I grew up in a dysfunctional family where there was lots of abuse and bullying and yes, I was the scapegoat and the black sheep. Since I was 15, I made the decision to get away from them and break the cycle as soon as I could. However, I will admit that I still have a serious issue with deep rooted anger and rage with them. Every once in a while, I find myself regressing to the way I would talk to them whenever I would retaliate. However, that is only if:
1. I hear from them and particularly my mom, who has several different mental illnesses
2. If see them doing something that I don't approve of
Do I like doing this? No, absolutely not and I don't want to do something that could get me into big trouble. At the moment, I am trying to break the cycle and get help because abusive and deranged is not the person I want to be.
29 Oct 2020, 3:55 pm
