Increasingly terrified of driving

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Driving has always made me anxious and my record is not great. I almost rear-ended someone the other day and I cannot emotionally handle anything like that happening again. It would not be the first time. It is already a massive source of shame for me and really, really makes me want to kms. After the moment passed I imagined that, if I had hit them: I would have made sure they were okay, apologized for hitting them, giving them my insurance information, apologized for the thing I was about to do, and then drown myself in a nearby lake. The end. Not dealing with that again. Done.
Yes I know the arguments for not killing myself. I am normally distressingly NOT capable of doing that. But I do not trust myself to, in the moment, not end it then and there. Boom. Bye. Another floater in the reservoir.

"Just drive more carefully" No sh*t why didn't I think of that. I wasn't on my phone or anything. I was looking at something on the dash for 1 maybe 2 seconds.
"Try to focus more" Tell that to my ADD.
I'm so constantly anxious and depressed that focusing on things in general is hard. Gotta leap to something else. Can't linger too long or my mind will wander to all the things making me want to end it all.

Just thinking back to it immediately sends me into a panic attack. The thought of driving fills me with dread and humiliation. But life goes the f*ck on. And I have to drive places whether I like it or not. So idk I'm just waiting for the end, whether I do it by accident or on purpose.

I find riding a motorcycle the same. This perhaps isn't helpful but the roads here in the UK are at the point of being too dangerous to ride on.

My advice is find some quiet roads and maybe get some friends along to help get you passed the anxiety aspect.

Riding a motorcycle would make me feel even more anxious and exposed so yeah that's a no-go for me too. American roads aren't exactly known for being great. At least ours are wider than the UK's (or so I hear). I see some of those narrow British country roads and it gives me images of me and the other guy's side-mirrors smashing into each other.

Having other people in the car is stressful. I don't really have friends I can do that with. It's not a matter of finding somewhere calmer to drive. I've already been driving for 12 years. I'm not going to get any more used to it than I am.

Some roads are so narrow that your car mirrors hit the hedge on each side at the same time! Most of our roads are fine it drivers are sensible....this is why we're doomed over here!

Maybe not, but I know I'm still getting increasingly used to it after 15 years.

Almost every driver makes a mistake every now and then. That is why we have auto insurance.

But if you are hyperfocused on avoiding a car accident, then let me pass on one tip.
"Always allow a distance of one car length for each 10 mile per hour that you are driving between you and the car in front of you."
So if you are driving 60 mph then stay back 6 car lengths from the car in front of you. In general, this give you sufficient reaction time to avoid a collision.

I have used this rule for around 50 years now and thus far have avoided any accidents. Sometimes it is a little difficult to follow because some drivers will see the gap as an opening and drive into your lane. But I just slow down and establish a new gap.

We call that the two second rule, where one sees a fixed position where the car in front passes and counts "One thousand, two thousand" and if one can count that, then one is at the minimum safe distance away.

I like driving along country lanes because it is less stressful. One can just trundle along and if a car is in a hurry behind one just pulls in where the next passing place is and lets them go... No stress. They have to wait foe you anyway! And if one meets an oncoming car is simple. You just stop! Then one of you reverses. I have rarely ever had to reverse any more then half a mile at the most, but I did buy some all weather tyres which are a little grippier then normal tyres, so though I have front wheel drive, I can still go in the mud if needed to pass other cars or vehicles. The key is to try and keep the car moving, or to back into a muddy bit so ones driven wheels are on the more solid ground (or the opposite if one has a rear wheel drive car).
What one does not want is a car with a crazy body kit. Some of todays new cars are just plain stupid as they can easily catch the bodywork when one drives off the road to allow other cars to pass. Fine for a race track but utterly useless on the real roads!
Oh. Never be tempted to use blue headlights. Totally, totally useless at driving in country areas where one needs to see the green areas on the side of the road! Forget fasion. Look for practicality.

And to conclude... A little front wheel drive car is usually easier. Avoid modern wide cars as cars today just get wider and wider. A narrow car means one has more joy in fitting through gaps. It just makes things easier! Easier to drive etc.