I HATE myself!

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I been playing a game all night on Tuesday & I went to bed at 5 AM on Wednesday, I was in a tournament. I’m still a bit depressed, that why. Everything in my life is sooo messs up. I have soooo much pain in my feet, my hand, my wrist can hurt too. I’m emotional, I want to cry alot. Things can be so overwhelming. I can’t bend over without worrying about falling down, I wish there another way to get my packages on my porch. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t living on my own. I’m not responsible enough to take care of me & my cat, taking care of her litter is one of the hardest, I can buy her food & litter, I can feed her. It’s very hard to stay happy all day. Sometimes my speech is bad. I hate that I’m repeating some of the words when I’m reading it. I’m still hoping to die. I never done anything really great in my life, I was in a dance program, that was pretty exciting & I performed on stage, it was the first time I felt that I fitted in. Why can’t I grow up? I can really feel like a child. I’m 50, not 5 years old. I feel lost without my mom.

I'm a 36 year old toddler and I hope I die before my parents because I can't imagine surviving without them.

I'm not good with comforting words but you're welcome to take a hug whenever you need one.

I am 52 and still feel like a child,

i will never lose the true essence of whom i am.

Not to sound harsh,but you need to start facing life head on.

Find the inner strength and push forward.

No more games,tv,social media for awhile,no more looking for distractions to run away from life.

Start out little and do something different each day.

From small things,big things grow.

Declutter,clean house,self love.

Listen to music,lift your spirits.

Change routines,change what you eat.

Focus on the positives,

and find a silver lining in everything.

Regards Mum,she is by your side,make her proud,find her strength.: )

Don't give up. All will be ok.

My day was bad, I got out of bed at 3:50 PM, I was depressed, I listened to my fave singer, I slowly got better, it took me hours to get so much better. I got package delivered this morning, good thing it wasn’t stolen, I got two more packages delivered today, I thought I was going fall down, I got so angry at myself, I told myself I wanted to die & I was crying too, I was breathing too fast too. I hate having aspergers & soooo much physical pain.

I often find it easy to sleep in up until around 4pm when I have really bad depressive days. I’m sorry hear you’re are struggling. I have a digestive disease that can be debilitating on some days - today being one of them. I just thought I’d ask, do you have an extended litter scooper? I bought one not long ago and it has been a real back-saver. As for the packages on your porch, it depends on the weight of course but a mobility aid claw-grabber might help a bit. I hope you feel better soon.

Kitty, I’m so sorry you are feeling so lousy, again, still. For me, chronic pain makes it nearly impossible to enjoy my day. Dealing with the pain, for me, is the first priority. Are you able to do anything about the pain?

For getting things done around the house, there are aids like the extender mentioned above. You could also ask for an occupational therapy assessment for the purpose of recommending adaptive aids that could help you.

Perhaps you have already tried these things, if so, I am not meaning to sound patronizing.

(((Kitty)))

Kitty when I feel like you do, and I often do, I rest as much as possible. Sending you a big, massive hug.

"there's a thin line between love and hate"

Om Nom hugs