Afraid of losing my son

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My son got a tooth abscess a few days after his dentist appointment. It's getting worse and worse every day and he says he gets chills and fevers now. He now says it's popping. His mood has changed and he has been sleeping more in the day time and up at night because of the pain and he gets nausea.

The thing is his dentist doesn't want to work with him because he is so sensitive to any pain or even inconvenient touches so they said he needs an anesthesia and only Kaiser does it due to his insurance. They said it could be a week or two months before they can get him an appointment and they will call us. About 3 days later, his got a bubble above his infected tooth. We have tried Tylenol and mouth wash and our son is so stubborn he won't do the mouth wash I got him that would help with the pain (non alcohol). He hates how it feels in his mouth, he also hates brushing his teeth so he never brushed them right.

I called his dentist office to see if they will push for a further appointment with Kaiser if they tell him about how this is urgent now due to his current condition. Instead they are going to prescribe him a antibiotic and suggested I call his insurance and see if they will switch it so I can get him in sooner.

I know for a fact you can die from a tooth ache and symptoms of it going to your brain are the symptoms my son is describing so I am scared he is gonna die before December. I am already thinking about taking him into ER because by then they can't ignore it. My mom in law suggested this because this is what she did when a dresser fell on my husband when he was a child and it ruptured his front tooth so he went into ER and they brought in a dentist and did work on him there.

I would think a dentist would get my son in ASAP if it was this bad but nooo. I looked into urgent dentist care and couldn't find any that takes my son's insurance. I just hope he can just yank that thing out since he says it's loose anyway. I also wish his tooth was dead because when I had an infected tooth, I didn't even know I had one because that tooth of mine was dead so I had no pain at all. Even when the filling came off, I had a black hole in my tooth and felt nothing. The dentists acted like it was some sort of miracle because they seemed to be confused and surprised. Also I never even had a toothache there ever, not even when I was a child so I got lucky and it took me maybe a couple months before I had a root canal done on it. But for my son, it's his baby tooth that is infected so I think there is no point in wasting money to save it if it will fall out anyway so they will mind as well just give it a pull. The puss just drains through the tooth because it has a hole in it so at least the bubble won't get any bigger since it will keep draining through his tooth. Thank god for distance learning or he would have been missing lot of school because he would either be too tired in class or be in the nurse's office and they would probably be sending him home.

Antibiotic may prevent the worst.
I completely can't navigate the US insurance system, sorry
How old is your son? Maybe he can survive treatment without anesthesia if he knows how serious things are?

My older daughter was the same. I finally managed to treat her cavities only after she got heavily sedated. She was 5. But I discovered something that works for my children and my husband: Daily D3 vitamin prevents new cavities for them. Maybe it's something genetic and family-specific but I think it's worth a try.

It's a tooth from the first set, right?
Both in my case and my younger daughter, when a bubble showed on a gum next to an infected baby tooth, the tooth got removed.
Removal of an old baby tooth is quick, I believe even your son can handle it without anestesia if he can calm down enough. Much easier than treating the tooth.

Can you find a dentist who will use nitrous oxide, otherwise known as laughing gas? It relaxed people enough to have dental work done. There are also IV medications that don't require hospitalization.

The most dangerous problems with untreated dental issues are infections in the heart. The antibiotics should take care of that.

You can try to ER. It depends on your location. Around here, the most they will give you is pain meds and antibiotics.

If his insurance is Medicaid and you live in the US, call your state legislator. They can move these kind of issues along for their voters. Medicaid is a state program, so you have to contact your state representative or senator and not the US congress.

Are there any dentists in your area that work with the extremely poor/homeless? I’ve seen people posting online Here about needing tooth extractions and they get referred to a dentist office that works with the poorest drug addicted homeless people and will pull teeth for a very reasonable fee vs full price. Maybe there’s some sort of dental office like that in your area?

Also, my sister-in-law used to be a dental assistant and the dentist she worked for would do payment plans for people with no insurance or money. He’d just make a personal agreement with them and people would take the bus there to make a monthly payment. Maybe you could find a dentist that would do that?

Another option to explore is a dental school. If they’re in operation right now (ours is closed due to covid) & they happen to be at the part of their course work where they’re taking patients, you may be able to get a student dentist to do it for the cost of supplies. I have friends that go on the waiting list here so they can get their dentures done etc for a fraction of the cost and they’ve all been happy with the work - which is overseen by a qualified dentist/instructor.

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Are you close to a dental college?

How much does it cost to have the tooth pulled w/o involving insurance?

Google says $75-650 depending on complexity - whether it’s simple or surgical, and whether anesthesia is necessary or not.

What if it’s only ~$150 to have done and then it’s done? Do you have a price quote?

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No for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.

Is it a primary or a permanent tooth?

Yep. The ER might be the best thing.

Also: "laughing gas" can be something to consider.

I would say you have to take care of this sooner, rather than later.

I hope all turns out ok.

About a year ago, I had an abscess, too. It was quite painful. I understand what your son is going through.

I hope you can get him to a dentist or a doctor very, very soon.

The first thing he needs is an antibiotic. They would probably give him that in the ER.

Find whatever hospital in town that takes Kieser insurance and take him to the ER. Or just go into Kieser as a walk-in. He needs medication for his infection. Any doctor can prescribe the medication he needs. That should take him out of danger and suffering until a dentist visit.