Its a need, not a "want".

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To be accepted, not rejected. Recently Ive been hiding away from the world, and bad things are still happening to me. No matter where I go or what I do Im rejected/looked down upon. Its been that way for nearly two decades (Im 19), and it will continue for another two. I havent been hiding out for that long, but the whole reason why I did it was because I figured no one will understand, and I was tired of waiting to come across someone who would. But now that I found a bunch of people on this site, they all live way too far away from me. WTF... Im just really frustrated with life, I only want it to be a happy one. I need it to be. Now. Not later, I cant take it anymore. Today was especially bad.. I really am a great guy behind all this, I really need someone to see me in this way. Is there ANYONE out there who can offer me an environment like this?? I know Ive been asking this a lot but I guess it just shows how desperate I am.. Ill even change some things about myself if I really need to.

Let's forget the other people... maybe you should come up here right now and meet my mom and me, and then we can make plans. When I see my shrink tomorrow I'll tell him that I'd like to join an Aspie suppoert group and I'll bring up the topic of "does anyone want to live with us?" You can come to the group oo. I also need to ask him about a depressive club... so come right now!

can you forgive them for rejecting you? can you allow them to make mistakes in judgement that they don't recognize the great guy you actually are? Can you give them no reason to reject you by reducing your demands on their behaviour towards you and actually doing something that changes their minds about you?

it sucks, I know, but you are the only one that is going to change your environment. I change my environment every day by taking a few moments to greet people with a friendly word or two. I make a little list and remind myself of what is important to them in their lives ( kid's birthday, husband's promotion, their great peach cobbler recipie, etc) and ask them about it. It is so small a thing, but they hold it in such high esteem they back off from frustrating me because they have gotten what they wanted from their encounter with me!

and having them back off from giving me a hard time is what I wanted from them!

of course, I have to plan naps three times a week from dealing with the stress of having to do all that. It is not my favorite little task, but it pays you back with such GREAT interest I am grateful for figuring it out..
and they see the really great gal I am (even though it exhausts me.)
and I have a bit better life because of it. hope that helps!

your mileage may vary,

Merle

Ive made an environment change too, I moved my ass 3000 miles all the way to Washington state, and still got rejected. Eventually I just had to move back. What I mean is if anyone could provide an environment where something like this wouldnt happen.. That is what I need.
Ana, your too kind, I really appreciate your support. Thank you.

I'll take you to my shrink and we can ask to join an Aspie support group, and maybe also a depressives' support group. I listed all the great things about Edmonton (well, not all of them, but some of them!) in the "come and live with us" thread. I know it's not enough, but it's better than nothing. What did you do in Washington? Nothing?


Please tell us more about your problems!

you don't have to move across the country to change your environment, is what I am trying to tell you. You can change your enviroment today by changing your attitude towards people. Nobody said it wasn't difficult, but it is doable!

YOU have to provide that environment where rejection isn't a daily situation, username88. No one else is ABLE to provide an environment like that for you, YOU have to provide it for yourself.

it is easier to put on carpet slippers than to carpet the whole world, my friend.

Merle

Ana54
Im pretty sure I talked about it but I guess it wouldnt hurt to do it again. As far as the rejection goes.. After a while of being there, out of luck I randomly met this person who liked the band logo on my shirt, and invited me to live in his house because of it lol. Its cause all black metal fans are close to eachother like brothers, I suppose
Lets just say that I sort of got evicted from the family so to speak. After a little while they all knew there was something different about me, but they knew I was smart so I guess they couldnt really put their finger on it. After a while it just sort of all came crashing down.

I know; and then when you re-met your old friends but weren't used to them yet, so started talking nonsense because you feared so much that you would be considered boring, simple, ignorant, backward... I've done the exact same thing meeting old friends (and new people too) and even talking to my parents!


I think we really click. I remember some times when I was considered cool until the people who thought I was cool spent a little more time with me.