What's the proper way to chew someone out...

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Angnix
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15 Aug 2020, 6:25 pm

Yes, it's my uncle's roommate again... He had so many appointments far away lately we both are broke from putting gas in my van... and the muffler fell off my uncle's car so he can't go anywhere now... And he had some money today and he said hed put gas in... But instead he decides to use it for a haircut and other junk... And now my gas light is on and he is complaining he needs to go places Tomorrow and Monday and other days next week and I just had to put my foot down saying I can't do it, my gas light is on... he claims if I show up tomorrow he got ahold of 10 dollars but ummm I don't know if I have enough gas to make it!! ! He made his bed and he needs to lie in it... :? Did he really need that hair cut, flyswatter, cake pan (and I used my food stamps to buy them cake mix...) etc... Seriously? They are taking advantage again ...


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funeralxempire
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15 Aug 2020, 7:01 pm

I'd assume with teeth. :mrgreen:


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Angnix
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15 Aug 2020, 9:37 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
I'd assume with teeth. :mrgreen:


Na, I didn't mean that literally but that's funny lol!


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ReapTheWhirlwind
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15 Aug 2020, 11:35 pm

Look them sternly in the eye and explain that they are being irresponsible. If they want favors from you for stupid things, you have the right to say no. If they want to be in bearable standings with you, then they should be more responsible and considerate. Let it be known that you are upset. Chewing someone out doesn't work if you don't bluff or punish them, they will only keep making the same mistakes. You could also guilt trip them, but that's pretty low.


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emotrtkey
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16 Aug 2020, 2:46 pm

If you chew him out, he may get angry and resent you. It will also hurt your relationship and you may feel guilty afterward. I've found it's more helpful and effective to be assertive. I'd say something like, "Sorry, but I can't afford to keep paying for the gas you're using." and ask him to give you money in advance to cover the gas if he wants to use your van.



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16 Aug 2020, 2:52 pm

Try this:

"You are not my master and I am not your slave.  You got yourself into this mess, so you can get yourself out of it.  Don't ever call me again.  Don't even come over.  Just sod off and leave me the Hell alone!"

Then hang up and block him from every means of contacting you.

If you see him in your neighborhood, don't engage.  Call the police and tell them he's violating a court order by stalking you.

Deal harshly with him.  Don't worry if he doesn't like you any more, because he never did -- he only wants to use you and take advantage of you.  He deserves nothing better.


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Sahn
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16 Aug 2020, 3:13 pm

He needs to arrive at your place and hand over $10 for gas before you even think about it!



funeralxempire
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16 Aug 2020, 3:20 pm

Angnix wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
I'd assume with teeth. :mrgreen:


Na, I didn't mean that literally but that's funny lol!


I didn't mean it literally either. I just mean 'forcefully enough the message sticks'.

Until he's paid for a full tank of gas tell him your van isn't going anywhere unless you're driving it to serve your interests.

Is there a restraining order? If so don't allow any contact at all.
If not, make it clear he's being shunned for being a parasite and that you have no interest in having a relationship that always benefits him and always costs you.


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If you're not careful, the newspapers will have you hating the people who are being oppressed, and loving the people who are doing the oppressing. —Malcolm X
Just a reminder: under international law, an occupying power has no right of self-defense, and those who are occupied have the right and duty to liberate themselves by any means possible.


Angnix
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17 Aug 2020, 4:07 pm

My uncle put gas in the van this time... But yeah, it's starting to stink... He can call his Medicaid and get rides... he has appointments 3 times a week at least and adding up the miles everytime I take him it's about 80 miles more on that old van... His neighbor found out about his charge and was worried about me being around him... But anyway people have started throwing fireworks in front of their door, etc... And they want them to move. And uncle's roommate won't stop being inappropriate too... Like today a cop was behind me and he said "The cop should pull you over and give you... Breast implants!" Am I'm thinking what the heck?

My uncle was taking to a social worker today and basically told her that he's "still raising me" and the social worker was asking if he was my guardian and if he had the right to tell me what to do and he had no good answer...


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Fnord
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17 Aug 2020, 4:45 pm

Angnix, I am going to post this just one more time.

You need to cut yourself off from your uncle and his roommate.  They are exploiting you.  The uncle is dangerous.

If you don't see your situation as a problem, then just say so and I will stop replying to your posts.


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