduce pressure on you.