Depression

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Been going through extreme autistic burnout for close to a year and I feel heavy depression coming on. Extreme burnout on top of plowing through concurrent burnouts. My functioning is waning, executive functioning has been going into the toilet for 10 years. I feel like I am too weird even here.

Very sorry to hear ... are you able to take a break from work(if you're working) and if need be, an extended one? Depending where you are in the world, being diagnosed, you might be able to accept services that will make taking a break possible. Do your best to take good care of your mind and body by getting as much rest as you can, eating good, healthy food, drinking plenty of water, and taking walks in nature if possible. It's like walking on a tightrope, but you need to get off the rope, before it breaks and give yourself what your mind and body needs in order to restore equilibrium. Sending hugs and hoping you can take a break ...

Pyrrhic-----you're definitely one of the sane ones here!

I'm sorry you're going through this.

I appreciate your posts here. I don't always say anything because I don't always have something to say.

I am so sorry you are feeling like you are spiraling downward. I know it doesn't feel like it, or at least it doesn't feel like it to me, but things eventually start going up again, especially if you can get some rest and a lot of hugs, if you like hugs.

Even though I have been up and down many times, (or is it down and up?), and I have had enough experience at this to know that eventually life returns to good, when I am down I cannot feel that. I just have to intellectually tell myself to let it be, get rest and eventually the feelings will improve.

I also have a lot of problems with executive function and can really sympathize with that. It takes me so much more work to do the work due to really poor executive functioning.

I hope you can find relief and rest so you can make a complete and thorough recovery.

Anybody who can come up with a screen name like yours----has got to be very creative!

I'm guessing it's a pun on "pyrrhic win."

Sort of. It has some meaning. My personal victories have been pyrrhic and I am nothing more than a little bird sitting in a tree. I may know things but in the end it is all useless. I rather have had a normal life and not had this neuro-psychological millstone tied around my neck.

You’re probably a very interesting person.

You probably sell yourself short.

There is virtue in being knowledgeable.

Birds in a tree are observers. We need more observers and less talkers (who don’t listen).

Selling myself short definitely. Titles are of no concern to me. I underrepresent myself since I have virtually no ego and think of myself as no better than anyone else. I've been to a handful of countries. When I went, I met people that owned jewelry shops, lawyers, crack users, ex-criminals, etc. I did observe a lot while in those places. It kept me somewhat safe. Knowledge brings misery as it is quoted in the Tanakh. I literally have studied for 25 years everything you can think of. For the past 12 years the study was super heavy but what I studied were things I liked. If I cared about titles, I possibly could have been a doctor or lawyer. However, figuring out life on my own and having no financial backing, I struggled. I have a ton of credits in college and have had work titles that would seem impressive. But it means nothing. I still struggle in many ways. Health is sub-optimal currently. I don't want to give it my all and end up with pyrrhic victories anymore. Etc etc....

Sorry about your health.

There was a character in a novel called “Middlemarch” who studied everything, but couldn’t apply it to everyday life.

The difference is that there was no redemption for him because of his stubbornness.

You, at least, have the flexibility to listen to others, and the humility to rise above the pitfalls of acquiring “too much knowledge.”

I haven’t studied much—yet I think I’m so smart lol

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 05 Feb 2020, 8:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

You are smart.

I second that.

Thanks very much. I appreciate that.

Now I want both you guys to realize your strengths. and not give in to emphasizing your supposed weaknesses.

One of my favorite quotes of all time:

“I might not be a smart man...but I KNOW what LOVE is.”

Forrest Gump

Totally appreciate that Juliette. I'm going to try to get it together next week, one step at a time.

Thanks mountain goat.