Bombed the Interview

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I'll admit I wasn't prepared for the interview. Yesterday I got two calls to schedule two interviews the next day. Then on the next day, my cell service failed and I had to take care of my grandmother too. So I barely had time to research one company and prepare my canned speeches for one company. The result was that the first company (which I prepared for) couldn't reach me and we had to reschedule. Then I spent all the time I was going to use to research for the second company trying to fix my damn cell phone.

So I ended up getting a call the minute I got off the phone with my cell service provider, I was unprepared, didn't research the company at all and had no idea what I was doing. The result was I bombed the interview, badly.

Admittedly, it is my fault. I should've been more prepared, I should've expected things would go wrong at the last minute, I should've known my grandmother might have problems, so it would take longer than usual to take care of her. Instead of expecting that I would be able to use the half-hour between calls to study up on a company, I should've done all the work the night before.

Anyways, the important thing is that I learn from this failure, I just need experience, it's always hard the first time you do something and since this was my first real interview, I didn't expect to succeed, I just didn't think I would fail so badly.

The reality is if I was prepared, everything would've gone right. I hate myself a lot.

A lot of bad things happened this week, our boiler broke on Monday, no hot water on Tuesday, Got 2 calls for interviews on Wednesday for the next day, and being forced to watch the repairman (because my family is afraid of being stolen from), Thursday I missed one interview and completely made a fool of myself on the other one, and last Saturday my brother was sent away with the family dog, so I've been a little lacking in emotional support holding myself together.

So, in conclusion, I messed up and made mistakes, now I just need to learn from them. I've got the rescheduled phone interview tomorrow, this time I will get it right!! !!

There's an old saying about the wisdom of replacing Should with Could, especially in self talk. I think it's a good one.

All the best with interview ahead. I have both bombed and aced interviews. A lot depends on what is happening in our lives at any time, and timing is an important factor.

Sometimes I wish there were dedicated AS support groups dedicated to the bridging the gap between NT interview processes and AS approaches.

I'll be thinking of you and wishing you the outcome you are hoping for.

At least you're getting multiple interviews; think of it that way.

Like you say, you will learn from your mistakes. You had a lot of stress going on in your life. You will do much better the next time.

When I was going for my second job, interviews were pretty rare, and were some weeks apart. Luckily, one of the interviews was for the library where I work now.

I get the difference between could and should. But if I could've done it, why didn't I. The thing is that I should've done it, but I didn't. And the only reason was that, I was lazy. Yes, I was stressed, since a lot of things changed and a lot of unsettling events happened, yes, I was a bit overwhelmed with the prospect of having two interviews, yes, I was thrown off by the fact my cell decided to act up.

But I could've buckled up and instead of spending time trying to de-stress myself, I should've spent more time actually doing something. It's not like it isn't possible, lots of people on this forum have accumulated massive amounts of stress, while going to work and doing normal things, only decades later, do the negative effects kick in, depression, PTSD, and anxiety attacks.

I agree with you that there should be dedicated AS support groups, after all we do face more problems. But I can't make excuses or else I might lose against my own laziness. I should learn how to suffer and how to endure stress. I just need to learn how to manage my stress effectively so I don't become burned out from trying to be normal. But one step at a time.

I thank you sincerely for your post.

Thanks for reading it. You seem very hard on yourself. Are you inclined to impose perfectionist standards on yourself to a degree that you would never apply to others?

@kraftkortie, I get an interview maybe once a month, I've been job searching for 3 months, I've only had one very informal interview before that, this is my first real interview, so in reality, I've gotten only two interviews in 3 months of job searching. You do make a good point, I'd rather have interviews than not have any.

I should still work harder, but I simply am not passionate about my career, but it is the only job that I do not mind doing. It's too bad that my special interests don't correlate with high paying professions. I'm sure if there was I would've gotten a job much faster.

@B19, I am lazy. Keep this in mind and know it to be true as I type.

We all have potential, but very few people fulfill their full potential. They waste time, pursuing hobbies, pursuing love, pursuing happiness, pursuing knowledge. I do not expect to fulfill my full potential. But I expect to be comparable to other people.

Other people in my classes (college) have had these traits.
-They knew what job they wanted from the first time they entered college. (Most)
-They want and expect Straight A's from themselves. (Some)
-They are in clubs and honor societies and seek scholarships. (Few)
-They work a part-time job on the weekends. (Some)
-They socialize and have hobbies. (Most)
-They spend a lot of time on personal care. (Most)
-They have dreams and goals. (Most)
-They keep physically fit. (Half)

This was me
-I had no idea what I wanted to do, when I entered college.
- I expected Straight B's from myself.
-I was not in clubs or honor society and did not apply for scholarships (Either I was lazy or I felt I didn't deserve a scholarship)
- I did not work part-time while going to school
-I did not socialize, but I do spend a crap ton of time on my hobbies.
- I make sure my hair is straight, my zipper is zipped and that I shower, that is the extent of my personal care.
- I don't have dreams, I don't have goals aside from make enough money to stay alive.
- I don't exercise.

This was my Family
- Worked from the time that they were 10 years old. (Father)
- Dean's list in College (Mother's Side)
- Social Life (Mother mostly, but Father too)
- They work multiple jobs, from 2 to 3 jobs. (Both Mother and Father's side of the family)
Let me shorten this, basically, my family lived harsh lives, worked hard, studied hard. The classic immigrant family that moved to the US and pulled itself into the middle class or we would be if not for some mistakes and bad luck.

Essentially, I base my expectations of myself, on what I can perceive from my peers and my family. I learn from other people's mistakes as well to improve myself. For example, I do not drink and I do not gamble, because I have seen the negative effects they have on other people. I also do not do drugs for the same reason.

I also need to learn from other people's successes to improve myself, but doing something is a lot harder than trying not to do something. So I often fail to improve myself, even with good examples to learn from.

I do not expect perfection from myself, I simply wish to be as capable as other people in my life have been.

I don't recall: what is your field of endeavor?

I've been only a clerk for the past 40 years.

Maybe try out being your own yardstick, because you are you. Maybe you are the champion in this story, not others.

@kraftiekortie, my field is Biochemistry, I wish to be a research assistant or lab technician in R&D, my end goal is middle management lab tech position, so perhaps lab tech supervisor. I do sometimes think of being a Clerk or librarian, but I've always been told I need a college degree and a high paying career, so now I'm here trying to get that last one.

@B19, It is all a matter of perspective, I do agree.

I suppose it looks like I have a confidence problem, but that is only because I like to make claims that are based in fact. I cannot brag unless I have definitive proof.

I wouldn't say or think you had a confidence problem, no, though living in the NT world we do, its impossible not to internalise some of the oppression we face in daily life. It goes with the AS territory, and I like your clarity of planning and looking ahead.

Personally I find derailments such as you have described have a profound effect for up to 3 days, then it lessens, and I become refocused again. Why 3 days I have no idea, but this has been evident many many times.

Sometimes, when you get a clerical-type job, say, at a college or university, you can show them (professors) your knowledge of biochemistry. Then, they might recommend you apply for this or that position.

Sometimes, if you establish a rapport, you can use them as references.

You can also apply for biochemistry jobs within the university while, say, you work as a circulation clerk at a college library.

I think the first day is processing the shock, the second day is stress, and the third day is devoted to recovery. I think I have a similar recovery experience, although my recovery times vary based on the intensity of the traumatizing event.

@kraftkortie, ahh, establishing a rapport, I put that as slightly harder than getting straight A's in college. (Unless of course that person and I happen to share a lot of interests and hobbies. Which is very rare and has only happened once in college. One of my teachers shared a lot of my views on science and stuff.)

Social things are still out of my reach. Still, I like your recommendation, I don't know if I qualify for clerk jobs (I think I do), but that might be an option. (I'm unsure of what clerks do and I hate making assumptions because they are often wrong.) @Kraftkortie, what's a job as a clerk like?

I've been a clerk for 40 years.

It really depends upon the task that you are given.

Clerical jobs can be rather monotonous and repetitive. But I believe many are suited for people with autism. Usually, one doesn't have to "use one's mind" all that much.

From experience, people in that field are VERY used to Aspie-like behavior and I wouldn't worry about it too much. You certainly picked a great career path where your quirks will be seen as normal. The only thing I would suggest (in general not to you in particular) is that it is very important to be clean, tie long hair back and not wear too much jewelry in an lab-related interview.

On a side note: I volunteered for a group of local Medical Lab students to be a Guinea Pig (pretend to be a patient and allow them to take blood) and I was POPULAR! I still can't believe how it felt to have people admire me for my 'weird' behavior: I probably would have walked out of there with a girlfriend if I wasn't already married!