Neighbor friend acting funny with me

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Summer_Twilight
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14 Dec 2020, 10:35 am

Hi:
I ran into a neighbor of mine, who is also on the spectrum and lives on his own as well. Though he is able to support himself, he does appear to be living in his own world. The relationship has seemed to be one-sided next to being at the level of a 9-year-old. I invited him to a virtual get-together on Friday which I thought he had said "Yes," on. I was also going to see if two people could come over to my house for cake while everyone is virtual, as I am having a celebration. We have had no problem getting together one-on-one at his house during the pandemic.


When I ran into him on Saturday, he first sounded really excited to see me. When I had confirmed if he was still coming, I said "Well I don't know." It was when I asked him if I could give him some chocolate cake he said, "Well I don't really have time to talk." When I went back to look at the invite, I noticed that his RSVP had been changed.He has usually said, "Yes," to me in the past.


Though I was sad, I thought about it that felt that I don't really think he's that interested in me. For starters, he has never once texting me or called me. I have been the one doing all the texting. However, that maybe part of his autism. I always have a hard time talking to him myself. Otherwise, he's a very sweet person.



Sylkat
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14 Dec 2020, 4:04 pm

Could he have misunderstood friendliness for romantic interest?
Personally, I frequently don’t understand unspoken motives or subtle hints, and I don’t realize immediately that I should have found a way to ask, rather that assuming.
By the time I do see that something more was meant, clarification is too late.
Story of my life.
Sigh :(


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Mountain Goat
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14 Dec 2020, 4:06 pm

It could be that he has had a stressful week?


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Summer_Twilight
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14 Dec 2020, 5:57 pm

I never thought of him thinking that maybe I have romantic feelings for him, which I do not as I don't think we would be compatible. :lol: I don't view him as dating material.

However, because he is more on the immature side, his mom probably is more clingy with him. I am thinking maybe he told his mom, and she probably said, "No" because of COVID-19? Otherwise, he can support himself and goes everywhere on his own. He really talented too.

However, he will shut down if you bring up something he's not comfortable talking about which is a hot button for him. He also shuts down if something goes wrong and then he gets moody.



Sylkat
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15 Dec 2020, 9:30 am

Sounds autistic/Aspergergian to me.


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Summer_Twilight
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15 Dec 2020, 11:20 am

I saw him this morning while I was on my way to the bus and we were polite to each other but the conversations went like this
1. I did not bring up giving him cake or contacting us virtual on Friday
2. I asked him what he was up to but he wanted to ask me first in which I told him I was on my way to the bus
3. I saw him walking with a package, I asked and he got annoyed with me

After that, I just kept walking.



Sylkat
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15 Dec 2020, 1:08 pm

I think he has communication problems.
Being superficial and polite is probably all that he can handle, and you are probably doing him a great kindness by acknowledging him and speaking to him.
You maybe the only person who initiates ANY conversation all day.


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