Should divorce really be on the ACE test?

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I think divorce can sometimes mess a kid up. In my experience irl that's mostly if the parent was cheating & the kid knew about it, the kid thought they were somehow to blame for the divorce or the kid was in their teens. Other egs I can think of that I haven't met anyone with include stigma against divorce, missing a good parent they've been denied access to and living in poverty due to the divorce.

But every other thing on the ACE test seems to be something I cannot imagine not being damaging to the kid & leaving long term negative mental health consequences. Things like 'I was molested as a kid', 'I was physically punished & it left physical damage', 'one parent threatened the other parent with a weapon in front of me', 'one parent beat the other parent up in front of me'.

I think my parents divorcing was a good thing for me:
1 I was so young that it became my 'normal'
2 They were better parents when they weren't arguing or fighting (part of the reason for my score being high is my dad threatening my mum for eg)
3 They were just incompatible together & I can't imagine them not being
4 They were still both part of my life even afterwards
5 Silly things like my dad always spoilt me when we were together cos it was 'special time'

I really don't think 'parental divorce' belongs alongside the other things.

That said, I do think sometimes it can harm the kid. Even then, sometimes it's still the best of bad options.

I think it being on there can provide a stigma against divorce. Divorce isn't always bad. It doesn't automatically make you a bad parent to split from the kid's other parent. It can be better than the household being an unhappy one with a lot of shouting and tension etc.

(TW abuse)

What is the ace test?

The Adverse Childhood Experiences is to quantify the risk of adverse events on children and so it is from the child's perspective. A divorce might be good for the parents, but the child has a different point of view. It is also assuming the a stable family is the baseline from where the adverse event of a divorce is measured. I assume the divorce is on the ACE because it has been statistically shown to adversely impact a child.

Naturally, any test is based on generalized measures of the effect of a divorce and cannot be applied to a specific child or a specific divorce. Certainly, a divorce that removes a child from an abusive parent is better than remaining with the parent, but those are two different adverse events. Naturally, that is also not implied that staying with an abusive parent just to avoid the event of divorce is less damaging.

So, to answer your question, divorce should be on the ACE.

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)

It's a lifestyle change, just like job loss, moving, death, and so on. It counts.

That's precisely where I'd place it. I'd put it in a separate test of potential risks amongst things such as grandparent death, being bullied, moving house and parent losing their job.

Something which has the potential to mess up a kid if not handled well by parents and those around them.

It's simply the fact that it's the only normal thing (part of life) in the test amongst a range of horrors no kid should ever have to face and which I think would uninversally mess a kid up.

And I'm looking at this from my own POV btw which means I'm looking at it from the kid's POV. Two happy single parents was better for me than my parents rowing all the time. I don't know why an entirely happy couple would split up.

ACE is simply a measure of risk factors for adult outcomes, such as health, from experiences before the age of 18. Divorce has been shown to adversely affect outcomes. That does not mean a particular outcome will happen to a particular adult. It just states increased risk within a population.

I am sure if your parents were happily married, that would have been much better.

I am unsure why you are interested in ACEs? It has no particular baring on you as an individual, but a research tool used to understand the affects of multiple adverse events. It has been shown to be a good predictor of risk.

Since you posted this in The Haven, what exactly is your concern about your ACE score? My ACE score is not that good. But likewise, it is not a personal score that predicts my personal outcomes.