An autistic’s hopes for the autistic community in 2021
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ASPartOfMe
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Joined: 25 Aug 2013
Age: 68
Gender: Male
Posts: 39,637
Location: Long Island, New York
08 Dec 2020, 7:53 am
The Hill
Sam Farmer wears many hats, among these father, husband, musician, computer consultant, and autism spectrum community contributor. Diagnosed later in life with Asperger’s Syndrome, he writes blogs and articles, records coaching videos, and presents at conferences, sharing stories, ideas, and insights as to how one can achieve greater happiness and success in life despite facing challenges and adversity that often interfere in these pursuits.
A Long Walk Down a Winding Road: Small Steps, Challenges, & Triumphs Through an Autistic Lens” is available on Amazon and can be purchased at all major booksellers.
Quote:
As somebody who has been living with autism for 51 years and who has a son on the autism spectrum, I cannot help but want more for the community of which we are a part, considering the unique vulnerabilities and challenges we face. My hopes for our community come into sharp focus at this time, as we stand at the threshold of a new year. And not just any new year, but one that follows probably one of the most turbulent of our lifetimes.
It was my great fortune to have been raised by parents, both of them now deceased, who were wise enough to drill into my head the importance of building a strong sense of self and of learning how to love who you are. Thankfully, I knew that they were worth listening to and bought into what they taught me. As such, my wishes for the community in 2021, and every year going forward, revolve around these essential endeavors. True happiness requires at least a measure of self-esteem, and we only have one life to live. Let's do what we can to make it fulfilling and happy.
Understand that you are beautiful just the way you are! Love who you are and be who you are, at all costs, no matter what types of adversity you face and how different you perceive yourself to be. To be different is to be unique and special.
If you are not already there, I have found that the process of learning how to love yourself is greatly facilitated by adopting realistic expectations of yourself and others, and by accepting if not embracing your autism profile. Easier said than done, but it can and has been accomplished. To be imperfect is to be human, so let's accept the imperfections, and in so doing, accept our humanity.
Accept that there is nothing wrong with not being able to satisfy or please everybody. It is simply an impossibility, so try not to expect this of yourself, and try not to expect everybody you know or meet to like you or to pay attention to you.
Lastly, feeling good about yourself becomes easier when you realize that autism is not all about challenges and adversity. It also brings valuable talents to many on the spectrum and probably to you as well.
If you made it through 2020, you are probably stronger than you realize. Acknowledge your own inner strength and use it to see yourself through life's hardships. Self-love and inner strength go hand in hand. As you work to enhance one of these, the other is enhanced at the same time.
Rise above the bullying. Inner strength is your ally in this endeavor. You can use it to refuse to let any bully dictate how you live your life or force you to be somebody you are not. Nobody deserves to be bullied and nobody has the right to bully others.
It helps to understand that bullies are also human, that they may be facing hardships that account for why they act the way they do and that they may not be receiving the help they need and deserve to change how they treat others.
Do not buy into the myth that vaccination causes autism. I have already heard this mentioned in the media with respect to the COVID-19 vaccine and it has only begun to be distributed!
Why is the dismissal of this falsehood one of my hopes for the autism spectrum community in 2021? Because to be autistic and to buy into it can be injurious to self-esteem. It does not help to have society minimize what is a core aspect of who you are as being a side effect of a vaccine. Autism is an alternative neurology. Simply put, the autistic brain is wired differently than that of non-autistic individuals. It is not a medical condition caused by a vaccine.
I worry that the stage has already been set for the perpetuation of a fictional association between the COVID-19 vaccine and autism. My hope is that you rise above the misinformation. Do not let it get under your skin.
Get help if you or those who care about you feel that you could use it. Doing so is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it is a sign of strength in that it shows that you have the courage to change!
Wherever you may be, assistance is available, if not locally, then remotely. These include organizations committed to helping folks on the spectrum, autism resource centers (ARC's) and a variety of clinicians and therapists.
I wish you and those you care about nothing less than the best in 2021. Make it a great year!
It was my great fortune to have been raised by parents, both of them now deceased, who were wise enough to drill into my head the importance of building a strong sense of self and of learning how to love who you are. Thankfully, I knew that they were worth listening to and bought into what they taught me. As such, my wishes for the community in 2021, and every year going forward, revolve around these essential endeavors. True happiness requires at least a measure of self-esteem, and we only have one life to live. Let's do what we can to make it fulfilling and happy.
Understand that you are beautiful just the way you are! Love who you are and be who you are, at all costs, no matter what types of adversity you face and how different you perceive yourself to be. To be different is to be unique and special.
If you are not already there, I have found that the process of learning how to love yourself is greatly facilitated by adopting realistic expectations of yourself and others, and by accepting if not embracing your autism profile. Easier said than done, but it can and has been accomplished. To be imperfect is to be human, so let's accept the imperfections, and in so doing, accept our humanity.
Accept that there is nothing wrong with not being able to satisfy or please everybody. It is simply an impossibility, so try not to expect this of yourself, and try not to expect everybody you know or meet to like you or to pay attention to you.
Lastly, feeling good about yourself becomes easier when you realize that autism is not all about challenges and adversity. It also brings valuable talents to many on the spectrum and probably to you as well.
If you made it through 2020, you are probably stronger than you realize. Acknowledge your own inner strength and use it to see yourself through life's hardships. Self-love and inner strength go hand in hand. As you work to enhance one of these, the other is enhanced at the same time.
Rise above the bullying. Inner strength is your ally in this endeavor. You can use it to refuse to let any bully dictate how you live your life or force you to be somebody you are not. Nobody deserves to be bullied and nobody has the right to bully others.
It helps to understand that bullies are also human, that they may be facing hardships that account for why they act the way they do and that they may not be receiving the help they need and deserve to change how they treat others.
Do not buy into the myth that vaccination causes autism. I have already heard this mentioned in the media with respect to the COVID-19 vaccine and it has only begun to be distributed!
Why is the dismissal of this falsehood one of my hopes for the autism spectrum community in 2021? Because to be autistic and to buy into it can be injurious to self-esteem. It does not help to have society minimize what is a core aspect of who you are as being a side effect of a vaccine. Autism is an alternative neurology. Simply put, the autistic brain is wired differently than that of non-autistic individuals. It is not a medical condition caused by a vaccine.
I worry that the stage has already been set for the perpetuation of a fictional association between the COVID-19 vaccine and autism. My hope is that you rise above the misinformation. Do not let it get under your skin.
Get help if you or those who care about you feel that you could use it. Doing so is not a sign of weakness. In fact, it is a sign of strength in that it shows that you have the courage to change!
Wherever you may be, assistance is available, if not locally, then remotely. These include organizations committed to helping folks on the spectrum, autism resource centers (ARC's) and a variety of clinicians and therapists.
I wish you and those you care about nothing less than the best in 2021. Make it a great year!
I would add that Mr. Farmer has set an an ambitious set of goals. You may may only achieve some of these goals, maybe miss on most. You are not Sam Farmer. Because he had great parenting Sam Farmer might have a head start on you. It has taken you years, even decades of bad experiences to get your self esteem to this low point so you will probably need more than a year to get it back to the were it should be.
Improving invariably is not a linear process. It usually involves a few steps forward and one or more steps backwards.. These backwards steps can be depressing. They are part of the process. They are harmful only if you stay there to long and do not learn from them.
A lot of autistics have problems multitasking. Due to this Sam’s list might might seem overwhelming. My advice is to hyper focus on one or two of the goals at a time. That is an example of using your autistic strength that Sam was talking about.
Despite the caveats above I think Sam’s goals are a great set of guidelines to follow.
While I wish you a great 2021 also that is a bit too much multitasking for me so I think I will settle for wishing you a more positive then negative remainder of 2020.
_________________
“Self Acceptance is a process not a performance”
“You are autistic enough. And you always have been”
Professionally Identified and joined WP August 26, 2013
DSM 5: Autism Spectrum Disorder, DSM IV: Aspergers Moderate Severity.
envirozentinel
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08 Dec 2020, 8:42 am
6Thank you; his story sounds pretty cool. Always inspiring when we can make progress and achieve something that not everyone does.
We should always set goals and challenges for ourselves.
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