Are these thoughts distorted?

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I was in Austin last Saturday and my car's alternator messed up for the second time. I had to pull over and call for my family to come get me. During the wait, my mind just went into a spiral of negative thoughts. The thoughts were about how I've lost my therapy, I am always behind other people (Even in the Aspergers world), I am getting older, death gets closer to me every year, and my family is eventually going to die as well. I fear everyone will go before I do and if I were ever to undergo car trouble again, I will truly be helpless and most likely lose my life.

Are these thoughts sane or are they distorted?

Is there any expectation of inheritance? That might somewhat alleviate concerns over your financial future when family is gone.

i think it's normal for negative thoughts to come racing through your mind in specific situations like that, your car sh*****g the bed leaving you on your own, with nobody else but your thoughts....happens to me all the time.

maybe the mere presence of the broken down car, representing something important to you that has failed you, makes it more likely to think that, at least compared to any other situation when you may be by yourself.


may i ask, what do you drive?

i think it would too. though bringing it up out of the blue may be awkward. it's a morbid subject to some, discussing what happens after deaths.

I think it is distorted. For this example, when you break down, someone kind will usually stop and help you. It is very uncomfortable not to have social support. I am glad you went to Austin. You should go more often. Maybe you will make friends there eventually.

I actually had to pull in to the parking lot of a ballroom and it represented pretty much what my life is like: I am always on the outside and everyone else is having fun. My invitation to the social world got lost in the mail and all I can do is watch.

My car is my only means of getting around since places in Texas are so far apart from each other and if the car breaks down, I am screwed.

I have a 2009 Toyota Corolla.

Yup, distorted - although that doesn't mean you are not sane. How did you lose your therapy?

At least it’s the alternator. How many miles on the car?

Sorry about what happened.

I think the best solution is to be as self sufficient as possible, because I know that people are unlikely to stop to help me. For cases like this I carry basic tools, full size spare tire, snow chains, spare bulbs and fuses. And in case I see someone in trouble, I have towing rope and jumper cables.

If the alternator goes bye-bye, the car does not go. Even though it's about a $250-300 job.

He needed to join AAA----that would have probably been the best option. It's about $75 a year for full membership (free towing within 100 miles included). AAA would have towed the car to the nearest repair shop (something like Pep Boys or something). At least some Pep Boys are open Sundays. It would have been easy to find one in the Austin area. They would have diagnosed the problem, and obtained the new alternator and installed it (perhaps he would have had to wait until the next morning).

The only problem: where would he have slept that night?

Yep. He should have jumper cables (good ones cost like $60 or so; not-so-good ones maybe $25 or so). It's harder for a person to change a tire these days because the hubcaps (in newer cars) are more attached to tires than they previous were. He'd have to have the tools to undo the hubcap from the tire.

I think they are valid worries and I think many people with small social networks have the same worries. I once came across a young man who's car was broken down. He was sitting in the driver's seat crying, very obviously with no resources to take care of the situation. At some point, parking enforcement would have towed the car but I think two young men came along and helped him push it to the gas station. As Kortie suggested though, it's good to have AAA.

One thing that can burn an alternator out is a battery that is low on charge. A lot of times, when a person's battery does, once they jump the car, they think the alternator will charge up the battery...it will to some extent usually, but this places a big burden on the alternator. If your battery has died due to the car not being started regularly or lights being left on, it's ideal to charge the battery with a car battery charger.

My husband had been an AAA member for decades, but when I retired and took over the finances, I did not renew the AAA. Lo and behold, I did need a tow, but I used my smart phone to call in a wrecker. My fee was about $100, which is greater than a year's AAA membership, but I don't have a need for that every year, so overall, I still feel it is better to skip the AAA.

Also, I have had really poor service from AAA when I was in a rural area, and the dumb operator wanted me to state the nearest intersection or the street names - and could not even work with "7 miles east of I-39 on State Hwy 222." Furthermore, if you are in a ditch because of general bad weather, you may have a considerable wait to get any service through AAA.

Not saying AAA is a bad idea, but I also don't think it deserves a blanket endorsement. And many car insurance policies can add "roadside assistance" for a fee significantly less than the $60 AAA membership.

It’s been a few years since this incident but what happened still resonates with me since it still reflects how my social life is like.